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22 Habits of Unhappy People

By Edited Apr 28, 2016 94 51

Happiness isn't something that you are born with. Happiness is something that happens through a series of experiences, habits and realizations over the course of your life.  


This article isn't intended to be a solution to try and resolve the problems of those who are clinically depressed, but a series of things I have learned over the course of my life that have shaped the way I look at life and the world.  


In my experience, the more positive habits you have in your life, the more emotional happiness you will experience.  


Instead of standing on my soapbox and telling you things you should do to increase your emotional satisfaction, I’ve created a list of bad habits you should try to correct.  


Not only will eliminating these habits make you happier, they will also make you a better person.


Chronic Complaining


Happy, successful people don't do a lot of is complaining.

While it is psychologically beneficial to vent when you are under stress, there is a difference between small venting sessions and being a chronic complainer. Chronic complainers tend to always have something wrong in their life.

Chronic complainers perceive their issues to be more severe than those of others, and when you have something to vent about yourself, they aren't very interested in listening. Everybody gets dealt a hand in life. Some get dealt better hands than others, but at the end of the day this is the hand of cards that is yours.   

Chronic complainers tend to complain about their job, their significant other, how little money they make or how something wasn't fair.

If you are a chronic complainer, quit whining and talk about the things that are positive in your life and focus on what is good.  If you have a problem, sit down and work out a solution.  Constant complaining does nothing but push your friends away and keep you in that dark unhappy place.

You have good in your life, find it, and share it. [5]

Retail Therapy

Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/42806032@N07/5787003804

A fullfilled life, is a life full of experiences. Unfortunately, many people get caught up instant gratification provided by the acquisition of materialistic items. This feeling can be so addictive making it easy to forget what truly makes us happy.  

Sure the latest gadget or new outfit may make you feel good for the evening, but that high is temporary, and you will be back chasing that retail high shortly after.  

Get out and experience the world.  

If you can't afford to get away, become a tourist in your own city.  

Skydive, bungee jump, go to the beach alone, take a hike on an unknown trail, go up to a complete stranger and invite them for coffee, hell… read a book; there are so many other things you could be doing that will enrich your life  outside of shopping.  

Get out of the retail therapy rutt. You can thank me later.

Binge Drinking

Binge Drinking
Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/25729759@N02/2778035829

Alcohol can be hard to avoid. It is present in almost every social situation.  Alcohol is also a depressant.  

While alcohol can help loosen you up in these social situations, drinking excessively on a regular basis will cause all sorts of havoc on your life.  

Since alcohol is a depressant, the following day after drinking excessively usually results in a pretty unproductive day.  

Not only does this lead to the feeling like you have wasted a day, it also leads to poor eating decisions and laziness putting you even deeper into a negative feedback loop.[6][9]

Worrying About the Future

The Future
Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/67478164@N00/1849208478

No matter what you do, you only have so much impact on what the future has in store for you.  

Could you get laid off?


Could you catch a life threatening disease?


You have very little control over whether or not these things happen, so why spend your time worrying about them.  As long as you have a reasonable game plan and are living responsibly you should be focused on what is going on in your life now.  

Focus on living in the moment. If you hate what you are doing, do something else.

Right now I'm looking outside, it is sunny and my cat is rubbing up against my leg. I couldn't be happier.

Waiting for the Future

Waiting on the Future
Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/78019868@N05/7440727306/

Much like worrying about the future, many people focus on future events instead of what is going on right now. The chain of thought usually starts like this:

When you are in high school, you think you will be happy when you graduate. Once you've graduated, you think you will be happy once you land a good job.  Once you have the dream job, you think you will be happy when you are married.   Next you think you will be happy when you have kids.  Once you have kids, you think you will be happy when they move out of the house. Next it will be when they have kids.  Before you know it you will have spent your entire life waiting for events to bring you happiness just to realize life (and happiness) has passed you by.

