How to Conquer Low Self Esteem?
Accepting Your Self: The first important thing we should all keep in mind is that we are only human, which means none of us can be perfect in all of life's areas, and each of us has a lack of self esteem in different areas in life. So, we should not think in a perfectionist way, we can not do everything perfect. We have to understand that the right thing to do is to accept who and what we are, and to trust our abilities to control different areas in our lives. Of course that can not be unconditionally, because if we want to be better people we should acknowledge our weaknesses and try to improve as much as we can.
As an example, you might be good at your studies or work, but you're not good in dealing with people. Or you might be good at both, but you are not good when it comes to taking care of your children, or your looks, or even your health. So, you should try your best to better your weak points, but what you can not make better, just accept it and think of your good points and how to present it to the world, and make it work for your success and achieving your goals in life.
As another example, if you are not No. 1 in your line of work, do not feel as a failure, instead just try to improve your abilities and qualifications to be better, and while you are growing these areas learn to accept what you are today.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: If you do that, it is a sure-fire way to feel bad about yourself, because of course you will find at least one good thing in every person you deal with that you do not have. Instead just think that you also have good characteristics that many people do not have, and that you can succeed in some areas where they can not. So, life is really fair but we've got to believe that to be happy and content.
Also, realize that everybody in different and that is the nature of things, so do not try to be someone else.
Value your own needs: You have your own needs in life, which are different from other people's needs. Ask yourself what you value most in life, is it your family? Your freedom? Your career? And you should value these needs and seek to satisfy them no matter if that meets people's approval or not, as long as you are not hurting anyone.
Value Your Self: One way to raise your self esteem is to recognize your strengths and skills, apply them, and really enjoy your success in any area that you have talents to win challenges, because your attitude towards your self is very important.
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." Ford
Be Independent: Do not depend on the approval of others to feel good about your self, and do not think and feel that you have to conform to be accepted, because you'll not achieve anything this way. People could have many reasons for criticizing you, trying to put you down, or make little of any achievement you reach.
High Self Esteem can never be given to us, we must earn it for ourselves. So, instead of looking for people's approval, try to develop your personal standards and values, be confident about your abilities and motivations to get what you want and to feel good about your self.
Approach New Experiences: Take the situations you face and the opportunities that come to you as a way to learn new things, acquire new skills. Doing so can increase your self esteem and personal growth.
Look for things that you wanted to do for sometime but did not have the motive or the courage to do it. Just start and keep going, do not stop.
"What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve" - Napoleon Hill
Cope with Failure and Rejection: Both failure and rejection are painful and they usually leave an unbearable effect on our self-esteem. But you should keep in your mind that it is ok to not always be perfect or do things right. Having high self esteem does not mean that you'll succeed at everything, but trying and failing is better than not trying at all. It all depends on your feelings and your way of evaluating yourself.
"The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure." Eriksson
Energize Your Self: You need to energize your self by setting goals and thinking of achieving your dreams (within reason of course). That will help energize you and increasing your faith in your self worth and capabilities.
You can do this by evaluating your life and deciding what you want to change or make better, and what can make you happier. You can ask your self how to make your life more stimulating? More fun? More challenging? Or less stressful?
Set goals you can reach: Setting very high goals to reach will not get you any where, instead you should set reasonable and practical goals to achieve, because when you achieve it you will feel good about yourself and that will raise your self esteem and make you able to reach for more goals in life.
Find Balance: Try to find balance in the different areas of your life, because if you do not control your life's balance, usually one or two areas will dominate your life, time, and energy, leaving other areas in your life ignored.
Acknowledge The Past: Childhood experiences are the first things that form our self esteem. The parents dealing with a child in a negative way like belittling him or overprotecting him can give him a felling of low self esteem by believing that he does not have the ability to succeed in anything independently.
Life is not fair, that is a fact, so it is not right to dwell upon the past or the fairness of the past events that happened in our lives, because we can never change what happened.
One more point to always remember in this area is that you are not the only one who had faced unfairness, we all had at one time or another in our lives, but we can only let go of the past and move forward.
A Guide To Conquer Low Self Esteem - Part 3
How to Conquer Low Self Esteem?