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A Psychological Analysis of Relationships

By Edited Mar 30, 2014 1 1

My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for roughly 6 and a half years. I feel that has been more than enough time to reflect and analyze our life together. As many people in romantic relationships would say: she is my world. For myself personally, my girlfriend is my world through the hard times we have and the good times as well.

In my relationship, it is important for both my girlfriend and myself to listen actively to one another. I have many friends who have had many relationships, and I begin to wonder to myself what those relationships lacked. As I begin to consider at least the male side of those relationships, I can see a lack of listening and communicating as being a core dilemma (and perhaps talking of any value at all!). As my Introduction to Psychology class had a discussion about the sexes and sex itself, it became evident that there is a perception that men are preoccupied with sex. This is perhaps the greatest folly of the male gender. I have learned from my girlfriend that it is not the case that women dislike sex and men are the only ones who enjoy it, but the means to which men and women reach that sexually intimate moment are fairly different. It can be jokingly said that men want sex every five seconds and women a few times a day, but I feel there is an essence of truth to that statement. I am still in high school, so I still feel that I am ain the right to consider high-school, teenage hormones. I know that I have the capability (definitely in the mind) to go on about sex practically one hundred percent of my day. Even while I am sleeping, I am sure my mind is off fantasizing about it to some extent. Through discussion sex and many other topics (even topics of little importance like how the moon looks strange behind moving clouds), I have learned much from my girlfriend about women and perhaps even more about myself. It is not only important to talk and think for oneself, but it is also important to listen to what each other has to say! Effective communication is perhaps the most necessary aspect of a relationship for anyone! What is somewhat humorous is that even deaf individuals have the tendency to listen more through body language and sign language than many people who have the capacity to hear and listen but ignore that innate ability.

Next, as a couple it is vital that we apply knowledge to new situations. As we grow together we learn very much about ourselves, each other, and other aspects of life. In order to progress our relationship in the direction of a more "mature" relationship, my girlfriend and I have constantly needed to apply knowledge from our past to new situations. When we were younger in our relationship, I recall learning her favorite type of food, and based on that new information (at the time) I was able to proceed to take her on a date to Olive Garden (she likes Italian food the most). This is a very simple example, but perhaps one that would be non-existent if I never acquired new knowledge about her. As time continues we continue to acquire new knowledge about each other and our surroundings, and this is perhaps one of the most vital aspects of our relationship as it will allow us to adapt to the changes each of us go through and still remain happily together.

Lastly, employing precise terms is necessary to keep a relationship "on fire." I know from my own experience that women tend to appreciate more precise terms instead of bland, cliche terms and phrases. Employing precise terms in a relationship allows both individuals to be on the same page (or get out of the relationship if they are not), as well as express their feelings for each other in a more personal way. Many teenagers now a days tend to ask another to "be in a relationship" by asking them out on "a date." My brother and I were discussing how difficult it is for him to just ask a girl out on "a date" without being backed into some sort of steady, long-term relationship. I have seen many people hurt by the other not wanting to go out with them again, however I ask why is it so wrong that a person just wants to go out on a casual date? I am not so sure how people in the past reacted to being asked on a date, so I can not speak for dating couples in the past; but I assume that the modern day is worse with overreactions to simple phrases such as these. While asking a woman out on a date may have been the necessary, precise term of the past, this present day it is lacking incredibly. IT lacks in such a way that I do not even know a phrase that could replace it!

What is frightening is that speaking in precise terms may just be going out of style. It sounds somewhat humorous, but examining it I do not feel it is a very big stretch. I know that my girlfriend likes it when I am seductive and speak indirectly about different things on occasion (particularly in terms of romantic things). Perhaps, this is what modern day people are looking for: indirect terms like "asking a person on a date" to represent "will you be in a steady relationship with me." Beyond this complexity, precise terms are still most effective. My girlfriend generally appreciates my lack of saying "I love you" because I replace that phrase with my own personal views on what makes love...love. This is also another issue that I could write for pages and pages on and get extremely deep with, but I will avoid that yet again. I tend to use the phrase such as "I value you" to explain my "love" for her. I explained this to her in a spiritual sense. I consider life to have no real value in and of itself, and when I insisted to her that she gives me value she was rather interested in my viewpoint on love and life in general. Not to mention it made her feel really good to know I care for her to such an extent as to give my valueless life value!



Dec 27, 2011 8:18pm
I think you are so right about the listening part. So many people are too busy trying to be heard or enjoy the sounds of their own voice.

They just do not take the time to actually listen to their partner or friends therefore they have no idea about their feelings or understand anything about that person.

We all need to listen to what other people are saying to be able to share a good relationship or friendship of any sort.
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