To Invest or Not
In life the only two true resources you will ever have are time and energy. When it comes to investing your precious time and energy into relationships it can be a challenge to find relationships that are worthwhile. Knowing and recognizing the early warning signals can prevent the head and heart ache of a destructive relationship.
Having read countless articles (often resentful and biased) on dating along with experiencing many of these signs first hand, I present to you an objective approach to evaluating whether or not a girl is relationship material. It is important to keep in mind that these signs can easily be transposed to men and relationships in general (i.e. friendships) – learning to recognize these signs will help weed out the negative impacting relationships and ultimately improve your quality of life.
I have written this article to cover all the signs starting from the initial courtship stage, dating or the official relationship stage. As a general rule-of-thumb look for multiple signs before you make any damaging assumptions, and give it a “3 strikes and you’re out” condition before you make any rash decisions. Also sometimes it might be very hard to see these signs so trust your gut instincts to help get a read on what’s going on in the relationship.
Courtship Stage Signs
The solid signs to recognize during the 'seeing' or courtship stage of a relationship.
1. Always the First to Initiate
If you’re always the one to initiate the conversation it might seem a bit one-sided. Sure there is the traditional notion that men are the ones to court the women but if you’re always the only one making an effort then it’s not called a two-way relationship. You simply cannot build a relationship if only one person is doing all the work. Find someone that is actually interested into getting to know you.
2. Too Busy
If she constantly uses the ‘too busy’ excuse, then she is probably not interested. Being busy is the easy way for someone to avoid seeing you or possibly a ‘playing hard to get’ move. If a girl is interested she will make time for you even if it means putting you in front of her friends, family or work. Take a hint and move on unless you like playing hard to get.
3. One-worded Answers
Similar to the above, if a girl gives one-word answers whether when they speak or text then they could be disinterested, a terribly boring person or lacking any good communication skills. In this case, let’s assume if she is constantly giving one worded answers then she will be most likely not interested.
So she keeps changing the date or time of a potential meet up. Worse yet, she makes an appointment with you but doesn’t even both to show up let alone a courtesy cancellation call/message. There are no real good excuses for flakiness. What it potentially says is that you aren’t important enough to make an effort – yes even a message to say that she is going to be late or she can’t make it.
I’ve had some girls avoid confrontation because they simply aren’t ready to meet up. It could possibly mean that she either has a lot of insecurities or that she doesn’t find you a suitable partner. Learn to read behind the lines, there is always a reason why they do what they do. Being the guy that constantly accommodates for this lack of respect towards you only makes you more of a ‘door mat’ – don’t tolerate getting walked over, find someone who actually appreciates your time!
Right next to flakiness is punctuality however in this case she turns up late. I don’t mean 5-10 minutes late due to traffic but more like 30 minutes to an hour late. I know some people are always late and it’s just their standard however it should at least be communicated beforehand rather than blatantly leaving you hanging. Constantly being late is sign of lack of respect for your time – why should you have to wait in limbo for someone that doesn’t even appreciate your time? Address the issue, give her some leeway for being late or move on.
6. Not Your Number One Option
If you do happen to find out that she is seeing multiple guys at the same time then either, be her number one option or leave. There is nothing worse than being someone’s “option” or backup plan especially if you’re her only option.
I know that girls can be very indecisive when it comes to finding a suitable partner so that they might have a few options they are seeing at the same time. I’m talking more about the girls who string along multiple guys at a time so they can ‘cherry pick’ who go out with based on what they can provide for her.
If you’re only one of her multiple options I strongly suggest win her heart or find another a better number one option yourself.
There you have it, 6 solid signs during the courtship stage that she is not worth your investment. Now let's take a look at the dating stage signs in Part 2.
Note: It is important to keep in mind to look for multiple signs rather than just one sign when deciding to continue to invest time and energy into the relationship.