If you’ve ever been a relationship with someone you felt madly enough over you will know exactly what the honeymoon period is all about. The term ‘honeymoon’ is usually applied to the vacation newlyweds take after the wedding ceremony however it is also used to describe couples who are madly in love with one another in the early stages of dating.
During the honeymoon phase everything seems like a fairy tale, passions run high, nothing seems to bother you, and you feel like spending every waking moment with your lover. Life seems perfect however like all fairy tales they must come to an end.
When Passion Fades
The real issue arises when the passions begin to fade where your fantasy world begins to fall from grace and back into reality. Passionate kisses turn to pecks on the cheek, 'I love you's become as common as goodbyes and intimacy becomes nothing more than an occasion rather than expression.
Like a burning flame in the wind our passions towards our significant other can slowly dwindle over time. Since passion is the underlying lifeblood of the honeymoon phase, let’s look at ways to extend the passion curve and maximize its longevity – reignite the flames and bring new life into an otherwise lifeless and passionless relationship.
8 Ways to Invite Long-Lasting Passion
1, Slow Down
One of the biggest mistakes couples do during the honeymoon period is trying to do everything straight away. Sure you feel like they mean everything to you and they deserve only the best, but what happens after you give them the world? How will you out do yourself again down the track?
Slowing down means making each moment count - learning to savor and appreciate each fleeting moment, taking smaller steps instead of jumping to grand displays of affection, and learning to miss each other.
2. Have More Alone Time
Similar to slowing down is having time apart. The easiest things to take for granted are often the constant things in life; the things that are right in front of us all the time like our family, friends and lovers. When the ones we care about the most become so ingrained in our daily life we tend to forget what it means to have them in the first place.
Having time apart from your loved ones will not only rekindle the flame that you originally felt during the honeymoon phase, it will make your passions overflow and strengthen the bond between you two.
3. Remove Passion Killers
Passion killers are like viruses. In the beginning they might be overlooked or ignored, however with time they can spread and grow out of control. Eventually the virus destroys the underlying passion and before you know it the relationship is over. Thankfully viruses are easily removed if you address them early on.
Passion killers are those habits, flaws and other idiosyncrasies in your lover that create annoyances within you, that can possibly compromise the relationship after the blinding effect of the honeymoon phase has worn off.
The key to removing passion killers is acceptance – once you accept a person for who they are, there’s no underlying need to waste valuable time and energy trying to remove these annoyances/discrepancies or change them. Simply accepting them can often be a more effective strategy than trying to change them.
4. Do Things Together Socially
The honeymoon period is often characterized by intense periods of couple time – where both your objectives are to spend as much time together as humanly possible. The problem with this is that you detach yourself from reality. Everything around you gets neglected, such as your friends, family, career, social life etc. With neglect, problems will start to arise which will eventually put strain on the relationship
The solution is learning to integrate you and your lover with the rest of your life – instead of neglecting it. Start bringing your lover along to social events and family gatherings and see how opening up your love bubble actually expands and strengthens it over time.
5. Add The Secret Ingredient: Mystery
Like all great magicians mystery is what keeps magic alive – if you found out exactly how the trick was performed all mystery is vanquished and the alluring nature of the art becomes nothing but smoke and mirrors.
Adding mystery to a relationship simply means not showing all your cards at once. Sometimes it’s better to let information about you come out naturally instead of divulging everything about you early on (the only exception is withholding something that could damage the future of the relationship). It's the mystery and unpredictability in a relationship that keeps it exciting and passionate for the years to come after the honeymoon phase. Take them on a lifetime of discovery and adventure by adding the secret ingredient, mystery.
6. Show Gratitude
No relationship will ever survive without a two-way exchange of gratitude. As soon as one side feels taken for granted or undervalued, the relationship will start to deteriorate.
Everyone is different when it comes to showing gratitude, whether it's through verbal, material gifts, time, physical touch, or acts of appreciation (Languages of love). Irrespective of how you show gratitude it is vital that both sides of a relationship express it not only during the honeymoon phase but throughout the entirety of the relationship.
Gratitude is like the cement that keeps the foundations of a relationship together. Gratitude can be expressed through a simple thank you or a hug so never underestimate how powerful or important gratitude can be.
7. Add Spices: Spontaneity and Variety
On average the honeymoon period (for newly wed couples) last about two years. During this time everything is new and exciting. As things become mundane and routine the passion begins to dwindle.
One of the best ways to reignite passion is to spice things up. The key spices spontaneity and variety will rekindle those intense emotions you felt during the honeymoon phase in no time.
Spice things up by first opening your mind and awakening the spark inside you and your lover by trying new things. Do whatever you can to break routine and feel alive again. Go on a spontaneous get away, do extreme sports together, or learn a new skill. Do whatever that can bring out your zest for life and love. It's all about being creative and adventurous. You will be surprised at how much a change can do to your relationship.
8. Get Intimate
Studies show that couples who are intimately involved more often lead more successful and happier relationships. On the other hand couples who lost their passion for one another will suffer from the disconnect that comes from a reduction in intimacy.
Intimacy can be anything from physical expressions to spiritual connections. The key is to get close as possible in a variety of ways. Be open minded and explore each other sexually, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. The more you are able to get intimate on different levels and depths, the more long-lasting passion you invite into your relationship.
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A Way of Life
The honeymoon period should not be just a fleeting phase in a relationship. It should a philosophy, a way of life with you and your lover that extends beyond the confines of your 'fairytale'. It’s about finding new ways to explore the depths of each others' soul and appreciating your lover for who they are. It's about making the most of the moments together and making each other the best possible version of each other.
So invite more passion in your life and make your relationship one long honeymoon. It will be the best thing that ever happened to you and your lover.
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