Well, now it is time to fess up. I have never been the most physically fit person in the world. I never really appreciated "healthy" food very much. Let's face it; for most of my life there has been a brightly-lit screen in front of me flashing images into my head. The highest my heart rate has been today was when a coworker showed me the new iPhone 4 that she bought and let me hold it for a few minutes.

Oh, I really have no excuse. My father was an MVP of his high school football team. My mother played basketball. I even took Taekwondo in High School for a while, but again, I have never been health conscious. Even when I was active, I still ate a late night snack with my friends that consisted of a bag of nacho-rings and a pint of chocolate milk. No, they had their own. That was just mine. I should have known better. My maternal grandfather had years of heart-related illness to contend with. When my father was almost 50 he had his first heart attack. The warning signs were there. People would try to tell me that I needed to watch my health, weight, etc. but I just never listened.

Why not? Well, I'm not really sure. I mean, I guess some of it could be that I have a very strong faith in God and I believe that when I die I will be going to heaven, so why should I care how long I stay here. Maybe I'm just lazy and don't want to put forth physical effort. Might it be that when I feel inadequate, stressed, upset, or any one of those 'bad' emotions I go grab a bite to eat? It is probably a combination of all of those, as well as others that I don't even realize up to this point.

So why am I thinking about this now? If I've waited so long to think of these things, why even bother now? Well, I got a call from my doctor's office today. I had some blood work done and found out that my bad cholesterol is way up. Not a big deal? Well it is if you are already taking medication to control it. I started taking a karate class with my daughter to help me lose weight, and I have actually gained. How is that possible? After all, my instructors give me a great workout in class, and I am even exercising at home now.

I'm not a candidate for The Biggest Looser or even anywhere close to it. I'm not a huge guy and most people are even surprised when they find out how much I weigh (260lbs, for those who are curious). The problem as I see it is if I can't control myself now, how will I do it later in life? I suspect that I'm in for at least as many heart problems as my father or grandfather if I stay on this course. But truly, sudden death from a heart attack does not frighten me. Not being here with my wife and children gives me pause, but doesn't scare me because I believe they are bound for heaven as well. What really made me upset was thinking about what it will be like if I don't die young. I am setting myself up for a terrible time in old age. I'm setting a bad example for my children and my wife. I cannot continue to do this to myself and my family.

So now I have decided to do something about it. I don't know if anyone "out there" cares or not, but at this point that question is irrelevant. I've decided to write about this not because I think it will generate "hits" for me, but because I wonder if there is someone else out there who will hold me accountable. Is there anyone who is going through the same thing that I am? I have done some things to try and live better, but apparently not enough. My instructors in karate tell us that respect for others and one's self are key to making yourself better. Jesus says that you should treat others in the way that you would want them to treat you. I think that for so long now I have tried to respect others and treat them well, but I have not respected myself. Maybe I felt selfish in the past when I have thought about trying to get myself into shape. Whatever the case, it's time for me to change that. It's time for me to realize that I will not be an effective servant of God if I cannot walk properly because my feet cannot bare the weight of my body (I now wear special insoles to make that better). It's time for me to understand that I cannot conduct Bible studies with people if I am lying in the hospital after a heart attack!

Today I begin respecting the body that God gave me, and doing what is necessary to change myself for the better. Who's with me?