Lack of Hobbies

Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/71337499@N00/6518955941/

Your job, house cleaning and watching TV are NOT hobbies.

Hobbies are activities that you can become passionate about.  Hobbies are something that you can do when you have three hours of free time on a Thursday night.  Hobbies are skills that could potentially earn you money if you become good enough at them.  Happy people tend to have hobbies, whether your hobby is kick boxing, playing the guitar, or even basket weaving.  

Hobbies give you something to do with your free time and give you some time for YOU. This is time you are investing in yourself. Group hobbies also have the added benefit of giving you additional socializing time.  

Eating Poorly

Greasy Cheeseburgers
Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/25744394@N04/2868791420/

We all make bad food choices from time to time.  No big deal right?  Enjoying food has mental health benefits as well.  Eating poorly becomes a problem when these food choices outweigh healthy alternatives.

Making bad food choices or eating too much is not only bad for your health, it can make you feel lethargic, guilty, depressed and when done for extended periods of time typically results in gained weight.  

Unfortunately eating poorly is a vicious cycle caused by a negative feedback loop.  Often times people eat to self medicate when they are feeling down.  They feel great for a few minutes while they eat their delicious treats, but then feel guilt afterwards, followed by lack of energy and reduced productivity.  

Eating healthy not only makes you have more energy, it also makes you look better, which makes you feel better about yourself.  Contrary to what the millions of fitness magazines out there will tell you, 90% of how you look is determined by what and how much food you put in your body, not how much time you spend running on a treadmill.  

Eat right, look great, and feel great.[7] [8]

Talking Poorly of Others

Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/8408916@N02/3095652924/

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.” ~Fran Lebowitz

Next time you go out, listen to what people talk about.  Are you spending your time gossiping or talking about other people.  Unhappy people get caught up talking about other people instead of talking about things such as ideas or current events.  

Unhappy people also have a tendency to judge others.  "Look what that idiot is doing!. "Can you believe what she is wearing".  If you catch yourself judging somebody you don't know, bite your tongue.  Trashing somebody else might make you feel better for a moment, but all you are doing is masking your insecurities by trying to put them beneath you.  Instead, try complimenting others, at first it might be hard, but it will make you feel good and will make you a much more desirable person to be around.

Holding Grudges

Holding a Grudge
Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/73645804@N00/3995778395/

Harbouring animosity towards somebody is like carrying around a backpack full of rocks.  You might not have a problem carrying it, but it is a load on your back, and life sure would be easier if you could just take it off.  Do yourself a favour, forgive.  This doesn't mean you need to become best buds with whomever has done you wrong, but come to terms with what has happened and understand that people make mistakes.  Forgiving will help free you of anxiety,  stress and depression and allow you to have happier relationships.

Free yourself of the hate, and move on.[4]

Stop Learning

Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/66548401@N00/4053097146/

“The moment you stop learning, you stop leading.” - Rick Warren

It isn't hard to become complacent in life.  You've spent so much time going to school to eventually get a job that education sometimes takes a backseat to life.  Learning doesn't need to be a chore.   Get out there and learn about something you are passionate about.  

Do you enjoy mexican food? Perfect!  Start reading about it and practice making five star restaurant quality mexican food.  Learning new things not only gives you things to talk about in social environments, it also helps improve your self worth, which leads to happiness.

Not Following Through

Couch Potato
Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/65894052@N00/3688993279/

It is easy to sit on the couch and make a list of things you want or plan to do.  Actually getting up off the couch and doing them takes a lot more energy.

Taking the first step is always the hardest part with any plan.  

Quit making excuses and walk the walk, nobody is going to do it for you.  

Want to go back to school? Pick up the phone and register.  

Want to lose 10 lbs? Get in your car and drive to the gym.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  

Quit letting the first step hold you back.

Hating Your Job

I hate my job
Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7811493@N07/6139274133/

Fact: Most people have to work to survive.

