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Beyonce Isn't Human, She's a Fem-bot!

By Edited May 9, 2016 0 0

For the few people left on this planet who don't know who Beyonce Knowles is, she is the goddess who brought the world chart topping hits like “Single Ladies” and “Listen”. The world knows she's talented because of years of performances, her Gaga/Beyonce collaboration called “Telephone” and her phenomenal performance on the 2011 Billboard Awards... but it made me think. I realized “she can't be human... she must be a Fem-bot”!

Beyonce Billboard Awards

I wasn’t able to watch the Billboard Awards on that Sunday due to a prior engagement but I noticed that many of my friends on Facebook were mentioning Beyonce’s performance. The next morning, before beginning work, I watched her performance of “Who Run The World (Girls)" on my Optimus V, android phone and was stunned. Over the years I have seen many of her performances but this one seemed incredibly surreal. Every couple of seconds I repeated the phrase “Oh My God”. Between her dancing, looks and incredible voice, I was now convinced that she was not a human-being. My theory is that she is a Fem-bot from a distant planet that is turned on and then placed on stage. Once a show is done, she walks offstage and is powered down with the flip of a switch, to then be put back into a closet until the next performance.

Beyonce robot suit

One example of my theory is her performance of the song “Check On It” during her “The Beyonce Experience Tour” where she does “the Funky Chicken” dance. Now most people who perform this dance are kidding and realize that this dance will not showcase any kind of talent. Since Beyonce is a fem-bot who is programmed to perform flawlessly, of course she made the dance look completely legit.

Beyonce sings

Also, there isn't much drama that follows her.  Think about it. Ever since Beyonce first debuted with Destiny’s Child back in the late 90s, the only significant drama that she was involved with was the splintering of Destiny’s Child during the promotion of their single "Say My Name". Unlike other celebrities, she hasn’t been involved with a messy divorce, substance abuse, D.U.I.s., or even slandering of character. There are very few trending celebrities who have absolutely no behind-the-scenes drama. It’s because she’s a Fem-bot who is stored away, just like any appliance that isn't in use.

Beyonce Singing

Since Beyonce is the nearest thing to perfect (as a recording artist turned business woman), her financial results are through the roof. In 2009 she grossed a whopping 87 million dollars according to FORBES MAGAZINE. She has yet to turn 30 but she could retire from entertainment tomorrow and her family will be wealthy for generations. Once again, I attribute this to her being a well-oiled machine... literally!

There are many great performers in the industry but none like Beyonce. She's a BEAST! She’s one of the few female recording artists who is awesome to look at, an awesome vocalist and an awesome dancer. She’s a one woman show! The sad reality is that many contemporary artists either have great looks, great vocals or great moves. Since she's a Fem-bot, she demolishes the competition. Now that you know that Beyonce isn't human, you can now breathe easy and stop comparing yourself and others to her. We can't all be Fem-bots!

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