When two people get married, they expect things to be romantic, perfect and that their love will last forever. The reality is that everyday life can interfere with that or one or the other partner can fall into some relationship problem traps if they are not on the lookout for ways to strengthen their relationship and avoid potential relationship problems in a marriage.
Here are 10 tips for avoiding common problems of marriage:
1. Communication problems
What married couple hasn’t at least at one time or another felt as if the other partner wasn’t listening to a word they said? Communication issues are one of the very top relationship problems in a marriage that most couples report. If you want to have a good marriage, you need to work on your communication skills.
When a couple stops communicating, it doesn’t leave any options for working out any existing marriage problems. You have to know what is wrong before you can fix it. There are many ways to communicate throughout the day from sending a simple text or email to a quick phone call at lunchtime. These things let you connect with each other and still feel a part of each other’s lives.
It doesn’t mean you are pestering the other partner and interfering with their work day, it just means you send a quick “I love you” or perhaps a quick email to say you will be late getting home. The main thing is to communicate with each other and let each other know what is going on, if there are any marriage problems, etc.
Scheduling a date night can help. The two of you can use it to be in a neutral environment to talk out things and share your thoughts. It’s bad for a marriage to hold things in that are bothering you because it can all blow up if you do that.
It is worst when the couple altogether stops talking to one another. Fighting and bickering are far from ideal, but total loss of communication is even worse. When husband and wife stop communicating, there is no chance for them to let one other know what is wrong or what one wants, let alone to work out their problems.
2. Boredom or monotony
In order to keep from being bored, you have to learn to find things to keep the excitement and romance going. Don’t avoid each other and find new things to do together so that you don’t get into a rut. When two people are married for a long time, they can suffer marriage problems of getting into the monotony of running a household, taking care of kids, doing laundry, cleaning, etc. These things are far from romantic, and you have to understand that they are just things we have to do and that we also have to work 100 percent to keep excitement going and find things to help us not get bored. Marriage isn’t 50/50, it’s really 100/100 and couples need to know this from day one.
3. Love making problems or loss of intimacy
Making love is something that sometimes causes marriage problems due to the couple either not communicating their needs to each other or problems with a loss of intimacy or even infidelity. Making love is an important part of marriage and couples need to learn how to keep the excitement going, while keeping the commitment to each other and avoiding the temptation of infidelity.
This is especially true after a couple has kids, as this sometimes can cause relationship problems in marriage that interfere with making love. Some couples solve this by scheduling sessions. While that may not sound romantic, it can be done in a way that is exciting and the couple can plan for it and even go out to a hotel for a change of pace.
4. Unrealistic expectations
This goes back to thinking that marriage is only a 50/50 deal, when in reality it is something that both partners have to put in 100/100 to make it work. It’s not true that marriage meets the needs of each partner, you can’t expect them to know what you need if you don’t communicate those needs. Plus, your spouse is only human and can’t be expected to be a mind reader or be able to meet all of your needs. Marriage is a partnership, and you both have to be willing to help each other, but not expect impossible or unrealistic things like thinking they should know what is wrong when you have marriage problems, but you don’t express them.
5. Kids coming into the marriage
When a couple has kids, it means there is less time for each other, but it doesn’t mean the end of a marriage or even the end of a time of romance or intimacy. In the first few weeks or months after a child is born, the parents have to learn to accept the new routine and that everyone is going to be tired, grouchy and not get much sleep. But after the baby gets to sleeping through the night, things will get better. Plus, you still need to keep your date night and get a trusted babysitter to stay with the baby so you two can at least get away together for an hour or two.
6. Lack of Respect for each other
Another thing that sometimes causes relationship problems in a marriage is a lack of respect for each other. Some spouses will talk bad about their partner to other people and that is something that can cause relationship problems in marriage. Instead, you need to have respect for your partner and to learn to uplift them and say good things about them. If there are marriage problems, then you should address them with the partner, not handle it by saying bad things to others about your spouse.
7. Lying and Dishonesty
Another thing that is a possible issue is if one or the other partner is lying or being dishonest in other ways. This leads to hate and discontent and other sorts of marriage problems. Lying and being dishonest only hurts each other and drives a wedge between you both. Learn to be honest and let your spouse know the truth of a matter. Even if the truth hurts, it can be told in a loving fashion.
8. Always thinking you must be right all the time
Another issue is if one or the other of spouses thinks that they are never wrong and get stubborn and disrespectful by declaring that they are never wrong. It only causes a lot of marriage problems to think this way as no one is always right, it is just impossible for this to occur. If you continue to do this, you will just cause fighting and bickering and make you both grow apart. Instead, you should find ways to help each other and even if you are right, don’t rub it in and instead find a loving way to tell your partner so you can avoid relationship problems in a marriage.
9. Being hurtful by constantly teasing your partner
Sometimes one or the other spouse is a teaser and thinks it is funny to always pick on the partner. If this bothers your spouse or they get hurt by it, then it is no longer funny and it should stop immediately. It is very inconsiderate and can hurt their self-esteem and you shouldn’t just tell them they don’t have a sense of humor. Instead, try to think how you would feel if they did it to you constantly and then perhaps you will understand and not tease your spouse and cause marriage problems.
10. Someone is greedy and selfish all the time
Another possible example of marriage problems is when spouses are greedy and selfish and pay more attention to themselves or their friends instead of their partner. You might be spending all your money on your own hobbies, always being the one that chooses the movie or places to go, etc. You can avoid this issue by the two of you dividing up these choices and learning that it isn’t all about you. It also concerns your spouse so you can have a happy marriage and less marriage problems.