Fact: The average full time work week is 40 hours.  With two weeks vacation most people work 2000 hours per year.

If you are going to spend 2000 hours per year working, please make an attempt to like your job.  Since you will be spending 22.8% of your entire year (yes that includes sleeping hours) you better like what you are doing.  Now, before you jump to conclusions that you hate your job, think to yourself, "Do I really hate my job, or have i just complained about it to others so much that I think I do?".  

So many people love their job when they first start.  As time goes on, co-workers start to complain about things, and then you start to find little things that bother you, then soon enough everybody's complaining has amalgamated into this giant ball of hate.  Next thing you know you are blaming your job for your unhappiness.  If this is your situation, you can either A) Start telling yourself something you love about your job daily, and make sure you relay this to your co-workers in an attempt to learn to re-love your job or B) If it is too late, and the damage is done, move on to a similar job elsewhere and do everything you can to keep things positive from the get go.

In the event you genuinely hate your job and doing it another day is going to cause you endless grief, simply take the plunge; Quit and move on.  Being unhappy for close to a quarter or your life just isn't worth it.[10]

Loneliness (How you Choose to Socialize)

Computer Junky

One of the biggest causes of unhappiness is loneliness.  I'm not referring to being in an intimite relationship; having a significant other doesn't mean you won't be lonely.  Being lonely generally stems from lack of social stimulation.  

The technology age is definitely perpetuating this by means of text messaging, Facebook, Twitter and other 'Social Networks'.  People are so addicted to these forms of social technology that they forget humans require real genuine human interaction. Socially insecure people tend to gravitate to online socializing because they have more control over the amount and timing of their interactions.  Reducing face to face interactions tends to reduce social anxiety for introverted individuals. Unfortunately staying within your comfort zone, limits personal growth, and prevents the development of valuable face to face relationships.[11]

Don't have something to do tonight? Instead of commenting on everybody's Facebook statuses, give somebody a call and go out for a coffee, you would be surprised how much better it feels to talk to a real life physical human being.  

If you are single and feel like you need a significant other to be happy, I am going to be blunt,  YOU ARE WRONG.  You can't be in a healthy relationship until you are happy independent of a relationship.  

Using somebody else as a crutch for your happiness is a one way trip to an unhealthy relationship.  If you are struggling to find a companion, stop looking in bars and stop looking online.  Consider joining activity clubs for singles or participate in a group activity that encourages socializing.  You will meet like minded people who share more in common with you than booze or Facebook friends.  

If you really struggle with making friends, read Dale Carnegie's classic book "How to Win Friends and Influence People".  This book was written in 1937 and still stands true to this day. It will supply you with the tools needed to form amazing relationships.

Letting Negative Thoughts Enter Your Mind

The Human Mind
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I'm the first to admit to having suffered from allowing negative thoughts to take up valuable real estate in my brain.  Negative thoughts would enter my  mind and I would let them stick around.  They would sit there, fester and take control of my emotions and my happiness.  It got so bad,  I had to speek to my doctor about it to which he gave me the following advice. "When these thoughts enter your head, immediately think of something else.  You choose what you think about, and the longer you entertain a negative thought, the more it is going to stay in focus."

We are all human, and bad thoughts will enter our heads from time to time, but by being conscious of what you thinking about you can push them out of your head before they take you over.

Jumping to Conclusions

Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/43546149@N00/222403868/

Jumping to conclusions is a huge source of both unhappiness and anxiety for people.  Jumping to conclusions usually comes in one of two forms; Fortune telling and mind reading.

Fortune Telling is when a situation arises and you automatically predict that things are going to turn our poorly.  Because of this fortune telling, you often take yourself out of these situations, which for the most part would end in a great experience.  You lose out by having jumped to conclusions and predicting an unsatisfactory outcome.

