relationship stage

Relationship Stage Signs

Having talked about the courtship stage signs in Part 1 and dating stage signs in Part 2, let's look at the dating stage signs.

13. Manipulative

This is a bit trickier to spot since it involves subtle psychological tactics to get what she wants and often what you don’t want. A lot of the time these tactics fly under the radar and go unnoticed but are often very obvious by third-parties such as your friends and family. Here are some common psychological tactics she might use to manipulate you.

  • Guilt tripping you: This is her way to always put the blame on you even if it was clearly her fault. If she can’t take responsibility for her actions then get used to being the scapegoat for everything. If she is always playing the victim then she could be guilt tripping you.
  • Passive aggressive behavior:  This is when behavior doesn’t match their words. She could be saying “Go ahead, have a great night” when you want to hang out with the boys with a very subtle hint of sarcasm whilst she spitefully goes out on a girl’s night.  The key is to look for a mismatch in her actions and her words – subtle yet not impossible to spot.
  • Lying or Equivocating: Lying is much harder to spot unless you are good at spotting inconsistencies. Equivocating on the other hand is telling only parts of the story to frame it in a way that serves her agenda. She isn’t lying however she is bending the truth to get her way. Look out for vague or heavily one-sided stories.

The key thing to look out for is a consistent habit to manipulate to get what she wants and often at your expense. If you are always doing things for her that benefits her however makes you unhappy then she could possibly be manipulating you. Some people naturally manipulate people without even realizing it. They learn from a young age certain psychological tactics to get what they want and become habitual, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are a bad person or not relationship material – they might just have to be made aware of these nasty tactics. There is also a very fine line between manipulation and persuading so don’t make any haste assumptions about her just yet.

If breaking it off with a manipulator is not possible (i.e. in marriage) then learn to say a gentle ‘No’ without giving reasons for her to use against you – she may also need to seek professional help.

14. Negative Energy

People are like sponges they absorb the energy that they are surrounded with. If your partner is being negative around you all the time then that might impact the quality of your life. When I mean negative I mean behavior like putting you down, incessant bitching about things or just generally being pessimistic.  Relationships should be constructive rather than destructive, filled with positive energy rather than negative energy. If you are not enough to brighten her day then maybe you aren’t right for each other.

15. Different Set of Values

Our value systems are the foundations that define the essence of our personalities and everything else that makes us unique. We are attracted to those whom have similar sets of values and often butt heads with those who have opposing values. Values are ingrained within us and very hard to change – they are deeper than our observable personality, dispositions or interests. If your partner has a completely different set of values then most likely your relationship will be filled with disagreements. Even the small trifles of daily life can accumulate to full-blown arguments.

If you’re looking for a healthy and serious long-term relationship it is better to find someone with similar or complementary values. Being with someone that has strong clashing values (i.e. opposing religious views) will foster a destructive relationship if there isn’t any effort by any side(s) to compromise.

16. Narcissistic

The last and final sign is if she is narcissistic. There is something really repulsive about narcissism – the world doesn’t revolve around her and you should recognize that from the start. The only thing to be gained from a relationship with a narcissist is a lot of bending over exercises and free ass kissing.  

Observing the way she talks or her actions will give you a good indication whether or not she is completely self-absorbed. Things like only wanting to hang together with her friends rather than with your friends, only doing what she wants to do without your consideration, or constantly using “I want…” are sure signs of narcissism. Recognize these signs and you will save yourself from hours of pulling out your hair and daydreams about homicide.

relationship material

Relationship Material

A lot of the time we get too blinded by infatuation or love that we tend to overlook the warning signs of a bad investment into a relationship. Relationships require both parties to invest time and energy into to make it worthwhile. It should be balanced to a point where both parties are contributing in a way that does not cause one side to feel undervalued at the other person's expense.

Learning to recognize these signs will give you a greater insight into whether or not a girl is worthwhile investing in. Whether you are in the beginning stage of chasing the girl, the seeing/dating stage or the official relationship stage, you can always get a good understanding of the relationship and what’s best for it.  

Lastly, I would like to reiterate that these signs can be applied to men just as easily as women and that the intention of the article is to encourage long-lasting and fulfilling relationships that serve both parties rather than for one.