Really, which ones are your friends?
Can you imagine a scenario where a person caused the most devastating thing you had ever experienced? Worse off, it was a person you thought to be your friend. Honestly, there is no greater cruelty than that. It would be very nice to know those to call friends and be sure that they are really friends.
It is well said that no man’s mind can be totally predicted, but what in nature can be totally predicted? Even in the most unpredictable situations, there is always a sign of familiarity in the outcome of events. The same happens when you have people around you that you call friends. There are ways you can fish out which are real friends and which aren’t. The following familiar traits can be used to know if those friends of yours are truly friends.
1. Real Friends are never always nice:
Yes you read it right, they are never always nice. Anyone who is always nice to you is not a friend. I’ve not said that they are enemies, but they are not your friends. When someone is always nice to you even when you are obviously wrong in something you have done, it probably because they want to get something off you and don’t care one bit if you lose a good character. This is a clear case of patronizing and you don’t want any of that. It’s a clear sign of dishonesty. A true friend scolds you there and then.
2. Real Friends never report you to others before they tell it to your face.
It’s no news that friends get into misunderstandings. It is however also common for those friends to resolve such amongst themselves. When a friend goes ahead to report you to others of something you probably did wrong, well, that’s not so friendly now, is it? A friend is supposed to be an entrusted person who wouldn’t do anything to hurt you or smear your image before others. In stead, they’ll scold you because they like you for more than that little err of yours.
3. Real friends share to the barest minimum.
Do you have a friend who never has enough to give you anything? There is always some reason why they can’t share. Honestly, a friend who can’t share is a friend who doesn’t care. It’s not in the ability to share that you know a friend but in their willingness to do so.
4. Real Friends are always around
It doesn’t matter if they’re on vacation to some faraway land, or they are on a road trip with their family. Amidst all that they do, they remember to give you a call. Real friends would checkup on you as often as they can afford. They acknowledge your every request even when it’s inconvenient and no matter what happens, they still wanna stick around.
5. Real friends always take your side
There are times when you messed up and you find yourself in a fight, real friends stand firm with you and never take the opposing side. They find a way to get you out of the mess but scold you later. It doesn’t matter how messy it gets, they will go all in with you till you get out of it.
6. Real friends are conscious of you even when you’re not here
There is a call to assembly in the school gym and you really had to go ease yourself. A real friend will never forget to leave you a seat. They always remember you in most bizarre moments and think of you when you even aren’t mentioned in the matter. They help you cover roasters, never assume you have gone until they have checked up on you and even remember to seek your permission before doing anything that relates to you.
7. Real friends never backbite you
I’ve experienced where two supposed friends get in a feud and totally went separate ways for a while. In the times they were apart, one of them kept spilling awful things about the other to anyone who cared to listen. A real friend would never do that. Even if you guys went mad and said cruel things at each other, it all stays between each other.
8. Real friends always apologize
It is OK to get upset sometimes. It is Ok for our friends to prick us once or twice. But it’s never OK for them not to apologize. A real friend will never tell you that they assumed you knew they were sorry. That’s totally a dumb excuse. It’s like saying you assumed I ate breakfast while you were eating yours and that’s why you didn’t ask me to join you. Doh!! that’s so selfish. Real friends are sensitive to your feelings too. It’s never about them but either about you or about the both of you.
9. Real Friends remember dates
As irrelevant as that sounds, it means a lot if my friend were to remember the day I got stung by a scorpion. An anniversary could never go by a good a real friend. If they happen to miss a date, they are always sorry for it in a way you’d know they really are. A friend that remembers dates does have you in mind. Out of sight, they say is out of mind. I doubt if it applies to a friend who remembers dates.
Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated but who wants to be loved by a beast that quickly turns from being a friend to a foe when hunger strikes. Do take care to keep healthy friends. Any friend who shows the opposite of the traits above is definitely a friend to keep at arms length