Asian Brides and Intercultural Marriages

By susanw | 1 Comments | Rating: 0 | |

If you've ever dreamed about marrying an Asian bride, and transporting her to your country, you may need to realize that there is more to it than initially meets your eye. It's not easy for a woman to move to a new country, often without speaking the language very well, to adapt to a new culture, customs, make new friends, and start off with married life.

Knowing how difficult this can be, I do question the wisdom in the current trend of ordering 'mail order Asian brides.' It's a very dangerous route to take when looking for a life-partner. Often times the women who sign up for these programs are women from poor or lower class families who are both desperate to make money, and desperate to escape their often difficult situations. Oftentimes what first seems like it will be a wonderful relationship quickly deteriorates under the strain of adapting and adjusting to a new life.

Keeping a marriage happy and united is not as easy as the books, magazines and movies portray. Even between couples who are from the same culture, there's a lot of communication and acceptance, things that have to be sorted out in order to remain happy. Throw into a relationship problems such as an inability, because of language differences, to really be able to communicate on a heart to heart, open and honest level. Toss in the loneliness and isolation that a young foreign bride often feels, and the sadness or depression that can result and how she responds to that. An unhappy wife often causes an unhappy husband to become very dissatisfied and upset. After all, from his point of view, he has likely already invested a lot into their relationship and he's probably expecting that his new wife will bring him joy and will be a positive, radiant partner. These are all very real things to think about when considering Asian brides.

Because of the huge differences between Asian and Western cultures, I think that in order to have a successful marriage both parties will have to be prepared to invest a lot of time in it, and be prepared to regularly deal with differences and problems as they come up. If you're able to do that, and you have a realistic approach towards your marriage, then it could well work. If not, you may find that your fairytale, mail order marriage, doesn't last past the first year. I do have some friends who have been married for over twenty years now. They had their rough spots in the beginning but they loved and respected each other and were able to work their differences out. One point to note, though, is that it wasn't a mail-order marriage either.

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Comments

May 28, 2010 9:58am

danpowers
Nice article, but the world is changing. Loads of the Chinese ladies on Chnlove have better jobs than I have! Sure their salaries are lower, but so are taxes and living costs in much of Asia.

Thanks to rising living standards and the Internet it's also much easier for men to live in Asia with their Asian wives. That's certainly something I'll be considering, if only to get away from the horrible European winter weather!!!