Be Influential Without Being Aggressive

kp3028 | Feb 14, 2011 |

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Getting things done often means influencing others, whether that is senior management or children and everyone in between. Influencing others to do things without adding pressure or creating tension, is an art, not a science. It is more than just delegating, it is getting people to feel part of the overall solution and guide them to the results. Some things can be learned from those that are very good at it.

Always be curious. Ask questions….don’t be timid about bringing up difficult questions about important problems and issues. Regardless of whether you are serving as a volunteer on a committee or an employee at work, there will always be people who have more experience than you and it takes courage to speak up. Asking questions is a great way to be inquisitive and potentially identify problems that others may not be seeing. It takes time to develop the courage to ask difficult questions. If you are worried about your job, you may feel that being quiet is best, but you will gain more respect by bringing up issues that you see are important.

Set aside your personal feelings and focus on the greater good of the project. Always seek consensus, versus approaching things with a ‘my attitude is the best’. Avoid making it a personality contest, but rather keep the focus on the project. You will gain more respect from others that way.

Enlist the help of those above you in management as well as below you in the hierarchy of the organization. Upper management will respect you for seeking out help, the others will respect you because you believe you don’t know everything.

Let humility work for you. Show people that you do not need to dominate the conversation to move the situation forward.

Be straightforward and keep working towards your target. Be assertive in your approach without alienating others. Set clear goals and guidelines and adhere to them. Earn the respect of others and watch your ability to influence increase.