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50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - Finally, the Complete List!

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 2 5

Paul Only Gives Us 5 Ways -- Here are the Other 45

"There must be 50 ways to leave your lover," said the great singer/songwriter Paul Simon in his famous song of the same title.  However, he only provided five of the ways in his song. What about the other 45?  This article attempts to fill the gap.  If you are "in a struggle to be free," you've come to the right place.

Paul Simon


Here are the five ways to leave your lover, as provided by Paul Simon:
1. Slip out the back, Jack
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. Don't need to be coy, Roy
4. Hop on the bus, Gus
5. Drop off the key, Lee

Ok, if Paul is going to make them all rhyme, and make them all about a man leaving a woman, I guess the other 45 will need to follow suit.

Here we go:
6. Get a new home, Gerome
7. Get up and be gone, John
8. Throw in the towel, Powell
9. Get up and leave, Steve
10. Open the doorknob, Bob
11. Hop out the window sill, Phil
12. Give up the spark, Mark
13. Set her up with your pal, Al
14. Send a telegram, Sam
15. Why don't you text her, Dexter
16. Send her a tweet, Pete
17. Hop the fence, Spence
18. Cut yourself loose, Bruce
19. Say you don't need her, Peter
20. Hop on a train, Blain
21. Don't be a slave, Dave
22. Get a new date, Nate
23. Head out and go, Joe
24. You have to be mean, Dean
25. Tell her "no more," Thor

Ok, half way there!

26. Give her the juke, Luke
27. Get on your bike, Mike
28. Leave a note on the bed, Ted
29. Ride off on your scooter, Cooter
30. Skip off and be free, Tyree
31. Get on a plane, Dane
32. Write on her Facebook wall, Saul
33. Tell yet goodbye, Ry
34. Don't take any flack, Mack
35. You don't want to marry, Gary
36. Get out while you can, Dan
37. Run for the hill, Gill
38. Pack up you bag, Dag
39. Leave during the night, Dwight
40. Don't return her call, Jamal

Only ten more to go!

41. Don't be so nervous, Pervis
42. It's not a big deal, Neil
43. Just be frank, Hank
44. Don't need to hurry, Murray
45. Look her in the eye, Guy
46. Take the leap, Phillipe
47. It doesn't have to be messy, Jesse
48. Get her out of your bed, Fred
49. There's no more romance, Lance
50. You don't need to go on, Juan
Just set yourself free.

There you have it--50 ways to leave your lover!  Did I miss any?  Have a better one?  If so, leave it as a comment below.



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Comments

Sep 15, 2011 1:51pm
Lynsuz
Love Paul Simon and think your 50 ways is fab!!!
Sep 15, 2011 3:36pm
Serenity2010
lol, I love it!
Sep 15, 2011 5:57pm
vicdillinger
This was dumb and fun -- I like it!! ("Start wettin' the bed, Jed!!")
Sep 19, 2011 7:48am
TheOne
What a laugh. Thanks
Sep 19, 2011 11:18pm
marcel
Thanks everyone. I had fun with it. The first 25 come quickly and then they come one at a time slowwwwwly.
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