A lot of guys really, really struggle when it comes to texting girls that they are attracted to. I know I used to really struggle with, and missed a lot of great opportunities with girls because of it. Let’s face it, everyone texts these days, and being able to maintain attraction with a girl is a great skill to have. There is no “right” way to text girls that you are attracted to, but here are 5 guidelines you should follow.
1. Be confident
Yes, you have heard this a million and a half times. Confidence is an attractive trait, and you can show your confidence in your texts without sounding arrogant. I like to use something called the “Brad Pitt” frame. If I am texting a girl I am building attraction with, I will glance over the text and ask myself, “would Brad Pitt text that?” Brad Pitt would only send texts that display his supreme confidence, and there is no reason you can’t do the same. Exude confidence in life, and show your confidence in your text messages as well.
2. Be assertive
This is key! That doesn’t mean you have to order her around, but saying “You should come to the bar and meet up with us” is better than “Do you want to come and meet up with us at the bar?” Make statements and not questions. Most girls like guys who can make decisions, so make it a habit to be assertive in your text messages.
3. Stay away from emoticons and “lol”
Consider what comes across as more attractive if you are a girl. “You looked cute last night :P J lol haha.” Or “You looked cute last night.” What comes across are more confident? The first message looks like something I would have told a girl over MSN chat in the sixth grade. The second one is direct, confident, and assertive. I’m not saying you can’t laugh or use any emoticons (I only use the wink, and sparingly), but it’s better to stay away from them.
4. Have fun
This is the most important tip. You can literally say anything you want over text, if you’re confident, assertive, and fun. I mean absolutely anything. When your texting, don't think “how am I going to attract this girl…” but rather “This is fun, I’m texting her to entertain myself.” Coming across as fun is huge and very important considering the last tip.
5. Set up a meeting
The whole point of texting girls you are attracted to is to set up a meeting. If you are texting just for the hell of it, stop. Text so you can get her to come hang out! But hey, if you want to stay in the friend-zone, feel free to keep texting her all day without meeting up.
Be confident, assertive, direct, and have fun in your texts. Remember the goal of your texting: to maintain attraction so you can meet up with her! Good luck, and happy texting.