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Best Drinking Places

By Edited Oct 18, 2016 0 0

Countless countries around the orb tip bottoms up for meals, deals, chills and frills. Maybe that sentence would sound better if you were drunk, and if you are, then you're probably from one of the following countries. Unfortunately, the EU out-gasses every other country. They out-plaster the USA; they out-sauce Mexico; they even out-hammer Russia, and that's saying something (Russians consumes 15 liters of alcohol a year each!). I've compiled a list based on hearsay, personal accounts and stereotypes. If you're researching for some hard data, you may want to stop reading. If, however, you want to know where the world's best binging takes place, then I urge to read on, my fellow boozer.

Countries You Know:

Australia: If you're over in Europe or the US, then heading over to Australia merely to get blasted may not be money conscious. However, every one the world over knows that people of OZ—not the Munchkins—started up as a correctional colony. That is, England sent all their criminals and athletes here. As criminals are wont to do, grog became a hot commodity and a hard currency. Today, too, alcohol can make you a star in the bar (but you better have money too). Try Brisbane, Sydney and Perth for a drinking buddy. Alas, you may have to learn a bit of that rugby cant you've put off for so long.

France: The French have alcohol for every meal and make a snack with the stuff between. I know, as I've lived there. The rumors and reports are more than true! I never knew my liver could process all that Bordeaux, Merlot and Burgundy—often in the same day! The best place to drink fine wine is Anywhere, France. The best place to get socially unacceptable—"French fries, ha ha haI get it"—has got to be Paris; try the Latin quarter, where the Fac is at. (Fac=University [I swear!])

Countries You May Know:



Ireland: If you've ever fancied little leprechauns dancing around your head, then you may have to add something to your drink. St. Patty's Day has permeated every continent, and this is proof enough ofyesthe Patron Saint's power; but, more importantly, Ireland's drunken ways are by far not bygone ways. I mean, how a small island gets so much press for drinking so much (the most per capita in the world in fact) stands alone as assurance that you'll always have a stool to sit on. I've never found a dry tap in either Dublin, Galway, Kilkenny—time to get medieval.

Germany: It's hard not to be EU-centric here, but I'm doing my best. C'mon, Germany has the Oktoberfest, sixteen days of slaughter and sausage, all under thousands of cold mugs. Germany has had a bit of a sticky history in the eyes of the world. They created liberal laws regarding the consumption of brewskis so that the world would love them again. "OK, we forgive you. Let's get trashed and forget the past."


Countries You Should Know:

Slovakia: Both Slovakia and Czech Republic make the list here, as I just got back from Slovakia a few months back and discovered an undercover world of happy-go-lucky drunks. This place is like Siberia with a heat wave, I swear. One way the Slovaks warm the innards is by consuming lots of hydrous flowers found in the Tatras Mountains bordering Poland—illegal but oh-so powerful. If you need to be drunk on the double, then don't pass up the carafe of XXX (this is better than porn). Slovakia, of course, has its fair share of beers, bars and drunken touristy outlets.

South Korea: If you've got a couple days stopover on your way to get drunk in OZ, then find Itaweon in Seoul, South Korea. This strip of asphalt is the place where the foreign military and Koreans go to get drunk on the weekend. Or, go to one of the many corner restaurants serving bimbim bap. You'll see plenty of overworked colleagues passing around the soju. It is considered impolite not to drink, get drunk and get stupid together. If you make some friends who pass the booze, be sure to be polite like Mommy taught you—get binging!

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