Building self esteem can be a way to change your life. People, who were praised, listened to and valued consistently as children have a stronger self esteem. On the other hand children that are consistently criticized, yelled at, ignored and shoved aside end up with low self esteem as adults.
If you have grown up with a lack of self esteem, it can be quite challenging to reverse the cycle and build strong self esteem within yourself. You need to make a conscious effort to change your inner voice from a negative, self-critical voice to a source of strength and support.
You may typically pretend to have high self esteem by using the "fake it till you make it strategy" where you act self confident while feeling like a failure inside. In addition, you may feel a sense of constant frustration and anger because you aren't where you want to be in life and when you compare yourself to your peers, you come up short for one reason or another. If you have low self esteem, you may excel at playing the victim role where you blame your plight on everything except yourself.
This is not to say that your external circumstances couldn't have been tough, but your response to those circumstances can be that of a victim or that of a leader.
So how do I change those constant thoughts of feeling like a failure and work on building self esteem, you ask? The answer is both simple and complex. You have to somehow convert that incessantly negative voice in your head from critical to positive. As an example, every time you catch yourself thinking you're a failure, you should fight back and argue with that voice telling it that you're not a failure because of an unlimited list of reasons.
Pull situations back to the local context. If you find yourself thinking that you've always been terrible at something, step back and think about all the times where you've not been terrible and all the ways you have improved.
If you truly don't have an aptitude for a typical task, let it go and move on. You absolutely have certain things that you are amazing at and others that you could improve on. Don't let a critical voice that developed inside you when you were a child take over the voice that you have now as an adult.
The basic tenet of building self esteem is that if you want to feel valued, you need to value yourself. Eat well â cook healthy food for yourself that is nourishing and that you enjoy. Sleep well â structure your day so that you go to bed at a decent hour. Indulge in your hobbies â do things that are fun for you, and that you are passionate about. Let it go â if something doesn't work out as planned, let it go. There is always tomorrow. Celebrate â the small and big accomplishments. Reach out â connect with friends and family. Ask for support. Build a social structure that is meaningful to you. Let it out â journal or talk to someone about your daily stresses. Work on building self esteem by resolving issues that are weighing you down.