Mind reading is when you automatically assume that others are negatively reacting to you or something you've done when there is no definite evidence.  This can and will make you feel like a victim and can result in unfounded resentment towards these imaginary reactions.[2]


Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/81691700@N00/3323718703/

Often times unhappy people have a tendency to blow small things out of proportion.  Take a step back before you deal with an issue and try to look at it objectively.  If you try to take yourself and your emotions out of the equation and think it through you will realize that you are making a big deal out of nothing.  If you still aren't sure, ask somebody you trust what they would do in this situation before losing sleep over it. [2]


Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/16316293@N00/4439307101/

The exact opposite of magnification is minimization.  Minimization is when you take real problems and instead of dealing with them, tell yourself they are insignificant.  Unfortunately you can only sweep your problems under the rug for so long before they explode.  People tend to ignore problems like debt, infidelity, and obesity amongst other things.  If this sounds like you, stop ignoring your ongoing problems; become actionable and take steps to fix them.  Much like grudges, you will feel much better once these problems have been resolved.[2]

Self Labelling

Self Labelling

How you talk to yourself can seriously affect your self image.  When you make a mistake, tell yourself "You made a mistake, next time you will do better".   Saying things like "You are an idiot", or "You are a piece of crap" does nothing but lower your self worth.  This might sound insignificant, but you need to believe in yourself to be happy, and calling yourself names prevents you from moving on after you've made a mistake.[2]

If you have this problem, there is an amazing book called Pyscho Cybernetics that can help you reprogram the way you talk to yourself.  It has sold over 30 million copies throughout it's life and has helped countless people.

Not Having a Goal

Crossing the finish line

One of the most exciting things in life is setting a goal and accomplishing it.  Happy people have a tendency to make both short and long term goals.  Short term goals give you mini accomplishments that build self confidence and keep you motivated for the big picture.  These goals can be related to anything that is important to you. Fitness, finance and hobby related goals are examples of goals you can set immediately.  Successful people are constantly setting and accomplishing goals.  

While lack of ambition has a tendency to lead to mediocracy and limited emotional satisfaction,  unhappy people often set goals too.  The problem with unhappy people's goals, is they tend to be unachievable. One study shows[12] that people suffering from depression often set goals that they are incapable of accomplishing  When these goals don't come to fruition, negative self reflection begins.  For this reason, incremental goals are extremely important to build self confidence and positive reinforcement for the goal setter.  

Start small, and build up steam, you are the only thing that stands in the way.

Worrying What Others Think

Worrying What Others Think

So many people spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to please others.  This generally stems from the insecurity that others are judging them.  People do their hair a certain way, dress a certain way, and act a certain way in an attempt to fit in.  All these things take so much energy yet in most circumstances the people you are friends with would like you regardless.  Stop doing things to impress other people and do things that make you happy. Go out with your hair a mess, wear a pair of torn up sweat pants in public and do it with a smile on your face.  Your friends will like you regardless and if you don't know somebody, why do you care what they think.

Let Strangers Affect Your Mood

Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/58571789@N00/5723898209/

The world is a scary place.  There are lots of pissed off people and many who want to drag you down to their level.  If somebody gives you the middle finger while driving, smile back at them and let them spend their energy being cranky. Don't let somebody else's bad day control the outcome of yours. If you have to deal with a grumpy person, kill them with kindness.  Often times your unfounded happiness will make them realize how big of a jerk they are being.

Obsessing Over Money

American Money
Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/28504195@N08/4230211347/

Money, everybody wants it, nobody seems to have enough of it; Or do they?  Most people think that if they had more money, their happiness would increase accordingly.  Unfortunately, much like "Waiting for the future" , the illusion that more money will solve all your problems and make you happy is nothing more than just that, an illusion. According to a Princeton University study, emotional well being  and happiness does rise with income, but only to an annual household income of $75,000. [1].  If your household income is already over $75,000 it might be time to reevaluate your happiness, more money is probably not going to make you that much happier.


Still stressed out? Here are 21 Ways to Relieve Stress and Anxiety.



