Selfishness in people is no less than a toxic substance; it’s blighting effect goes past its domicile towards the recipient. It has the capability to destroy a relationship that has been for many years. However, many seem to overlook the unseemly capability of this thing called selfishness. Some others don’t even know the signs that differentiate them from others. Here, I enumerate some of the characteristics of selfish persons so we can keep ourselves off the hook when we know their character. Here they are:
1. Selfish People Think Others are Responsible for Them
They are bent on thinking others are responsible for their needs. They store up this wrong information about themselves in relation to people, and relate with people based on that wrong notion that they fabricated mentally. This can be very harmful because it destroys the bliss and oneness in relationships. Imagine a scenario between a selfish man and his spouse; where the man thinks it’s his spouse’s responsibility to do or give something, and incompatibly, the woman thinks it’s her husband’s responsibility to do or give that same thing. It wouldn’t be hard to predict a cacophony in such a relationship because they have conflicting opinions that can as well result into a break up.
2. Selfish People Seek to Hurt Others
These are the kind of people reel in the littlest opportunity they have to hurt someone. They have a general belief that their ability to take advantage of others validates their strength. So they try to build a feeling of self worth and self confidence based on that belief. Interestingly, they can be so hurtful because they have no sense of pity for others due to their inability to see the need in others more than in themselves.
3. Selfish People Have a Critical Spirit
They inherently have a critical attitude towards others. This is because, due to the wrong notion they firmly believe as right—the notion that people have a responsibility to always 'give them first'—seem to never find fulfillment because people just seem to always contradict this belief. So they put up a bellicose and critical attitude towards anyone who tries to defy that ‘rule’ that’s just confabulated and turned into a reality. This antithesis to their belief makes them become critical of people deeming them as people below the standards.
4. Selfish People are Predominantly Fearful
They are predominantly fearful because they’re always self-conscious. They focus on themselves so much that begins to see their flaws and inadequacies. They’re so self-conscious that if you begin to laugh around them, they would readily think you’re laughing at them. They’re never stable in their social life because they just have no good picture of themselves to pull out, and even the notion they hold always proves wrong and outlandish so they just seem to always be in this enigmatic world where everything going on around them is strange or eccentric and so they feel displaced emotionally in this lonely world. They’re so self-centered and self-conscious that they think anything people do is primarily to hurt them because they’re ‘weak.’ Really, they see themselves as weak and thus force themselves into believing others see them weak, too.
5. Selfish People are Unforgiving
They are the ones that find it most difficult to forgive wrongs done against them. They feel, by not forgiving others, they’re being strong and tough fellows, where in fact it takes more strength of heart to forgive than it is to remain hostile. Due to their inherent potential to be self conscious, they see themselves, mostly, as being taken advantage of by people so they turn up their unforgiving potential as a vindictive measure.
6. Selfish People are Cynical
For a selfish person, trust is a no-no. He thinks the world is out there to take advantage of their weakness due to the negative outlook they have about themselves in relation to others. So he’s always on the lookout for the next fellow who wants to play mind games with him or trying to swindle him. They’re never optimistic; they just find it hard to trust others. Although, this might seem like prudence; but when you imbibe such opinion so much that you believe the whole world is out against you, this ‘prudence’ cannot just be a benefit.
7. Selfish People are Ungrateful
These people find it hard to have a thankful attitude. They think others have a responsibility to always cater for their emotional needs so when someone seems to pander with this mental fantasy by helping them, they say, “after all, he’s just doing his responsibility.” Thus, they’re numb to the fact that the help they get is not a responsibility but a privilege.