Deciding if adoption from foster care is right for you?
So you're deciding if adoption from foster care is right for you! â€¨â€¨You probably have lot's questions running through your mind. â€¨â€¨Whether you're adopting privately or through foster care, you will have to brace yourself for a journey. You will be ready to welcome children into your home and foster care agencies along with your county will be going through the legal aspect of the process to make sure everything is covered legally.
My wife and I have six children in our home (2 sets of siblings) that are close to being adopted. Did we here bad stories? Yes! Did we here how hard things would be from some? Yes! But we chose to go with our gut feeling of loving children and accepting them into our home. Of course there were many discussions and guidelines we agreed upon from the beginning, but never the less we have children who are getting close in the court system to being adopted by us.
In one and a half years, we experienced receiving a set of siblings (8 month girl, 2 y/o boy, and a 5y/o girl) and then being taken from us without a minute notice. We also experienced raising a precious baby girl from 3 months old thru 1-year-old, then being given back to her father. Those we're no doubt some of the toughest moments my wife and I experienced in our lives. We’re happy to say the original three are back in our care along with another set of three and are now almost ready to be adopted by us. Long story short is that it could be a roller coaster ride to get to your destination. â€¨
It is amazing and incredibly challenging all at the same time. From the moment all of our children stepped into our home, we were called mommy and daddy. Sometimes we pinch ourselves because of the great children we ended up with. Yes there are some serious issues that the children have experienced, but in the end they are all thriving and doing fantastic. â€¨â€¨My wife has decided to be a stay at home mother so she could devote her whole self to the children and this has been one of the best decision we have made as well. Five of the children are at school until 2:30pm but after that they have mommy the rest of the night.
Just make sure you understand the difference between foster care and adoption. With adoption you usually pay a large sum of money to adopt a child of your liking. You can choose race, sex, hair color, eye color and so on. These come at a premium price of course. With fostering you will have to be open to a certain degree because you will not be paying out of pocket except for the first background checks and maybe a few training sessions. Which usually are usually reimbursable when you adopt.
As you can imagine, there is a long line of people who are ready to foster/adopt babies. So having a very narrow description of your perfect child will be hard to come by and you might have to wait for a while. Here was our description when we signed up through our foster care agency: â€¨Baby boy or girl, from 1 day old to 2 years old. We were willing to take on an older sibling (up to 4 years old) due to many babies coming with an older sibling. For the first 2 months we received no calls and then all of a sudden we were getting calls every other day. We turned down about one dozen offers because of the background of the children, chance of them going back to their biological parents, and so on.
Please take note not to misunderstand our motives but some of the benefits that come with foster care where we live are, financial compensation, health benefits until the child turns 18 years old, therapy/counseling if needed at no charge. We’ve even heard of programs that offer college support. We also know that there are many people who foster solely based on doing this for a living. Unfortunately the government has a hard time weeding people out that have good intentions and those that don’t.
We urge you to be comfortable with your decision based on homework you have done. For our family fostering to adopt, also called fost/adopt was the best way to go.
We wish you the best on probably one of the greatest journeys you will ever take.