Apr 15, 2013 4:28pm
I think you are right on the mark with this one. Now we all have 22 things to work on.
Apr 15, 2013 5:10pm
Thanks! I had a few other ideas, but I didn't want to make it a chore to read. Appreciate the comment.
Apr 15, 2013 4:31pm
Thanks for putting this list together, what a great reminder!
Apr 15, 2013 4:33pm
Nice article. One reason I left Facebook is because people were always complaining! They don't have anything better to do.
Apr 20, 2013 10:51pm
True, what you said about Facebook. Its makes people so unhappy about their own lives.
Apr 15, 2013 5:09pm
Hey I think we have a Buddah in blue Jeans working in admin ;-) Nice bit of C.B.T worked into the article too. Whole heartedly agree with pretty much all of this. The only thing I'm not sure about is pushing away negative thoughts, I find this is a bit like retail therapy scenario of instant diversion relief, meaning they can keep coming back... but if you acknowledge the thought kinda like making peace with it ...then they tend to go away. Thats just my thoughts...but really loved your article very much!
Apr 15, 2013 5:13pm
It really depends on what you are thinking about. If you are worrying about things outside of your control, there isn't anything you can do to fix the issue. If it is a problem with a feasible solution, setting out a game plan is the best way to nip it in the bud. Honestly,I was intending this more as a trick for reducing anxiety, not intended to minimize existing problems.
Apr 15, 2013 5:39pm
being critical of yourself is a bad habit many people have. You do need to stop and really monitor what you are thinking about, because you can get into the habit of self negative talk and not even realize it anymore. I got the same advice, to be aware of self talk and change it to something positive. It is hard at first but does get easier and it works! Great Article!
Apr 15, 2013 6:23pm
As a psychologist, I have talked about everyone of these topics in therapy with my clients. Maybe my co-workers too. LOL {yep, me too :( }
Apr 15, 2013 7:58pm
Most of this falls right in line with many Western Mystery Traditions as well. I think being conscious of our thoughts is the key. While there are many methods of dealing with and taking charge of what we discover in our heads, anxiety always starts with a thought.
Apr 15, 2013 9:35pm
Fabulous article! I retweeted it this evening. I hope that a lot of people read this ... because there are plenty of people who need it.
Apr 15, 2013 10:33pm
I think I should print this out for myself and family! We could all do with these reminders now and then. Being self aware and more conscious of what we think, say and do is something that we have to practice.
Apr 16, 2013 12:06am
Great article - well done.
Apr 16, 2013 2:56am
Great reminders - we actually DO have control over our own happiness. This is a truth too easily forgotten!
Apr 16, 2013 5:14am
Great article with 22 good points!

I read somewhere that being happy is a decision. You can decide to be happy or you can let yourself be miserable. It is a choice.
Apr 16, 2013 5:43am
What a magnificent article, Admin will probably agree with me when I say I have a lot of these habits. I've read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and this is a great article that has really made me think about my outlook in life!

Thank You - (I've been sharing this article like mad!)
Apr 16, 2013 7:45am
I particularly like the "waiting for something" habit -- so many of us are expecting to get happen "when...." but we can choose to create happiness in the now.
Apr 16, 2013 9:36am
I live my life with this credo "Happiness is a choice...I choose to be happy." It is not always easy, but it is something I strive for each and every day. Great article!
Apr 16, 2013 8:42pm
Great read. I'm so happy I signed in tonight and saw your thread. I'm sharing this social because I know many people who sit and read it.

