happy couple (31511)

Who wouldn't want to end up like the happy couple shown in my picture? And who wouldn't want to live happily ever after with a hot young Italian girl? Let's face it, they dress chic and have such a cute accent. While other European countries may have plenty to offer, Italy is ROMANTIC and the food is awesome. So the only question is: how do you land the Italian hottie?

First off it is important to know the difference between a real Italian and an Italian American. An Italian American might be some person like the Jersey Shore Reality TV kids, who lets face it, don't look like they've been to Italy lately. There's nothing wrong with dating an American, it's just different. For one thing, if you date a real Italian from Italy they may be more interested in getting married. My friend was able to marry a girl he barely knew just because she wanted to stay in this country and become a citizen. Something to consider. Some people are even willing to pay you to marry them so that they can become citizens. Not a bad idea in this economy. You could probably marry and divorce three or four times before INS started to investigate you.

But first you need to attract the hottie. What impresses Italian girls? Know a little Italian. Ciao! means see ya later, but you should do better than that. Get an audio tape and learn some phrases. No one expects you to be fluent. Most Europeans know English. It's the charm factor. Europeans are CHARMED when you make an effort to learn their language because, quite frankly, most Americans only know one language. What is the opposite of charming? When you say the same thing slower and LOUDER because the person you are speaking to does not speak English. Why do Americans do this? It is very annoying. If the person you are speaking to knows some English, then speaking slower and clearly may be helpful. But unless the person is deaf, speaking louder doesn't accomplish much.

Number two: dress well. What does it mean to dress well? It does not mean you have to spend a fortune, nor go designer crazy. It means wear clean, appropriate clothes that fit. You always look better in well fitting clothes. Chicks of all flavors like a man who dresses well. It makes an ugly guy look palatable and a handsome guy look smart. If you don't have clothes that fit well take them to a tailor or a seamstress. If you don't know what's appropriate wear neutral clothes. Don't do flashy unless you know what you're doing. My first husband used to wear two different color shows. He was a children's musician and it was a playful look. The shoes themselves were conservative in cut, but the effect was good. People remembered him. If you can pull something off like this, more power to you, but if you can't stick with plain black shoes.

Number three: be polite. Hot girls know they are hot, they can pick and choose. So make yourself stand out by acting classy. Women like to be treated well. Open the car door, tip well, take her nice places. Ask questions rather making demands. If you treat a woman well you will have a better chance than the "bad" boy no matter what you think. Treating a woman politely does NOT mean acting like a door mat. IT is not attractive to put up with stuff you find intolerable. Part of being polite means telling the truth. So don't attend a wedding if you'd rather be playing golf, politely decline.

Number four: brush your teeth, floss and quit smoking. Yup, you heard me, bad breath can not be covered by a few mints or chewing gum. In fact, gum can make bad breath worse. Besides, it's an ugly habit to see someone moving their jaw constantly like a cow chewing cud. Smoking ruins your clothes, smells bad and creates bad breath. Remember the old saying from the 80's: kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray? It's still true. Lots of Italian men smoke. In their country it's the norm. So if you want to impress an Italian girl, be different, DON'T smoke. Be the health conscious, buff strong American they are imagining from all the movies they have seen. Sterotypes will get you in the door, you can woo her with your personal traits later.

Last but not least, number five: drive a great car. Some of the best cars in the world are made in Italy, so don't blow it by showing up in a clunker!