Guys who have never dated much can fall into the trap of becoming their own worst enemy. You may not realize it, but all the thoughts that go through your head before you ask a woman out will have an influence in the response that you get. If you go into the process feeling negative about your chances then you will project negativity. Asking her for a date more confidently on the other hand will increase your chances because you will project confidence. Here are the top 5 thoughts that are stopping you from getting dates.
She Is Out Of My League
One of the most negative thoughts that you can have when asking a woman out is that she is out of your league. First of all how many women do you think walk around thinking that they are better than anyone else? The truth is that women are just like you, some are confident and some have insecurities about themselves. By saying that she is too good for you, you are putting her on a pedestal she probably does not want to be placed on. How much positivity do you think you are projecting if you are telling yourself that you are not good enough?
Have you ever seen a couple on the street that includes a beautiful woman and a guy you think is not that good-looking? The difference between you and that guy is that he had the courage to ask. You will not get a yes every time, but how will you know which girls could say yes if you do not ask. Maybe you think that women are shallow and though some of them are, the great majority of women want to meet someone who they can share a fun life with. She is only out of your league if you want her to be.
I Need A Plan Before I Ask Her Out
If you think that you need a plan before asking a girl out then you are over-thinking it. You are not really looking for a plan to talk to her; you are looking for an excuse not to face her. There are many things to talk about; all that you need to do is to look at your surroundings. You may want to have an ice-breaker line for when you need it, but you should not wait a few days to come up with one.
There is no such thing as a plan for talking to her because it is not as if you can predict everything that will be said in a conversation. Once you have started a conversation, let her talk and pay attention to what she is saying. That is where you will get most of the material for your conversation. You must learn to become engaging and not look for a plan because that can in fact make you sound robotic during a conversation. You do not have a plan? Good, because you are not supposed to.
It Is Not The Right Time
What do you mean it is not the right time to ask her for a date? Unless she is with a significant other (in which case you really should not even think about it) or one of you is bleeding profusely, this probably is as good a time as any. Once again, most of the guys who think that “now is not the right time” are simply procrastinating. Procrastination is bad because you are running the risk that while you man up someone else will ask her before you. Looking for another time to ask her out will sometimes leave you out in the cold without ever getting the courage to do so.
Start asking yourself “what will make the right time for talking to her about a possible date?” If you really think about it, then you will realize that you do not really know. The perfect time to start the conversation is when she is there and you are there. That is all you really need. Even if one of you seems busy you can break the ice and intrigue her enough so that when she has more time she will want to have that conversation then. Now is the right time, so do not wait.
She Is So Great
The “she is so great” line of thinking is very similar to thinking that she is out of your league, but you are not saying that you are not. The problem with going in thinking that she is so great or beautiful is that you are again putting her on a pedestal that she may not want to be on. You are also setting yourself up for nervousness and nervous guys cannot sound or feel confident. You need to see her as just another person you can talk to because that is how she feels about herself.
She may turn out to be a great person, but until you talk to her you do not really know what is in her mind, do you? One thing that you should know is that women do not like it when someone sees them as intimidating when they are single. Just like you they want to go on dates, but if most of the guys feel intimidated by her beauty, then the chances she will have at having a good love life will go down. She probably is a great person, but she is also a regular person just like you.
A look into your own mind will show that most of the time when you are giving yourself excuses not to talk to women you are only doing so due to insecurities. You do not need to come up with a plan for starting a conversation; instead you need to work a little more on your self-esteem and confidence. The way you seem to her is what will decide whether you have a chance with her or not. Forget everything that you have seen in the movies because there is always something about you that may be intriguing to her; you just need to look in the right place for it.