Just under the picture there is a t in complainers.
Apr 16, 2013 9:48pm
FIxed! Thanks for pointing that out. No matter how many times you edit an article, things find a way to slip through the cracks.
Apr 16, 2013 9:16pm
So true. Your article is a good read. Thumbs up!
Apr 16, 2013 9:19pm
A nice post, it threw up a lot of questions for me. I'm not sure loneliness is a 'habit', though.
Apr 16, 2013 9:47pm
Good point. However the choices people make when they decide how to go about socializing impacts their loneliness. I've appended (How you Choose to Socialize) to that heading and have added a bit more information and a study.
Thanks for your feedback
Apr 17, 2013 2:27am
Great article, really made me think about how I see things in life.
Apr 17, 2013 7:27am
Great article! I think everyone who reads it will take something away from it! For me, what particularly resonated, was the section on Goals. After a certain point in life, after school is done, after your married, after you have raised your kids, after you have traveled etc, then what is it you are planning for and looking to accomplish? Loved it!
Apr 17, 2013 4:27pm
A great reminder! It is so easy to fall into unhappiness if we let even the smallest of these creep into our lives.
Apr 18, 2013 1:35am
Brilliant article. Indeed, it is all too easy to become a complainer. I agree with you that we have to focus on the positives in life and try not to worry too much. I am going to make a special effort to do this! Thanks for sharing your ideas.
Apr 20, 2013 9:54pm
I thought it was interesting how 'Not Following through' relates to unhappiness. Guess it's a defeatist mentality that can't belong to a very happy person in the first place. Very nice article!
Apr 20, 2013 10:56pm
I think every person on this planet who does not know why they are unhappy should read this. I am a happiness coach and a psychologist, and from my experience, everything that you have mentioned in this article is totally valid. (Especially in today's fast-forward lives)
I think writing is the best way to reach out to people and help them. A great reminder for us all. Understanding happiness and trying to stop pursuing it is the need of the hour.
Keep it up!
Sep 2, 2013 11:56am
Reading this article has made me very sad and depressed. It is so well written, in a refreshingly clear and flowing style, that I am envious. Just kidding (about being depressed)!
Sep 3, 2013 7:32pm
Very well put in easy to follow and understand steps. Keep up the good work, I voted up :)
Sep 12, 2013 5:04pm
Yeah, I'm all of these things (except bad food choices), but that's because everything I love is in California and I've been stuck in Texas for a year and will be until February. I'm not an unhappy person when I'm home.
Nov 7, 2013 10:05am
You are so right. This is a great article, with many great points being made.
Nov 18, 2013 9:04pm
Worrying about what others think about you could stop your life progress.
Feb 4, 2014 5:11pm
I can see why this article made #1. Great work.
Feb 6, 2014 10:24pm
As a person who believes in happiness, this is definitely true in all areas! :)
Feb 18, 2014 1:10am
Gonna forward this to a couple of less-than-happy people in my life. We can only hope they can decide that happiness is achievable! Very on point.
Feb 26, 2014 10:34am
Great article; thing is I don't think unhappy people (including myself) ignore why they are unhappy, most of us know what needs to be fixed but don't know how to fix it. Big things like not holding grudges, having a goal, socialization issues, not worrying about what others think are not easy to fix and most of us don't have the tools to fix them. Happiness is not something you decide, it's something that you have to work for, some of us need to work harder than others
Mar 18, 2014 8:42pm
Thanks for this article IBOriginals. I'm surely glad to be me, happy at least 95% of the time :-D
Mar 20, 2014 4:13pm
Some good points made in this article. However, with the point about 'holding grudges', I think it can help someone to try to forgive and move on if the person concerned receives an 'apology which is MEANT, and NOT just said for the sake of it' from the person who has upset/wronged them! I think that if you are in the wrong, and I think you really should know if you are in the wrong if you are are honest with yourself, then I think you SHOULD be willing to offer that apology and mean it! However, I don't think there is any need to apologise more than once providing you have meant it in the first place! Interesting, that Facebook was mentioned by one of the persons who replied to the above article: an ex-Facebook friend used Facebook to 'persistently' make fun of me, this indeed was the 'same' person who once phoned me seeking 'my shoulder to cry on' when he was feeling a little bit 'under the weather' with a viral infection, and the 'latest' of his 'short lived' relationships had gone wrong! And no, there wasn't even as much as an apology from that person!!!
Mar 30, 2014 5:00pm
Thank you for such a comprehensive list that touches on areas we've all encountered. I've worked at jobs I loved - yet the people around me were so negative, I had to move on. One thing that I notice (both in myself and some of my friends) is the difficulty in "cutting ties" with naysayers. It's important to accept that some people "grow together" and some "grow apart" - and that's okay. Sometimes family can hold us back too and we need to limit our interactions with them. I feel many unhappy people "get something" out of being unhappy (perhaps I've unknowingly rewarded them by listening to it - for too long). Love your advice to "kill them with kindness" when dealing with someone grumpy. Take good care, Rose
Apr 1, 2014 9:56am
I would be really interested to see the opposite written as well. Habits of Happy people
Apr 20, 2014 9:08pm
Very insightful. Don't think we can ever have all 22 of those working together at one time but they're certainly great aids to happiness. Especially liked your thoughts on liking your job. No job is perfect but if a job is distasteful to you something needs to give. I can't even imagine staying at a job that is as awful as some claim.
Thanks for all the points to work on...and I already thought I WAS happy. :)
Apr 25, 2014 12:09pm
There's absolutely NOTHING new or revelatory in the article. It's all self-evident and comes across like an extract from a New-Age self-help book penned by some dodgy guru.
Aug 27, 2014 5:13am
This article is good, and the author has good intentions, but we are all in a psychological trap and are unaware of it. Myself included. Doctors. Self-Help Gurus, a lot of people.......

