Am I Too Fat, Too Thin, Too Ugly? Am I Pretty? Am I Beautiful?

At smirror(126459)ome point in her life your Mom probably asked those questions of herself. Your grandmother probably did too, and her mother before her.

 It is just part of the angst of being a young woman, and so I am going to share a personal story with you. When I grew up the definition of beautiful was to be very tall and thin, have virtually no breasts, straight blonde hair and big blue eyes.

 When puberty stormed my body it was obvious I was doomed to a life of perpetual ugliness. I was short, with curly brown hair and hazel eyes. I was curvy and genetics kicked in, sticking  large mounds of flesh on my chest. Ohhh..those breasts! I hated them.

By the time I hit university, a strange reality had set in. Men seemed to like curvy little brunettes. Who knew???

Throughout my teenage years my Mom never stopped telling me I was beautiful. She put up with the fad diets, the tears over a zit popping up hours before a date and even my ironing my hair. (Seriously..plug in iron, lay head on ironing board and iron hair, while trying , usually without success, to not burn scalp)

 I also realized, while watching old movies with her that the definition of beauty for young women had changed since my Mom's teen days.

 So..let's have some fun, Let's explore the changing face of beauty and see where you fit in.

Get your notepad ready. This is a quiz.

Part One of the Quiz -How Tall are You?

In our culture, taller is bettter.

If you want to be a supermodel you'd better be at least 5' 9" tall or have some remarkable featuEvares that advertisers love.

I'm never going to be a supermodel.

But, wait can be just 5' 2" tall and be sexy as heck. ( I chose that number because I'm 5'2" tall)

Eva Longoria is just 5' 2" tall. Nicole is Kidman is 5' 11" tall.

Nicole Kidman(126463)

They are both beautiful women. Height does not matter when you stand tall.

Part one of the quiz. No matter how tall or short you are, you are beautiful.


Part Two of the Quiz. Let's Check Out Your Butt.

Bum, butt, does not matter what you call it. Today, more is better. When IBeyonce(126502) was a teen having a big bum was considered ugly.

Now, the ideal is Beyoncye's butt.

Genetics continue to get in the way.  Four marathons and a million lunges with weights and my butt is still pretty flat.

This is question 2 of the quiz. Do you have a 20th century bum or  21st century booty?

Both are beautiful.

Part Three of the Quiz - On To Your Overall Body Shape

Back in the 1600's Rubens painted pictures of larger women, which remain as a modeRubens Modell of feminine sexiness today.

In the late 1960's Twiggy took the world by storm. She was the ideal of most teenage girls who strived to achieve that level of thin.

Sorry..once again your genes will have a big impact on the shape of your body. I would have to starve myself to get Twiggy thin. I would have to eat nonstop to get a Rubenesque figure.


Here's another hint. If you are just reaching puberty, it's normal to gain some weight. It does go away.

Here's part three of the quiz. Are you more Twiggy or more Rubens? Both are beautiful.



Part Four of the Quiz _ Let's look at Your Lips

Lips? Seriously?Elizabeth Taylor(126610)

Lips were just lips. Pouty, and sultry were better. Then came along Angelina Jolie, with the message that when it comes to lips, biggeris way better.

Elizabeth Taylor was an icon of beauty in the 20th century. but her lips pale in contrast to Angelinas,

Angelina Jolie

There are plenty of lip plumping products on the market. Many contain the active ingredient in cayene pepper, which irritates the lips and make them swell.

Chapped lips are not pretty, so it's important to take care of this so kissable body part.

Pucker up! Are your lips 20th century Elizabeth or 21st century Angelina? 

Part Five of the Quiz -Eyebrows

Pamela Anderson(126658)

For much of the 20th century well groomed eyebrows were an essential part of any beauty regime.

That meant spending a lot of time painfully plucking those stray hairs to get the perfect shape. The bad news is, that valuable hair eventually stops growing back in. Look at Pamela Anderson. The hot Baywatch babe has very thin eyebrows.


Brooke Shields(126659)

Suddenly, along comes Brooke Shields as a top supermodel and actress. She has really big, thick eyebrows.

Where do you fit in? Do you have pencil thin eyebrows or a furry pet growing across your forehead? Both are beautiful.



Now On to The Breasts

You didn't think we were going to skip these, did you?Kate Hudson(126913)

It's surprising how many women would like to change their breasts. Big busted women wish they were smaller. Small busted women wish they were bigger.

One of the advantages of smaller breasts is that most clothes look better and it's easy to find a bra with padding if you need to be "filled out". You can also find more cute and colorful bras. Most of the manufacturers of quality bras for big breasted women only offer their products in black, white, beige and a strange color called rose. That's it.

Sofia Vergara(126914)

As you age they will be less likely to feel the effects of gravity. You know the old saying "The bigger they are, the harder they fall"? That could be written about breasts.

On the other hand, there's nothing as sexy as a little cleavage, and you do want something to fill out that bikini top.

Pinup girls during WWII were usually pretty busty. In the 1960s and 1970's smaller breasts were more in vogue. However, every generation has had it's share of beautiful women with a wide range of breasts sizes.

Kate Hudson and Sofia Vergara definitely have different breast sizes, but they are considered to be two of today's most beautiful women.

So, if your breasts range anywhere from the size of two mosquito bites or two watermelon, take care of them. They're beautiful.

Did You Find Your Place in Beauty History?

Think of all your body parts..lips, hands, nose,  thighs, breasts, hair stomach etc etc. They are all part of you, and they are all beautiful.

Here's some practical advise to help you embrace your body.

1. Take stock and identify at least one thing you really like. Do you have long legs? Try shorter skirts or leggings to show them off. Do you have nice hands? Keep your nails well manicured and wear rings.  You get the idea.

2. Use body language. It is one of the most powerful tools to show off your beauty and confidence. Stand and walk tall. Make eye contact. Put a sparkle in your eyes like you've just won the lottery. It takes practice, but it really works.

3. Use the internet. If you are short and busty, chances are the cute tops worn by skinny models in your favorite magazine might not be flattering for you. Google up the areas that you want to dress and you'll find all kinds of great ideas.

4. Take care of yourself. Eating properly and getting enough exercise are habits that will help you for the rest of your life.

5. Engage a friend. ( can be your Mom) If you have body issues, it's good to talk about them. You may be surprised to find that the things you dislike about your body are considered cute by other people.


We started with a question.... Am I Ugly? Am I Beautiful. The correct answer is you ARE beautiful. Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself that every day,

Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty

Be True to Yourself: A Daily Guide for Teenage Girls
Amazon Price: $17.95 $8.95 Buy Now
(price as of Apr 30, 2013)
A well written guide with lots of good advice.