Director: Peter Berg


The storyline of “Battleship” revolves around a devastating marine alien invasion. In order to stave of such a deadly invasion, an entire armada of ships, captained by Liam Nesson gets engaged in a vicious battle with them . To prevent a complete annihilation and subjugation of the human race, Liam Nesson and his troops must prevail in this battle



Destructive alien invasions, men’s ultimate battle for survival, heroic last stands- are things that Hollywood regularly churns out every summer. Despite a veritable deluge of such mediocre movies,  moviegoers keep queing up at the cinema halls and multiplexes everytime, with high hopes that earlier goof ups will be corrected and Hollywood will dish out something truly mindboggling.

But alas, Hollywood keep on disappointing us and their latest offering “Battleship” is not only a major squib, but takes cinematic mediocrity to a different, hitherto unseen level. The premise of the story remains the same albeit dressed up differently for optimists, escapists and denial-ists people like us, to shamelessly lap it up. The plotline, the outcome of every such movie have become ever so predictable, that even VFX gimmickry and stunning 3D are construed as nothing but means to paper over the cracks. At least the central plotline about a marine alien invasion is unique, but everything else about “Battleship” is stereotypical, riddled with all too familiar tropes.

The story is borderline ludicrous, even for a science fiction movie. However, the audience does not really mind being taken for a ride as long as the ride is worth all the efforts and the film is truly entertaining and mindboggling ala “Men In Black” or “Independence Day”. However while watching “Battleship”, I was struck with the feeling that the filmmakers really did not invest much energy and intellect to eke out such a plot. The must have felt that the tried and tested  worn out formula of alien invasion and stunning action sequences will be an irresistible cocktail for moviegoers,-this notion is truly an insult to our intellect. If the moviemakers clearly displayed such levels of apathy towards their own movie, why should we, the audience, suffer the consequences of their ineptness and go through one and a half hours of such utter dross.

If Michael Bay was the director of this lame excuse for a movie, I could have comprehended the reason behind such a wafer thin plot, bereft of any soul and no discernible character development of the main leads. But since it was Peter Berg, director of Hancock, I was doubly disappointed to see him sticking to the tried and tested route, rather than going out of the box to come up with something unique that could have managed to break through the clutter.

Now comes the acting part – well less we say about it the better it is. The actors remained true to the paper(thin) storyline and delivered plastic performances. I was at a debate myself about which character  could clinch the “Stereotype of the Year" award – there were so many of them . I am a huge fan of Nesson, but let’s be honest his last few choices ( cough ,,,,Wrath of the Titans…..cough) have flabbergasted everybody. It seems that Taylor Kitsch is fulfilling a personal vendetta by ruining wi every science fiction movie he features in. Fresh from his shambolic performance in “John Carter”, which undoubtedly made, Edgar Rice Burrows turn in his grave, Kirtsch once again demonstrated his “wide array” of skills. If he continues in the same vein soon they will be reading his acting obituary.

Formulaic films, can be entertaining sometimes, if presented properly. Battleship failure to connect with its audience should be attributed solely to shoddy filmmaking . Beyond the big guns and the big fights, “Battleship” turned out to be a major bore in every department – A definite contender for the Razzies 2013.