Aveeno Skin Care Products


Brightens skin

Skin is softer



Not completely "all natural"

Some products smell bad

Many products burn the skin and sting eyes

Full Review

Well, here I am, folks, ready to review my first facial skin care products!!!

The good news is my face doesn't look like the left second teat of a Jersey Cow. The bad news is that when my husband and I went antique shopping today, someone tried to bid on me.

I decided to start my foray into beauty product reviews with the Aveeno line of skin care products. I had a sneaking suspicion that it was going to eat my face off like Rosie O'Donnell at an all you can eat chinese buffet, but it was cheap, and I'm cheap *cough*, so maybe we would go together like chocolate and peanut butter!

I'll begin with the Aveeno Positively Radiant Cleansing Pads. These little wonders are quite convenient! They are large round pads with a softer texture on one side, and a rougher texture on the other for exfoliation. And, when I say rougher, I mean drag-your-face-across-a-square-of-50-grit-sandpaper- perched-precariously-on-the-tongue-of-the-world's-largest-Tabby-cat rough. Careful with these, ladies, or you'll be able to see the inside of your sinuses after about three days of use.

The pads do foam up nicely, and I did like the fact that they were supposed to be all natural, soap free, oil-free, hypoallergenic, and several other things I act like I care about but really don't. The ingredients, however, don't sound all that natural: Dimonium Chloride Phosphate, Sodium Citrate, Glycine Soja Protein (Soybean), Citric Acid, PEG 14M, Methylparaben, Butylparaben, Ethylparaben, Isobutylparaben, Propylparaben...


The other thing you need to watch are your eyes. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WATCH YOUR EYES!!!!! If you get these pads anywhere near your eyes while they are in foam mode, you'll think you have stuck your eyeballs right in the path of Satan's arse during a expulsion of a particularly bad night of Thai food and beans. Picture me running through my house, face foaming ALL NATURALLY while screaming, "It burns, it burns... Sweet JESUS IT BUUUUUUUUURNS!"

Yeah, avoid the eyes.

The next product I used after sandblasting my face clean was the Aveeno Positively Ageless Rejuvenating Serum. Honestly, I have no idea what this stuff is supposed to do, but anything that is called "Serum" has to be good, right? I think it's supposed to make my skin look brighter. Hells yeah, I need that!

NAS-TAY. It was slightly sticky, slightly greasy, and the worst part was that it SMELLED like a bag of rotten squirrel nuts roasting in the midwestern sun for about a week. Yes, THOSE nuts. And, when applied to skin that has just been harassed with a perfectly foaming diamond grinder, it starts smoking and makes your face feel like it's infested with female fire ants who are all cycling together.

Graphic enough? Me no likey.

After all of this horrific facial treatment, the final product I've been applying is the Aveeno Positively Ageless Moisturizer SPF 30.

Believe it or not, I actually like this product. It is thicker than I usually am comfortable with, and it does go on feeling a little greasy, but it quickly absorbs into my skin and leaves it feeling very soft. And, it doesn't make me break out like one of the kids from Dawson's Creek. Holla!

(It also didn't improve my vocabulary like one of the kids from Dawson's Creek either. Bummer)

The down side is that this product also has a fragrance that is very strong, and not all together pleasant. I suppose the stinky feet/dead squirrel combo might be related to the shiitake mushroom and soy extract that is in the product, but I think they included the fertilizer used in the soil as well. Gah! There is a reason shiitake mushroom is spelled that way. Think about it.

Despite my poking fun at Aveeno's products, my skin actually does look a little brighter and healthier than it did before. I am guessing this has less to do with Aveeno, and more to do with me actually taking care of my skin instead of sleeping in stage makeup and washing it off in the morning with anti-bacterial handsoap from Bath and Body Works. I know, the horror.

That being said, I still have a LONG way to go. How long? Let's just say I still look like I was born around the time the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

In Closing

So, what is my final recommendation? The products had a brightening effect on my skin, but didn't do much for eye puffiness, fine lines or wrinkles. Although I was pleased with the increased glow of my skin, I'm not sure that the burning sensation during use or the smell that many of these products contain is really worth it. Overall, a 2.5/5.0 stars.

Peace Out and Until Next Time,