When you were born you were completely dependent on everyone around you for emotional and physical support. You are in the very earliest stages of developing your belief systems and your defense systems. You have conditional belief in that all the people who support you will take care of your needs for the rest of your life. This does not happen. And, during this early stage of life development you start believing in yourself and your self esteem is great.
You believe you can do anything and have total love for yourself. As you continue to develop you eventually become skeptical about your ability to provide for yourself, take care of yourself and in your ability to do the things you need to do to get on with life. You begin to lose some of that love for yourself because of how you have been treated. Your self-esteem has been damaged by other people or something that has happened to you. You may have been physically damaged in some way.
Time flies by and you lose your ability to defend yourself physically or emotionally because you may not trust your sense of what is going on around you or within you. You begin to falter. You begin to doubt that you can do anything right for yourself, or anyone, that would sustain your life. You have stopped believing in yourself and have lost all your self-esteem and self-worth. You feel that you have been beaten down so hard and so long that you cannot find the will to stand up for your rights anymore simply because you now believe you do not have any.
You feel that your rights have been taken away from you and therefore you loosen your personal boundaries and emotional boundaries and do not take heed to situations that may harm you. This is not how you started life, is it? Somewhere along this time-line you have lost the ability to verbally and physically defend yourself whenever anyone starts intruding in your personal life. You simply do not care!
You really do not have an iota of self respect anymore and mostly do not respect anyone else. You stop taking care of yourself and do not care about your personal and emotional safety. You do not care about your security in life or your ability to take care of your needs. All these things have no meaning; all because you stopped believing in yourself, your abilities, and your inherent self-esteem and self-worth.
Learning how to bring back that self confidence and self esteem to start believing in yourself again is no easy task. You must re-learn how to trust yourself and know that you can make the right decisions that will once again lead you into a productive life. A positive belief in yourself can be very powerful and extremely rewarding, just as much and as powerful as a negative belief in yourself can be harmful. You can start believing in yourself and developing positive things in your life again to really re-build your self-worth.
When you start believing in yourself again you start feeling you actually have rights once again; and you are far more likely to start defending yourself, both physically and emotionally. You will begin to do whatever it takes to stay safe, just as you did when you were a child growing up. You start losing your self-esteem issues and developing a positive self-image once again.
You begin to re-learn the difference between truth and lies and build upon the basic fact that you are once again a worthy human being. You now start truly believing that you can take care of yourself and have an understanding that you may not always be in the safest place physically and emotionally, but are able to defend yourself adequately.
You can now understand that your beliefs and believing in yourself were developed by your sense of the world, both real and imagined. You now develop a model of life that will keep you safe, emotionally and physically with a greater sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Beliefs are changeable and you begin to believe this as you re-grow yourself and start a new life. What you believed in at age 10 is certainly not what you believe in now.
You can certainly take charge of your life and bring back four major beliefs:
Your self-respect is worth standing up for.
You deserve to live and be safe.
You have the ability to keep yourself safe.
You have the ability to truly believe in myself.
When you truly begin believing in yourself and have reset your boundaries both internally and externally, you have strengthened your self-worth and a physical or emotional attack becomes, once again, unacceptable to you. You will understand that you are now a determined, strong, responsible person and know what you want that will keep you safe. You are very much less likely to let any emotional or physical abuse control your life and understand that these things happen and are a fact of life.
You will not put up with anything that will upset your life, anymore. The most important thing you have learned; you can transform your life and begin believing in yourself again and have a strong sense of self-worth and self-esteem.