This post is dedicated to my JC and to others who sometimes have trouble finding their sunshine after the rain

I believe life is like a huge roller coaster ride, there are the ups, and there are the downs.  Often, we cannot change the cards we are dealt.  The only thing we can control is our attitude and how we choose to deal with it.  

Of course, to some of us this is easier said then done.  We all know that we need to stay positive or make lemonade when life gives us lemons, but it is hard sometimes.  Whether you are going through a bad breakup, a lay off, humiliation, defeat, putting yourself down, hurting yourself, embarrassment, or just life gets you down  ....  here are 8 ways to bust through the negativity and get you back to your game.

1. Start the Positive Self Talk

I remember reading a book by Anthony Robbins about how destructive negative thoughts can be.  It said every time we say something negative about ourselves, it is like taking a bit of poison until one day we take enough of it, the pain becomes very real.  

So, I say stop taking the poison by stopping the negative talk.  Learn to love yourself by keeping a list of the positive qualities that you have or the skills that make you stand out. Did you win any medals in the past?  Add that to the list.  I would even add good deeds you have done.  Did you open the door for a random stranger or help someone with direction?  Add that in because every bit counts.  

The point of this exercise is to get you back on track to feeling positive.  

2. Listen to Positive or Motivational Songs

Sometimes the right positive tune can get me pumped up.  When I feel intimidated by a challenge or obstacle, the right song can help me find my motivation again.  Everyone has different songs to get them motivated so build up your list of music.  Please do not listen to break up songs or anything that may add to the negativity, it will not help.  Here are some of the motivational songs I found, do a search on Youtube for these:

  • Ariana Grande - Break Free
  • Kelly Clarkson - Catch my Breath
  • Savage Garden - Affirmation
  • Des'Ree - You Gotta Be
  • Bon Jovi - It's My Life
  • 2 Chainz - We Own It
  • Rod Stewart - Faith Of The Heart

3. Stop Moping and Take Action

When you get into the rut of things it can be hard to get out of it.  People would replay the events in their head or repeat the negative thoughts.  The only way to break this cycle is to take new action.  Start a workout or go for a long hard run, because after the workout you will feel physically exhausted but you will feel good inside.  The body releases endorphins that helps to reduce your perception of pain.  Also, working out can help improve your self esteem.  

If you are generally not a work out type then start small by going for a walk.  Try to create goals to aim towards because as you complete them, you will begin to see the changes in yourself.  

4. Meet Up with Your Friends

Call up your friends to blow off some steam.  Pour your heart out if you need to.  If you have one friend that is starting to get tired of listening to your problems then call another one.  Once you have talked it out and let the pain out of your system, then the recovery can begin.  

Another reason to meet with your friends is to also allow them to give input or advice to you.  Sometimes, when we are feeling down, we are so drowned by our pains and sorrows that we fail to see things in a new light or different perspective.  

5. Smile

Smile even when you don't want to.  Smiling makes people more attractive and more than half the time people would smile back.  I actually didn't know this but smiling actually reduces stress too, lowers the heart rate, and makes people look more successful.

Smiling can also help change your mood.  Another reason to smile more is it also makes you more approachable.  Besides you have nothing to lose by smiling.

6. Clean Your Room

Cleaning the room can help disrupt the cycle of negative thoughts and could also signify a new change.  The point of this exercise is to just break the regular pattern of how things were.  I find personally when I re-organize my room or clean it, it helps me to mentally prepare for challenges to come.  

Also, cleaning the room can also serve as a destressor.  There is a certain satisfaction after cleaning or clearing out a messy room.  

Who knows, maybe cleaning your room may help you to find some previously lost items.  

7. Keep a Journal of Your Thoughts

Get a journal and start writing your daily thoughts.  I find writing allows me to straighten out my thoughts and figure things out.  You do not need to write about anything in particular, just write what comes to mind.  Writing can also lead you to take action or motivate you to do something or anything.  

Another benefit to writing is it also allows you to look back on the things you wrote.  This will give you a view of how you have progressed and it will help you understand yourself better.

8. Stop Dwelling On Your Past

“If you have a problem that can be fixed, then there is no use in worrying. If you have a problem that cannot be fixed, then there is no use in worrying.” – Buddhist proverb

We cannot change our past so there is no point in dwelling on it.  If something happened then it happened, and move on.  This could be hard depending on the situation but in the grand scheme of things, there will be plenty of challenges coming our way, so there is no point focusing on the one that just happened. 

Besides, dwelling too much on the past could make you miss out on some future opportunity.


Not all of these suggestions may help you but do pick and choose what works for you.  The key is to just take action and change your negative mindset.  Staying negative too long can have long term repercussions to your life.  Also, I have seen people who have been negative for so long that it has left them bitter.  Life is a struggle and it will always will be.  How you choose to respond is up to you.

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't - You're Right"

- Henry Ford