When people show you who they are believe them. Relationships can play such an important part in our lives as well as how we feel about ourselves. There are great people in the world that are just like you looking for that someone special to make their life more meaningful. There are also people out there that are unable to have good relationships. Those are the people that you need to be aware of. Pay attention to the signs. Abuse can come in many different forms. We will discuss some of them.
- Someone that physically abuses you. There is never a reason for anyone to strike you or push you around. Everybody has bad days or has negative experiences and they should know how to deal with them. If your partner is beating you, slapping you or worse; you need to immediately dissolve the relationship. The behavior will only get worse and you don’t want to hang around to see just how bad it can get. Let me reiterate, GET OUT!!!
- Name Calling Insults. By belittling, calling you derogatory names, putting you down or using sarcasm their words hurt. This form of control is one found with people that have little self-esteem and confidence in themselves. They use these techniques to make themselves feel better about their own shortcomings. This person will never give you what you need the most in a relationship which is validation. This type of negative reinforcement tears at the very essence of a person. Nobody deserves to be talked to in that way regardless of the situation. You should never allow someone to talk to you this way and don’t make excuses for their behavior. If your mate is using profanity and screaming at you in public this is a definite no-no. These are the types of behaviors that may be the prelude to physical abuse. So when name calling insults begin; it is the signal for you to depart.
- Someone that is untrustworthy. Imagine staying up all night wondering where you mate is and why he hasn’t come home. You have called numerous times but to no avail. When they finally get home they say nothing to you and go straight to bed. How would that make you feel? For most people this would leave them feeling betrayed and confused. It would also cause a lot of anger and resentment. People that love you don’t treat you this way. This is the type of person that would lie to you about simple things that only make you wonder about what else they are lying about. This relationship will leave you exhausted and bitter. This is an unhealthy relationship.
- Someone that is unfaithful. Thousands of dollars have been spent on infidelity investigations; this is unnecessary. Just pay attention to the signs and you will know what is happening. Your mate’s phone is ringing all hours of the night from a restricted number. When you answer the person on the other end hangs up. They are always working late but when you call the office there is no answer. The one day someone calls you or shows up at your door to let you know they have been involved with your mate for the last 8 months. These are tell-tale signs of someone that is not monogamous. When someone has been unfaithful they have violated you and the relationship. This type of relationship is a waste of your time and energy. Once trust has left the relationship it is very difficult to revive it. This type of abuse in a relationship hurts not only your present relationship but how you will feel as you move on to a new relationship. Be strong and walk away.
This is a limited list, but it covers most of the behaviors that destroy relationships. So remember; physical abuse, name calling insults, infidelity (with or without investigations) and distrust are all signs of an abusive relationship. The sooner you find out about any of these situations the better. It’s a lot easier to leave and recover in the beginning than it is later on. Don’t forget; you are your most important asset. So treat yourself as such and do not allow anyone to abuse you because you deserve better.