Living a Fast Car Lifestyle While Avoiding Cops
Second place is just the first place loser – Dale Earnhard
Driving fast is awesome and it isn’t just something race car drivers and idiot high school kids do. Driving fast is a way of life for many people. A quick burst of speed after a long day at a boring job makes everything better. However, sometimes driving too fast can get you into trouble. Tickets drive people crazy. “No officer, I don’t know how fast I was going.” Have you said that after the flashing lights pop up behind you and give you a heart attack? Driving fast is awesome but the unfortunate consequences are not so awesome. How can you avoid tickets without breaking your fast car lifestyle?
Go 10 mph Over as a Rule
Knowing the threshold when cops turn on the flashing lights can mean the difference between an indifferent cop and a hungry cop. By increasing your speed from 10 mph over the limit to 15 mph within city limits increases the likelihood of acquiring a ticket by 10 fold. Going 10 over is the buffer zone and should be followed in most circumstances. A note of caution: Going more than 5 mph over in a 25mph residential area is the fastest you should go. And never speed in a school zone. Cops can hide around any corner and angry parents will report speeding in the area.
Enjoy the Acceleration
Cops will not pull you over for accelerating too fast. If the speed limit is 60 mph and the stoplight just turned green, use your lead foot to facilitate every last horsepower available to leave all other cars in the dust. Remember rule number one. After speeding up to 10mph over, remember to keep the speed constant and laugh as others pass you and get pulled over.
Follow and Encourage the Herd
On the plains in the Serengeti, zebras are safest from lions when they are in a herd. A lone zebra is in danger and will easily fall victim to a lioness. While in the herd, most of the zebras survive, but some do get eaten: the young, wounded or stupid. This applies today. Cops pull over teenagers (the young), pull over those with taillight issues or a damaged car (the wounded), and those who speed recklessly and take unnecessary risks (the stupid.)
Now for those who hate rule number one (do not go 10 mph over), the herd rule gives you the chance to go maybe 20 mph over. Use the far left hand lane on the freeway and either match everyone else’s speed or slowly and gradually speed up little by little, encouraging others to do the same. If the surrounding drivers will not join in, do not go 15 mph over just because you are frustrated. Pass the cars and continue to the next group and so forth. Fast drivers like yourself are out there and, if they feel competitive, they will join in with you. Soon many other drivers will also be going 15-20 mph over. The other drivers are just scared and need to be shown the way.
Be Wary of Hills and Off-Ramps
Cops can hide anywhere. The most popular hiding places are on the other sides of hills, behind trees, or in parking lots. It’s a good idea to take your foot off the gas as you near a hill or blind turn. This usually isn’t necessary if you are following the herd.
Know Thy City
Some cities have very strict speeding rules. I once lived near a small town where the cops would wait at the bottom of hills and behind haystacks and pull drivers over for going just 1 mph over. If you are traveling to a new area, gather information from the internet to get a feel for the laws and police in that area. However, in most cases the 10mph rule is the best rule to follow.
Tailgating causes a third of all accidents. It is one of the best ways to ruin your day. If you are tailgating a larger truck and the truck slams on its brakes because the cars in front of him also slammed on their brakes, the outcome could be disastrous for you. You might be left with your car totaled, while the truck will barely have a dented bumper. Speeding is awesome, but must be done correctly. Don’t tailgate; it isn’t worth wrecking your car. Be patient and wait for the window of opportunity to pass the slow truck. Shaving one minute off your time isn’t worth the chance of wrecking your pride and joy.
Remember: safely, but constantly, go 10 mph over the speed limit; accelerate like there’s no tomorrow; go even faster when the herd is also going fast; beware of hills; know thy city; and never tailgate. Rev your engines and let the race begin.
“If everything seems to be in control, you’re not going fast enough” - Mario Andretti