"What's wrong with you June ?"
"Why do you throw tantrums like that all the time?! "
"Why did you bit Jeff ?"
That's why I used to tell my daughter ! Then I noticed... well I mean I learnt (let's be honest !) that bad children behavior can not be explained by children themselves. Simple questions like the ones above are simply useless because most of the time, our children don't know why they're doing this or that, act a certain way.
They react almost impulsively to our words and attitude towards them. You know those moments when you don't understand why your kid is crying and are surprised to hear that he/she was afraid you might not come back maybe because you were carrying a bigger bag than usual or forgot to say "I love you and am coming back real soon" before leaving the house. I love to say our kids are like baby animals ! :)
But the great thing about them not being baby animals (!) is that they can understand things we tell them and therefore apply them. It's education. The truth is we don't always know how to communicate with them, we stay stuck in our own behavior and sometimes even expect an explanation from our kids ! Forget it !
The change has to come from YOU first ! And I was really relieved to found that parenting methods exist because, excuse me, but I'm a mom, not a therapist ! And I'm afraid I forgot how it's like to be a child... And what's inside June's mind remains a mystery sometimes.
Anyway, it's good to know that parenting styles are infinite and that the thing to do is find the right one for your child... and your own sanity !!
Because learning a new parenting method really changed my daughter's behavior and... my life :), I wanted to say to other parents who are struggling with bad children behavior that it's not too late to choose an appropriate parenting method that will guide you step by step towards the happy family you once were ! :)
All the best to you fellow parents !