Sick of watching your friends and family members pair off? Feeling like your best bet is to let the internet do all the work as usual by getting into online dating? A very good idea! It could be a bit challenging; there are various things which you would have to consider.
There's not just one single method of doing it, however, you could name a variety of good tactics you could try. Some tactics you may consider are easy and fast, while others are difficult and slow, so make sure you choose the right ones.
Many who have gone before you have set out to succeed at online dating. Through the successes and failures of people who have gone before, there are various lessons learned. Through supplying you with some of the finest information acquired through the experiences of others, here's some of the better tactics. Tactics that have historically worked and worked very well.
1. Honestly ask and answer yourself "What am I hoping to get out of this?"
There's only one person (hopefully) you're trying to please out of all this, so you'd better be sure you're not biting off more than you can chew. If you're looking for a more ephemeral bedfellow, that's just fine and dandy but you've got a better chance at scoring if you announce this up-front. There are certainly others whose goals run along the same lines as yours and you've already got a shared interest!
To maximize the main advantages of this you'll want to look as fit as possible. This can help make sure you score with someone worthy of your excellence! One study found that muscular men reported a higher than average number of partners compared with their flimsy counterparts.
Get outside as often as possible, and if it isn't, take up that gym membership you've neglected for the last few New Years' resolutions. The point is that your prospective one night stands are a lot more likely to become past one night stands if you catch them with the only aspect of you they're interested in: your appearance.
This goes for both men and women, here you have the advantage over those who the rest of this article is for. You're not trying to match up against those insurmountable obstacles like their trust-fund endowed high school crush, or their crushing daddy-issues. You're just looking to get it in, and by resembling their sexual fantasy as much as possible is only going to aid you in your cause.
2. Be Yourself
This usually works well since it's universally accepted after decades of marriage most couples grow to resemble each other. By being as open as you're comfortable with, you're more likely to encourage that level of ease and by extension, accessibility of your potential partner.
By showing who you are with as few filters as possible you're also creating a positive first impression of the time the two of you spend together. This first impression sets the stage for the remainder of your relationship, whether it be a few moments, months or a lifetime, to preserve that level of intimacy and comfort.
In hiding things from our potential partners we're setting a nasty pattern for most future interactions. Say you lied about your parents never divorcing, but they actually have. You're going to cringe every time divorce comes up and spend those conversations and indefinite future interactions worried they'll find out the truth.
3. Engage Those You're Interested In, Be Receptive of Those You're Not
It becomes an almost certain winner. One unexpected conversation can cause an entire afternoon or lonely evening to float by, at the end of which time you'll really learn what you were looking for all along: a surprise! When you spot someone you're potentially interested in, don't just ogle their photos twenty times a day.
Those little markings around their social profile? Those are words, and not just any words, but the words they've chosen to describe themselves to the world, including you.
Look for areas where you share similarities with them, don't be afraid to make some notes even, and thoughts will begin to form into coherent sentences eventually, that you can use to germinate a conversation. Now remember, all's fair in love and war, so if you don't get the response you were hoping for (or any response at all for that matter) don't let it get you down.
You're in this for real and nothing can get in your way but you. So much of what disappoints us in online dating is that there are few surprises, well good ones anyway. Sure you'll run into a disgruntled ex every now and again, or a peer you didn't realize was divorced, separated, or worse, cheating! But there are few great surprises as realizing you connected with someone you would have completely overlooked if they hadn't shared a part of themselves with you.
Patience and kindness can go a long way even in online dating, and if you don't end up with your soul mate from an unexpected conversation, at the very least you got some good practice in and a boost to your ego which is never a bad thing.
4. Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Using this you'll have to be careful about not going too far, as this can quickly escalate to full on self-deprecation. The idea here is to try to objectively check your most prevalent qualities for good and for bad, and see if what you see matches up with what you're looking for. Ask yourself, if I were him/her, would I go out with me? If your answer is yes, what are you waiting for? Get ahold of your dream match and make it happen!
For the rest of us, this is an eye-opening exercise for helping you ultimately make that extra stride they never told you about at University. Using the classic marketing principal, you're essentially creating a fictitious guy/girl who is the perfect match for your dream date. What's their name, what do they eat, what are they interested in, basically what is it about this fake person that the object of your affection finds them irresistible? You could probably fill at least a whole page with criteria.
Next the idea is to reduce dissimilarities between this fake person and you. Blur the line between you and the imaginary dream lover so that it makes perfect sense for your ideal date to go for you. This may take some effort, and you know what? It should. No one ever got anywhere by sitting on their rump and wishing the day away. While there isn't a one size fits all blueprint for finding your perfect mate, preparing for the day when you do is only going to help your cause that much more.
Don't be afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone in this respect either. You're going through all of this, presumably, because you need a change and aren't satisfied with your current status quo.
If you want your life to change you're probably going to have to do a little changing as well. Improving yourself whether it's physically or mentally, or otherwise, is going to reflect in your online persona. Which leads me to the next tactic....
5. What Does Your Online Dating Profile Say About You?
Social networking isn't some fly-by-night institution, and there are few newborns today who is not represented in various virtual arenas within the first few years of their lives. Most people involved in the online dating game today though have somewhat of an advantage. Your baby photos are no longer just a few keystrokes away, as your parents weren't online when you were a youngster.
Believe it or not you're more in control of your online persona than future generations likely will be. That control is a powerful tool to either build up or tear to shreds the impression you leave on those you wish to woo.
Create a mystique around your online persona, make sure to always leave them wanting more. Those overabundant selfies? Not so cute. The fifty pictures documenting that trip you and your friend took to the corner store? Unnecessary overexposure.
The online shelf-life is much shorter than nearly anything else and too many photos of simple or boring outings may leave that very impression of you. This goes for online dating sites as well as primary social-networking sites that have integrated into our lives so completely over the past ten years or so.
By giving the impression of someone who has fun, engages in interesting and enviable activities, and editing images that capture you when you're less than at your best, you arm yourself with that upper hand, the benefits of which you can reap literally at any time, indefinitely. How's that for certainty?
This will also help you with making friends and not sabotaging the impression others may have of you from afar.
There's nothing guaranteed, of course. But in most cases, when you follow the tactics above and follow them in their spirit and by their letter, the likelihood of your own good results, that you would really succeed at online dating will certainly be significantly greater than they might have been otherwise.
1.Frederick, David A., and Martie G. Haselton. "Why is muscularity sexy? Tests of the fitness indicator hypothesis." Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin33.8 (2007): 1167-1183.