With the divorce rates soaring at 50%, it makes one wonder why anyone gets married at all. Thankfully, those who do get married prove to everyone else that there
is still a hint of hope in this small, decaying world that we live in. The reasons for divorce are countless, never-ending and seldom repeated from one relationship to the next. Many couples, even with soaring divorce rates, still cling to their marriage based on the embarrassment that divorce may bring or because of the struggles their kids would face while going through such a trying time. These people live in misery because "it’s better than divorce”, yet many people don’t seem to realize that there are ways to make the marriage work and to make the love whole again. The following are three of the many ways to re-establishing a working relationship or working out the kinks in one that needs a bit of repair.
Jump Start Your Marriage Step 1: Fall in love
Whether it's been two years or thirty, you are not the same as you were when you first got married. You need to learn to love the person that you wake up next to every morning, because that person is not the person you married. This step will be difficult to carry out, but it can be done in many ways. One example is to meet for dinner, instead of driving together. This will trick your brain into feeling those butterflies in your stomach again. Remember, you are meeting your spouse for the first time, which means they haven’t done anything wrong yet! Whether you are dining together, going to a movie or walking on the beach, treat this person like they are brand new. It's amazing how well we seem to treat strangers.
Jump Start Your Marriage Step 2: Dare I say it? HAVE SEX.
We all wish we were having more sex. Talk to your spouse, but do
not allow words like “bad sex life” to come out of your mouth! Let them know that you want to try something new, or be specific about something they did that truly satisfied you and ask them if they would be willing to do it again. Remember: they have medication for headaches and nothing is better to help you sleep than an orgasm. In the end, it doesn’t matter how you do it, just make your spouse feel wanted, loved
and satisfied. Think about your spouse’s needs and satisfying those sexual needs, they will appreciate it and crave it again and again.
The 3rd (but never last) Step to Jump-Starting
your Marriage: Work. Work Really Hard.
When was the last time you did something extra-special (without expecting sexual gratification) for your partner? If you can’t remember, it's been too long. If you followed step 1, you are armed with brand new ideas for gifts, romantic gestures and surprises for the love of your life: use them. Always aim to please your spouse, no matter how selfish you think they are, do it. It won’t take long for them to start wanting to do the same for you.
Forgive your other half for their thoughtlessness and move on from it and if it happens again, don’t bring out the list of past offences, talk about the current one; how it hurt you and how you plan to solve it. As you do this, you will understand why it’s called work. Give your partner room to breath once in a while, take the kids out of the house or him/her sleep in. Wake them up to the smell of their favorite breakfast. Allow them to know you as the best person you are capable of being, so that, when you argue, you’ll recover before she sends you to the couch!