It is kind of ironic that the largest and most active City in the Great State of Nevada is in the hottest part of the State. Go back in time before Las Vegas was settled and it would be hard to believe what we turned the barren piece of hot desert into. People World Wide love Las Vegas. Unfortunately Las Vegas gets too many visitors and the rest of the State is often neglected by tourists. Here are some great reasons to visit the State of Nevada.
It is easy to fly into Las Vegas but I suggest you fly into Reno Instead. If you fly into Vegas you may get drunk and then next thing you know you are homeless and panhandling on the Strip for change to buy some food and beer because you lost all of you money playing the so-called Penney slots.
It is pretty awesome when you Hit Reno. You can still get lost in the World of gambling, drinking, and partying but it is also easier to avoid. In the wintertime Reno is absolutely stunning with all of the Snow. You could spend an entire vacation in Reno but you should just use it as a starting point as you explore all the cool parts of Nevada.
Ok so after the lecture you decide to save money and fly into Las Vegas anyway to start off you Nevada vacation. That’s pretty cool actually because you are only a hop skip and a UFO away from area 51. You may not believe in UFO’s but you might change your mind after it gets dark and you are parked on the side of the road waiting to see what flying objects take off from Groom Lake next.
People who work at Area 51 normally fly in from the airport in Las Vegas on an unmarked airplane. You will not be able to get on the base unless you are willing to get shot. Seriously, there are signs up saying that you can be shot. Usually signs will say no Trespassing and warn you about some vicious biting dogs but at secret UFO bases the government is allowed to shoot you.
When you get tired of worrying about aliens beaming you up into their spaceship you can try something really weird. In Elko each year there is the annual National Cowboy Poetry Gathering. The legal Brothels in Elko County are slammed full of customers. These poetic cowboys keep the girls at the brothels as busy as a bee on meth. I hate the fact that the poetic cowboys use the brothels because I hate all of the non-cowboys that have to stand in line outside while they wait their turn. It is hard to be romantic when you have to wait in line for your turn.
On a serious note, there is a brothel in Elko County that give free chili and showers away to truckers. I am not an expert but am pretty sure chili is the last thing you should eat before you use their services. Those poor girls must have to deal with strange men with gas on a regular basis.
Red Rock Canyon
Outside of Las Vegas is Red Rock Canyon. This is one of the most beautiful places in Nevada if you don’t count that brothel with the free chili. If you drive up to Red Rock in the evening you can see the sun reflecting off the rocks and seemingly changing the hue to a reddish color. Kind of like when grandma use to spank you butt with her cane.
If you ever get an urge to get married in Las Vegas you should instead take a limo up and get married outside up at Red Rock Canyon. It will be much more memorable than getting married at a chapel best to a McDonalds.
Beer and Liquor Laws
Nevada is great if you like to drink because alcohol and be bought 24 hours a day. The bars never close in Nevada. You can even buy hard liquor, in middle of the night, from a grocery store, on a Sunday, on Christmas! Liquor and beer 24-7 combined with legal prostitution in many of the Nevada Counties helps to make Nevada a popular place for Chili living truckers who are driving through the State. Ha..Take that Frances Willard!
Nevada Test Site
The Nevada Test Site is where we tested atomic bombs. Back in the day people use to gather in Downtown Las Vegas and have Atomic Bomb testing parties. Those people would drink, party, and hangout and then put on their fancy 3D looking sunglasses and head to the roof of the Casino where they would watch the Nuclear detonation test. These people probably did not have to worry too much about the radiation fallout because they would not generally perform the test until the Wind was blowing towards Utah. My oh my what wild parties those must have been. Did these people not have PTA meetings or any Amway business presentations to go to?
The experts who chose to test nuclear bombs in Nevada were able to permanently contaminate underwater aquifers. The experts claim that the contamination is definitely not permanent and the drinking water should be back to normal within a couple of million years. I bet the Nevada Test Site is why the Dinosaurs went extinct.
Fortunately we learned a lot when we destroyed Japan by dropping 2 nuclear bombs on them. We thought “my oh my that’s not very safe”. We learned so much that we continued to test nuclear bombs and weapons at the Nevada Test Site until 1992.
In 1991 we even let the British come over and test nuclear bombs at the Nevada Test Site. Sometimes we do the dumbest things in the United States. Maybe we just wanted the British to see how bad we were contaminating this part of our Country so they would not try and reclaim the United States as one of their territories. “No Taxation without Nuclear radiation!”.