A Path to Recreate the Positive in your Life…Starting Today!
Adages, Axioms and Answers
By: J. Marlando
Certainly there are exceptions but there are a whole lot of people who have most basically lost their zest for life and living it. Maybe they have had their heart broken by someone they care deeply about. Maybe they feel they’ve never gotten a break or that no matter how hard they work or try, they just can’t get ahead. The world after all can be a callous place especially during hard times. You know the old saying, it never rains but it pours.
Unless things are really bad, the population of people I’m speaking of tend to go to work, come home and do things like go out to dinner or to a movie; maybe lounge out on the patio if they have one and to the outside world look as normal and as normally happy as the next person. But inside this type of person I’m speaking of is not very happy at all, he or she is simply conscientious enough to “play the role” and get through one day to the next.
One of the major reasons some people like this remain secretly unhappy is simply because they want more than they have. Well, this is a natural frustration especially in our Western culture since the momentum of capitalism has a competitive nature: No matter how bad we have it or how good, we will always discover people who have it worse or better—you probably also know the old metaphor that tells us, I felt bad because I had no shoes but then I saw a person with no feet.
We all know the implication of this and as adults understand exactly what the message is but…we never the less want what we want when we want it and when we don’t get it or can’t have it, we feel deprived and fall into a kind of existential depression, How can God, if there is a God, stand by and watch me lose my credit cards?
In regard to the above, if most of us actually sit down and ask ourselves why our lives have turned out to be so lousy, it is almost for certain the answer is looking back at you in the mirror. We are, after all, victims or victors of our own choices.
And with this in mind, we will start our quest to make positive changes and return love, purpose and passion in our lives.
As long as were repeating old sayings, you will recall that great old adage that tells us every ending is a new beginning. This is the start of your recovery from whatever level of despair you’re at. Have you just lost your true love, your job, your home, your money, your golf club membership? No matter what you have lost, you are at the starting gate; there’s a new adventure waiting for you. Forget the “yea buts” and decide—DECIDE—to get on with it.
Is life looking dull to you…same old seven and six? Does your married life feel like it is a tread mill existence…does your job seem routinely boring…does watching television seem more like a sentence than an entertainment? Well, just remember that other old saying, wake up and smell the roses. That’s right, get off your behind and go outside, take a deep breath of fresh air and dare to look at the world with a simple gladness to be alive. I kid you not, take off your shoes and socks and walk barefoot in the park or on your own front lawn, howl to the moon, “I love you.” Permit yourself to go a little wild remembering the words of Mark Twain “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
Passion is a personal condition and not anything that has to be validated by anyone else. If you like to dance through the tulips…dance! If your passion is to paint, paint…and if you don’t feel like doing something… don’t! Remember there’s another great old saying to live by, “if it feels good, do it.” (Just as long as it doesn’t hurt or coerce anybody else)!
A lot of people feel (or think) that there is no meaning in life. You know, life to them is just a big blob of nothingness or, in other words a “ho-hum” existence. Their problem is that they simply don’t love enough. If you feel that life is a meaningless, boring experience take a walk today and say silently to yourself “I love you” to everything you pass and to every passerby too. By the time you get back home the whole world will have lit up in meaning. Just remember, you’ll never know if it works or not until you try it.
Happiness, as so many people believe, is not the mere absence of unhappiness. There are two secrets of true happiness: The first is as someone once said, don’t let your victories go to your head, or you failures go to your heart. And the second challenge is to never judge yourself by others or others by yourself. Never!
Reba McEntire the country singer gives us the metaphors to live by. She says, to succeed we all need a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone. You can have just about all the money and fame in the world but if you don’t have those three essentials in your personality, you’ll never truly be a success.
Success is just like happiness—you can’t judge it by what somebody else has or doesn’t have. In fact, you can’t even judge it by how much or little you have since real success is a principle and not a possession.
PEACE of MIND
The wisdom to achieve and maintain peace of mind arrives from a poem my own mother repeated to me before I set out in the world to be on my own:
And always paddle
Your own canoe.
If you only follow this advice you will live a life of self-esteem and self-reliance the two essentials for walking your path in harmony which is what peace of mind is.
Many people yearn to find the work they love, the recreation they love and the special mate that they will love forever. They do not understand that no one has ever found these things as there is none that is consistently lovable: All work becomes frustrating and demanding from time to time, all recreation can become habitual and tiring and, as far as a forever mate, since we are all imperfect and mood motivated they too will sometimes seem more like strangers than lovers and friends.
Know that you can never do what you love but you can always love what you do. And this applies to your forever mate—it is left to you to know all about the person you’re with and CHOOSE to love them anyway.
No one “finds” love but everyone projects it and that is the secret of devotions and affections of all kinds. And so, when you seek love, do not look outside yourself but rather inside yourself where love is in so much abundance that, if you choose, you can fill the entire universe with it. And, if you choose to love unconditionally that love can never be taken away or even diminish.
Living a joy-filled life is extremely difficult for most people because…most people believe that it is difficult. And, what we believe to be true is always true…for ourselves! As a result a great many people choose hatefulness over love; jealousy and self-centeredness over altruism; anger and resentment over forgiveness and choose to judge over being tolerant and understanding.
It is of course extremely difficult for some people to believe that they are at the roots of their upsets. In fact, in many instances, blaming others and circumstances becomes their way of life. But I believe that Diego Marchi summaries (or at least symbolizes) the truth for just about all of us. He says: In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love. When we know this much about ourselves and others, what is there to be upset or unhappy about? Don’t you see black or white, male or female, rich or poor, we are all the same with our differences only being apparent.
Indeed, go to the window of your house or apartment and look outside. Grasp that everything you see is a product of your consciousness—and so, whatever you call it, becomes manifest in your reality. You can deem it a “lousy” day, a “beautiful” day, a “sad” day, a “happy” day, a “boring” day, a “fearful” day, a “peaceful” day or a “fun” day and your day will unfold as you project it as being and will remain so until you CHOOSE to recreate it differently.
The basic problem is that you have probably been conditioned to believe that the world acts on you and therefore you are vulnerable to whatever befalls you good or bad. This is the trapping of most people! But the world, call it Nature, is passive. As the old saying goes, it rains on everyone and so it does. It’s just as wet for you as it is for me but, each of us has the power to deem it miserable or magical and what we deem it to be it will always become. You see, it is we who act upon the world!
Once you fully grasp this you begin to recreate the positive in your life in the knowing that you can!