Grammar Freak  

If you want to irritate someone, you can turn yourself into a grammar freak. You listen carefully to whatever  someone has to say and try to correct every single mistake (even when it is not a mistake). It can be fun to do but you will not win a gold medal for your endeavors. There are a lot of mistakes people make when speaking that you can correct. For example, when someone uses "that" instead of "who". That is a good candidate for correction. You can also do this when you are replying to emails. If someone sends you an email asking how you are and how is your health. Look for errors in the email and highlight them in "red". Most peopel tend to write "your" when they actually mean "you're". People will really hate you and wish that you by-pass the gates of heaven and go straight to hell when you die. If you don't believe in a hot summer vacation in hell, you will likely not be bothered by their remarks. Just make sure they understand you are only trying to help (right!).


Smack your Lips

This is a rather strange thing to do but if you want to irritate and really annoy others, try to make really loud noise when you are eating with others. To make it worse, try to talk with your mouth open (make sure others see the content of your mouth). This will definitely put people off their meals and they will be really offended. You will likely be sent back to the toilet where you can eat alone and not gross them out. Another thing related to this is sipping a hot cup of tea of coffee really loud. When people give you a funky look, tell them it is very hot as if they haven't noticed.  It can be also fun to eat your soup with your spoon hitting the bowl as if you've got something against it. In order to pull this off, you need to have the best innocent look on your face. Someone might one day smash your face into the plate just to get back at you. That is part of the deal!


Talk to my Chest

If you notice someone (a woman) with ample bosom that obviously wants to show off by wearing a low cut dress, you can try to talk to her chest. She will be really mad at you for being a pervert but you can reply by saying, "I thought your brain was behind those". If you are crazy enough to try this, just make sure her boyfriend or husband doesn't know kung-fu, otherwise, you will be needing medical care. Even Obamacare would'nt touch you with a 2 feet pole (no care for pre-existing mental condition). There are a lot of bad ideas and this should be on the list. Nevertheless, it can be really annoying.


Back Sit Driver

You need to only do this if you don't know how to drive because it will make it even more unbearable. You just need to be an idiot or a complete moron to pull this off. Wait till everthing is quiet in the car and all of a sudden, scream, "Watch Out"! This will scare the hell out of everyone and most importantly the driver (if you don't get everyone killed). If they want to know why you lost your mind, telll them you thought the car was about to slam into another. You can also tell the driver to slow down, use the side mirrors a little bit more, pay more attention to the road, stop changing lanes, use both hands when driving, etc.  Remember, you aim is not "road safety". You want the driver to snap and throw you out of the car. When you are doing this, make sure you are not in the middle of the desert. You might not live to tell the story.


Crazy Family Doctor

You only do this to family and people you really know well. If anyone is sick, you will try to annoy them by trying to diagnose their illness. For example, if someone is complaining of a headache, you can diagnose a brain tumor. It is not funny but you will achieve what you want. You will be hated! If someone in the family is feeling too tired, you can diagnose an unset of multiple sclerosis. If you don't know what to say, invent a medical word like Masectomialgia. You don't know what it means and neither do your family members. However, it will definitely describe any medical condition that someone might have. If you proceed for a long with your crazy antics, you might end up being section in a mental instituition for Crazirectomy.


When Are You Going To....

This one is a one size fits all. If you one to really annoy anyone, you need to start your question as follows, "when are you going to...?" If you know of a couple with marital problems, you may say, when are you going to get a divorce? If it is a single person, when are you going to get married? Another one for a single women is, when are you going to stop dating losers? The list is long and endless but you will get a lot of bad looks and "mind your own business". Some might even take it a little further and slap you in the face for being and idiot.


These are really bad ideas but if you've got nothing better to do with your time, you can actually combine a few of these to really annoy others. The secret as always is to keep a straight innocent face and see how far you can push the button. You will be called a lot of interesting name like the "Ace" with a "Hole" but you already know that, soit will not be a surprise. Human nature is rather strange and what some people might find amusing will be really annoying to others. Spending your time annoying people is not the best way to have fun. That said, others might actually have fun watching you irritate others. Like in any battle, you need to know how far you can go before someone decides to re-arrange your face.