Loving Yourself Unconditionally Is The Key To Loving Others

Being True To Yourself

Does my notion of what it means to be your authentic self correspond exactly with whatever Anita Moorjani’s notion of that is? Maybe it does, and maybe it doesn’t. That’s not important. What is important is that was all know – we can sense it deep inside – when we are being true to ourselves and when we are not being true to ourselves. 

After all, what other people (our parents, our co-workers, our neighbors, or anyone else) think of us is, in the greater scheme of things, nothing compared with how see ourselves. And we therefore need to pay very close attention to that guiding inner voice (rather than the competing and sometimes conflicting cacophony of voices all around us) because it is that inner voice which will help us stay true to ourselves. 

Anita says that critics may find her statements about the vast importance of loving oneself to be self-centered, self-serving and selfish. But what she learned during her NDE is that when we are giving ourselves plenty of love and spiritual nourishment, we experience what she terms an “overflow” or a surplus of love, and it is this surplus of love that then spills out onto others, while constantly replenishing itself. 

She further explains that when she was growing up, like so many people, she was taught always to “put others first,” and that this approach to life was the path to becoming both a righteous and spiritually fulfilled person. What her NDE taught her, on the contrary, was to love herself first (and copiously!), because this way she would have boundless amounts of what she describes as this great “overflow” of love to share with everyone around her.

As Anita also explains in her writings and interviews, there is no need to meditate on a mountain for twenty years to achieve spiritual enlightenment - unless that is something that you really, really want to do! Take all that wonderful, vibrant spiritual energy and just direct it toward feeding and nurturing your spiritual core and allowing your own authentic self to shine through. Don’t worry about pleasing others or impressing others or being judged by others. (And don’t judge yourself too harshly either.)

On the contrary, be as kind, gentle and compassionate with yourself as you would be with a baby or young child. And at the same time, be as fearless as you can manage to be. As much as possible, try to live your life with as little anxiety as possible. Fearlessness is one of the most important aspects of Anita’s post-NDE existence, because now that she is free of worry, she can direct all of that energy (which used to be so fear-focused) onto joyful, healthy, happy living.

She reminds us not to worry so much, for instance, about the food you are putting in your mouth or the air you are breathing.  Anita frequently tells her listeners and readers that before her NDE, she was a worrier to the extreme. For instance, she became a vegan, but not for emotionally healthy reasons. Indeed, her decision to do so was fear-based, as she explains.  As she tells it, she was afraid of almost every kind of food, worried that every morsel she put into her mouth might cause cancer. 

Subsequently, her emotionally unhealthy and fear-based solution became to eat as few different types of foods possible.  As a matter of fact, she maintains to this day that one of the reasons that she ultimately developed cancer (and consequently nearly died) was because she lived every moment of her pre-NDE life wracked with fear and anxiety from head to toe. (Please note that Anita’s theory on this subject is actually consistent with scientific findings that indicate stress as a factor in the development of many illnesses including cancer.) 

As you can imagine, living in a constant state of fear and anxiety is an extraordinarily difficult and extremely tiring way to go through life. But perhaps you already understand this problem all too well. Maybe you, too, find yourself obsessed with your fears and anxieties. Maybe you, too, are seeking freedom from a fearful, anxiety-ridden way of looking at the world. 

The good news, once again, is that all of us don’t need to nearly die (as Anita and others have) to achieve the fearlessness that Anita has achieved. We need only listen to what she has to say, and take her words to heart, and put her very solid advice (to be authentic and fearless) into practice in our own day-to-day lives. 

In other words, she (and others like her) visited the other side (and lived to tell the tale!) so that the rest of us don’t have to (until it really is our time to go). She is sharing what she has learned so that we all may heed her words and benefit from her hard-earned wisdom. 

Another interesting point about Anita: Nowadays, she does not “chase” after her goals, as she used to do pre-NDE. That mad pursuit does not sit well with her anymore, because she now grasps that when you madly chase after a given goal, you are actively sending yourself the signal or message that it is hard work to achieve that particular goal, making it seem all the more unattainable.

The illusion, she maintains, is that “life is tough” and that our goals are unreachable. When you simply “are who you are” and start being true to yourself and loving yourself, Anita asserts that your goals will start to feel very much within your reach, and no longer like some distant brass ring that is forever eluding your grasp as you go round and round on the carousel of life. 

All you need to do is love yourself, she states again and again, not in a silly or superficial way, but in a deep, true, everlasting and unconditional way. For many of us, this can be a challenge, and much, much “easier said than done,” as the old saying goes. Many of us are in the bad habit of being very hard on ourselves, for any number of reasons. Perhaps we love ourselves, but only in a conditional way, and maybe we criticize and judge every move we make, every decision rendered, big or small. And when we engage in this incessant judging and condemning of ourselves (and our decisions), we are also imprisoning ourselves, spiritually speaking. (Indeed, it would appear that Not loving yourself fully can be just as “damaging” from a spiritual vantage point as living a fear-based life.) 

Anita also cautions us not to worry too much about popular notions we may hear or read about, such as the “law of attraction” or “the power of positive thinking” It can be all too easy to get caught up in spiritual fads and trends that “catch fire” for a while and then ultimately “burn out” (or get twisted or misunderstood in fundamental ways). 

Rather, she states that if you are loving yourself fully and unconditionally and if you are living your life authentically - that is if you are living in harmony with your own spirit or soul – it follows logically that you will naturally experience more love, more peace and more pure enjoyment and harmony in your life. 

If you allow your fears to fall away gently (like an outfit that no longer fits, spiritually speaking), as Anita has managed to do in her post-NDE life, the more peace and harmony you will experience. Indeed, the act of deeply loving and caring for yourself, of being true to and nurturing of your own spirit, as well as becoming fearless, are the keys to happiness and spiritual fulfillment. 

I wish more and more of us would take the time to listen to what Anita and other NDErs have to say about where they have been (the “other side”) and what they can teach us based upon their journeys. When we open our ears, hearts and minds to what they have to say, it can be truly life altering. (For starters, it can help you shed your fears, even if you have as many of them as Anita once did.)