I'm going to propose something radical to spare everyone who reads my post years and years of psychological struggle. Stop trying to be happy. Really. Live by your values and you will experience fulfillment and vitality, and accept the thoughts, feelings, memories,sensations and urges you have without trying to change them. Happiness is an emotion, it comes and goes. Don't waste time or energy on trying to control internal events. It doesn't work, think back on your own experience....check this out....Don't think about a polar bear once for the next 30 seconds....nothing about polar bears...of course you can't, you think about polar bears when that question is posed. Roses are red violets are........most likely you thought blue. Make the inside of your mouth numb for 30 seconds so you can't feel the inside of your mouth with your tongue......So, what's the point....The point is this...you're mind, emotions, sensations can hit you with negative effect at any moment based on any relational frame in your environment...remember Roses are Red, violets are???? So you are getting married today? Should be a happy day in life...oh, but you remember your father who passed away and couldn't be here today......The mind will get you every time because it evolved to scan environments and look for danger everywhere, and fighting it is exhausting, negative thoughts are normal, so are negative emotions, but we can deal with them more effectively by applying mindfulness techniques to our internal experiences, and stop trying to be happy and accept what is while living according to our values. This is the basis of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Nov 10, 2014 7:55pm
Compelling - You most surely got people talking, reflecting, and questioning their own (and other people's) behavior and habits...
Nov 12, 2014 6:17am
“The moment you stop learning, you stop leading.” - Rick Warren

I was willing to overlook the fact that there's no author name on this article, and even the fact that many of your examples make the mistake of assuming cause and effect, instead of correlation. But the moment you quote that homophobe, RICK WARREN, you prove yourself to be a hack. Rick Warren is not worthy of quoting; he's a zealot who has proven himself to think the LGBT community is beneath him. Would you quote a racist? If not, why quote Warren?
Apr 15, 2015 7:39am
Great article! I really enjoyed it and are great reminders to the many items I still need to work on. :-)
Apr 24, 2015 11:44pm
Brilliant set of tips for a happy life. Thanks for sharing.
Dec 28, 2015 2:19pm
Nice list, I appreciate your work. If there weren't so many grammatical errors in it I'd be more likely to share. I'd be glad to proof-read future articles you write.
Feb 1, 2016 11:41am
Great article, and I've seen every one of these doing their damage on different people
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