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Best Ways Of Farting In Bed

By Edited Mar 13, 2016 0 1

 

Let's face it, we are all human, and farting is a large part of the human condition. Out of all of the potential places to fart, farting in bed is definitely one of the most common and most comfortable. Many people decide to go about releasing gas in bed without using any technique or manoeuvres; however, if the appropriate methods and techniques were applied, farting in bed could be THAT much more effective. Whether it is to simply cause laughter, contain the smell, or make vibrations, it can be a much more enjoyable experience if you do it with technique. It is obvious that everybody's body and method of farting is different; however, if they use the techniques that are provided in this article, they will surely have a much more positive experience the next time that they are farting in bed!

 

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Farting In Bed With The Sheets Pinned Down

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This is an excellent technique that will allow you to contain the potentially potent smell of your farts within the limits of the sheets. If you have people around your bed and do not want them to know that you have farted, this would be your best option. Your goal should be to use every limb of your body to hold the sheets down onto the mattress, and then release your fart. By doing this you will keep the smell of your fart within the limits of the sheets, and allow it to slowly leak out through the unpinned perimeter of the sheets. However, you must be prepared when using this method when farting in bed to plug your nose when you release those sheets; all of the contained smells of the fart will be released!

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Farting In Bed Against The Mattress

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This method is proven to be effective when you are in need of a laugh, or for the sound of your fart to be muffled. To do this you should simply firmly press your buttocks against the mattress when farting in bed. This will provide you, and anybody else that is in the bed with you with a chuckle because your fart will likely vibrate the coils of the mattress significantly enough for you to notice; this may not make everybody laugh, but the majority of the population would laugh at vibrating coils from somebody that had farted! This is also a good technique for muffling the noise of your fart when you are farting in bed. The firm press of your buttocks against the mattress will cause the sound waves to hit the mattress rather than simply travel through the air; most of the sound waves will be deadened upon encountering the mattress, which will result in a softer sounding fart!

Are you looking for a new mattress that will muffle your farts? If so, check out this HUGE selection of mattresses  and see if you find one that fits your budget!

Farting In Bed Off Of The Side

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This method will definitely be effective if your goal is to guide the smell of your fart away from the bed, or to project the sound of your fart. To accomplish this when farting in bed you must turn on your side with your buttocks facing the closest edge of the bed. You must then move as close to the edge as possible, and remove the sheets that are covering your buttocks. Once this is done you may fart as you wish. This method of farting in bed is useful if you sleep with another individual and do not want them to smell the fart, or if you would like other people in the same room or house to clearly hear your fart.

Farting In Bed Silently

In order to utilize this method properly you must first understand how farts make the noise that they make. When you fart, the air that comes out of your buttocks forces its way through two touching buttocks cheeks causing them to flap together; moreover, if you could eliminate this flapping, you could easily eliminate the sound of your farts. So the way to go about farting in bed silently is to separate your buttocks cheeks as much as you possibly can. There are many ways to go about doing this that range in comfort levels, and the one that you decide to use should be based on your personal preference. However, it is important to remember when farting in bed that the more that your cheeks are separated, the more that the sound will be eliminated!

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Farting in bed can be a purely enjoyable thing to go about doing; moreover, the way that you go about doing it will greatly determine the results and consequences of your actions. This article has provided you with many different methods of farting in bed that will greatly allow you to determine which of those results and consequences you will incur. It is still important to have fun when blowing farts in your bed, but utilize these tips to go about doing it in the most effective manner. Remember, this is a natural occurrence of the human body, and nobody should be embarrassed of doing it!

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Comments

Aug 4, 2010 3:20pm
sound_foundation
Sheer genius! lol
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