Why do people change? People ask this question all the time. This is a difficult problem scores of people have attempted to solve. Curiosity exists about changes observed in parents, siblings, friends or even a significant other. Why did this person change? The answer to one of the most vexing questions is certainly not an easy one.

Rather than demanding a response or using interrogation techniques to get an answer, solve the matter by reviewing these reasons. This interesting question has a multitude of replies. Countless people fit into one of these categories.

Life changes

Without hesitation people push forward with their lives. This means they graduate high school or college. They meet someone to spend the rest of their life with or marry and have kids. When life changes they are generally in control and make the modifications they want. They change because life did.

If you haven’t pushed forward with your own this is part of the issue. They changed and you didn’t. 

When they make positive decisions a positive result will occur. The same is said for negative decisions as well. Which way anyone goes is totally up to them.

They want too

They change because they want to. Wanting to alter a bad situation is wonderful. People find they are in a bad spot and modify it to make a positive change to their life. There is no more drinking and driving, payment of child support takes place and spending more time with the kids is a priority. Hitting the hottest dancing spots after work comes to a halt. Wanting to change and making it happen is certainly possible.

Unfortunately, this is a class more people with bad habits need to fall into. Longing to do something and seeing it take place are certainly not always compatible. However, it does turn out more often than not.

They had too

Guess what? People have to grow up. This is a necessary change. A few will resist the urge or need to do so, but eventually everyone does. This means giving up a lot of things that are not in truth necessary. It means getting a job, a place to live or finishing school.

It could take months or even years, but eventually it transpires and it is an enormous adjustment to living. Imagine leaving the bar stool occupied for the last four years every four out of five days a week. Instead of ordering a beer, order the next batch of computers for the office staff.

A hobby of spending an entire paycheck at the mall and having mom and dad pay the rent is over. The class clown is finally not funny anymore. Growing up is a sad time for some individuals.

Life happens

Life happens all the time around us. The clock ticks minutes and hours away as time passes and so do we, whether we like it or not. These means people are laid off promoted or move across the country to marry someone they met in college.

They join the military and see the world. Instead of working in a field they love and trained for they take the first job that comes along for the next five years.  They graduate from college during a bad economy instead of a good one.  

It happens whether we want it to or not. This means revising how to live to adapt. They have to change because life happens.

Death pays a visit

Death is something everyone handles differently. We all grieve, but in a multitude of ways. There is an enormous difference in how you felt when your mailman died versus when grandma died. When death suddenly pays a visit people change.

When someone is suddenly no longer with us, we check how long we have left and understand how precious life is. People realize they do not have forever to do a lot of things. Fear is an emotion death brings and everyone reacts to it.

A long and slow death of someone close is another story. It could be months or even years. Some people care for a loved one. This will put life in a holding pattern.

Sudden changes made in life will accommodate a terminal situation. In truth, everything is unusual for an uncertain amount of time. This is an enormous adjustment for many people in how they live.

Kids come along

Kids are an epiphany for countless people. They are amendments to how life used was. Many people jokingly refer to how life was before kids and after them.

Children leave home or kindergarten starts. They go through teenage years and age us by decades in a matter of years if we let them.  They get a driver’s license and people go from being parents to grandparents.

We stop attending bachelor parties and instead go to PTA meetings. Coaching little league instead of going on blind dates is certainly a reformation. Kids are life and things are different because of that.

Circumstances are different

When did we get to retirement age? When did we start to think about getting life insurance instead of a new motorcycle? When circumstances are different we become different.

Losing a home or getting a first mortgage are circumstances converting life into something else. Some are under our control while others are not. They become distinctive and so do we. We accommodate the circumstances and our lives change.


A fire, a flood or a tornado came along one day and everything distorted in life. Didn’t see it coming and have no idea what to do now. It doesn’t really matter because disasters are variations which are gigantic and leave us feeling out of control and floundering.

Insurance is terrific, but in most cases it is months before getting back to anything resembling normal.  Countless people do not have insurance for when a flood or forest fire takes place. What happens to their life?

For some a disaster means moving across the nation into an entirely new unexpected life at any moment. Disasters change the landscape of more than a home or place of employment. They will touch lives in a negative way all around.


Illness is sometimes as harmful as death. Depending on how or what illness falls into the spot light is also a cause. An incurable medical condition for a child or a chronic one which leaves someone unable to care for their children makes adaptation a necessity.

Moving mom or dad with a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s into the house to care for them becomes necessary. Medical insurance which cannot cover everything will change everything. How about having to file for bankruptcy due to medical bills? Getting stuck in a wheelchair? An illness in the family or in someone will modify anyone’s life.

In conclusion

People change all the time. Lots of them do it without even realizing they did. No matter how much we want things to stay the same they never do.

Remember, you will change too. Everyone does. Whether you go in a positive direction or negative one is up to you. Even with factors out of your control how you resolve them or respond will make you a different person because people change.

Why are things different?

What makes things different?
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