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Are You Selling A House?

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 0 0

Are you selling a house? Are you having much success? Any Offers?

We went to look at a house last week. We had a certain area in mind, and we met our agent at the bottom of the driveway. There was still snow on the ground here when we went to look, and I could tell as soon as we drove up the driveway, what type of house seller we were going to be faced with. I just prayed that we didn't run over anything under the snow and get a flat tire, which means we would not be able to leave!

Keeping in mind, this house was not being advertised as a "fixer upper" this was being advertised as a "nice family home in a nice neighborhood, move in ready", "but could use a little updating" Those were the exact words of the listing, along with a picture from about a decade ago, when it must have looked nice.

The market is also a good one right now, as there are not too many houses on the market, which drives the prices up. So, this house was being offered at the high end of the scale for its type of house, price wise.

Once we got to the top of the driveway, we were met by people who had not even got out of their cars, and were turning around to leave! But me, being me that actually got me more interested! We didn't mind some hard work and renovations to bring a house back to life, that was what we were looking for, but this house, should have won a prize, not sure for what, but it should have won...

So here is a list of 10 Things to do if you DON'T want to sell your house.

1. When selling a house, make sure and leave your nasty dog tied up at the top of the driveway, so that he barks and lunges at the potential buyer and they have to fend for themselves to get to the walkway, if in fact they don't run for their cars or run for the hills. Also make sure there is "dog dodo" laying around..

2. Once you have broken a barbeque or maybe 5 of them, or are keeping them for spare parts, why not leave them laying around in the front yard as lawn ornaments. Better yet, how about in the driveway, and stack the rusting propane tanks as if you are saving up for the next war.

3. With the washing machine in the basement, make sure and pile up 4 weeks worth of dirty, no make that filthy laundry on the floor, so that the potential buyer has to wade through this laundry to see the rest of the basement, and of course you have made them take their shoes off at the door, so they are in socked feet not knowing what is under this laundry, assuming they have got this far, and praying their shots are up to date!.

4. Make sure, when selling a house, that the cats have totally filled up the litter boxes, and keep them right where we can all see them. They look especially good in the bathroom by the tub. Also make sure that the bags of cat litter you got on sale the other day are stacked ceiling high right in front of the bathroom window. After all a deal is a deal right? Even if that was the only place you could think to stack it. It should be near where the litter box is right? You should not run out for a very long time, because you don't really bother to clean it out anyways!

5. Make sure that you have NOT done the dishes, from last nights lasagna dinner. Leave them piled in the sink, with the dripping faucet, and don't bother to sweep the floor or the table, and leave that lovely, holey, dish cloth hanging from the faucet. Who needs to wash the dish towels anyways? So, make sure and leave the dirty kitchen tea towels hanging from the stove front. This is a good way to keep people from looking at the appliances up close, even though you are including them in the sale of this lovely home.

6. In the bedrooms, make sure and leave the beds unmade, after all you will be sleeping in them again tonight, so why bother? Also make sure and leave yesterdays clothes and underwear all over the place, and of course the best place to hang clothes is on that treadmill that is collecting dust in the corner. Also make sure the closet is so stuffed with clothes, that the doors don't close, or better yet, they have come off their track so, just leave the door leaning against the wall.

7. Multi-colored Christmas Lights look good strung up in the "supposedly finished basement recreation room" Since there is no real wiring down there, lets overload one circuit and string Christmas lights all the way around, and then add extension cords for the big screen TV. After all you need to watch your priorities, and that big TV was it.

8. Wall paper from the 70's has such a rustic effect when it is peeling off the wall. Why bother stripping the wall paper, since you are trying to sell the place anyways, why not put up lots and lots and lots of cheap framed pictures to hide the peeling wallpaper. They will never notice.

9. You must keep that worn out lovely flower power couch in the living room, along with the easy chair and ottoman. They add such flair to the room, and might as well have all the pets picking it and chewing it until the stuffing comes out. You just need to put a pillow there, and no one will notice right?

10. When selling a house, you might as well leave the house number hanging by a thread, and rusted, they found the place already, so no worries, and the duct taped lid on the mail box that Uncle Joe did for his idea of "home repairs" was brilliant, after all duct tape fixes everything. Plus might as well leave that old living room upholstered couch on the front porch, it brightens the place up!

The above 10 items were what we saw in this one house. This homeowner looked pleased as punch that people were actually venturing through the house. She couldn't understand why some of the cars had turned around and left.

There were many viewers there, because she had told her agent "she was only going to clean once" and "that everyone should come at the same time and that way there might be multiple offers, after all there is not much on the market right now"

I don't thing to many potential buyers saw it that way that day!. So if you are selling a house, get your agent to go through the house with you, and hopefully this agent will have the guts to tell you how it really is. Otherwise, we all waste our time, turn and leave, or in this case RUN!


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