Planning a wedding is one of the most stressful things a woman will ever do. Add on top of that the chaos of family and your usual real life demands of work and home and even calmest, meekest women can turn into "Bridezillas" - a crazy, screaming, hysterical bride who gets so totally wrapped up in her wedding planning that she says or does things that are not at all like her. Angers rise, things are said, people's feelings get hurt, and a day meant to celebrate the joining of two lives turns into a major nightmare.
How can you make sure that this wild transformation into Bridezilla doesn't happen to you? Here are a few tips:
Keep yourself healthy during this stressful time. If you're not at your peak performance, there's no way you're going to survive this crazy time of your life. Take a few minutes every day to make sure you eat healthy foods, drink your water, and get your rest. Most importantly, watch your weight! The last thing you need is for you to "expand" out of your dress!
Learn To Deal With Your Stress
The months leading up to your big day are some of the most exciting and stressful months of your life. Find constructive ways to deal with your stress so you do not explode, scream, cry, insult people, or destroy private property. (Yes, it has happen!) Take a walk, go out on a date with your guy, go window shopping - do something to help relieve your stress, calm your nerves, and get in touch with your inner Zen again.
Delegate, Delegate, Delegate!
You may believe that the only way you can be assured everything is exactly the way you want is to do everything for your wedding but that is so untrue! You have a fiancé, parents, and a brigade of friends and family that are willing to give you a hand – all you have to do is ask!
And no matter what they say, the guy can and should be involved in the planning of the wedding. It's his wedding too! Sit down with your fiancé at the beginning of your wedding planning and decide what you will handle and what he will handle. Maybe he'd be willing to organize the rehearsal dinner or arrange the transportation so you can center your attention on the flowers and food for the big day. Once he's taken over certain areas, let go of them – don't stress about them, don't check up on them, don't nag him about them.
Your bridesmaids and family members can do things for you too, like run wedding errands, making party favors, assembling table centerpieces, etc. Be open to accepting help from anyone – it will help relieve some of your stress.
Don't Try For The "Perfect Day"
A "perfect wedding day" is a fairy tale. You can't control everything and everyone – flowers will be late or too many guests show up or your bridesmaid arrives drunk. Instead, focus on making your wedding "fun" or "happy" or "memorable".
The best way to approach the chaos of planning a wedding is to have a few "must have perfects" and let the rest go. Maybe you're a stickler for perfect flowers but don't care if the party favors slip or that the bridesmaids don't have matching shoes. Cherry pick what's important to you and let the rest land where they may.
Connect With Your Fiancé Often
The chaos of a wedding can take over your life and easily drive a wedge between you and your love. Make it a point to plan at least one evening a week with your fiancé. Don't spend this time talking about the wedding, make favors, or lay out the seating chart but rather to reconnect with one another. Go to a movie, go out to eat, or stay in and watch some Netflix. This special time together will help to remind you why you're getting married in the first place.
Focus On The WE, Not ME
You'll hear brides say all the time, "This is my special day!" or "This is MY wedding!" WRONG! This wedding is for both of you. Don't ever forget that!
Important decisions like your wedding venue and menu should be decided on unilaterally. Ask your fiancés opinion about things and see what he has to say. Try to incorporate parts of what he like and what you like to make the ceremony and reception something special for both of you.
No matter how badly the caterer screws up the menu, no matter how crazed your wedding plans make you, it's important that you stay calm and polite. As the old saying goes, you'll catch more bees with honey than vinegar. You'd be amazed at what you can get people to do if you ask politely, say please and thank you, and show that you truly appreciate their help, even after they completely screw something up.
Don't be Self-Centered
After spending every waking hour of the last 9 to 12 months of your life planning your wedding, it can be hard to remember that the whole world doesn't revolve around your nuptials too. So don't scream at your bridesmaids when they forget their shoes for the dressing fitting or the best man has to bring his kids to the rehearsal because he couldn't get a babysitter. Stop, take a deep breath, and remember that other people have a life too.
Stop Trying to Impress Your Guests
Whenever you start to travel down the nitpicking road of bridal shame, it's time to take a step back and remember why exactly you're getting married. It's not to show off and impress your friends and family but rather to celebrate the joining of your two lives. Will the color of the salad plates really make a difference? Keeping things in this sort of perspective will not only help you keep you focused but also lessen your stress.
As you buy your dress and all of your accessories, take a moment to contemplate your comfort. I'm sure those four-inch heels make you salivate, but will you really be comfortable dancing and walking in them for 4+ hours? Probably not. You might want to find some more comfortable pumps or ballet shoes so you can walk around your reception and smile instead of grimacing at the pain in your toes.
This is the most important thing to do on your wedding day. After the months of planning, the arguments, the money, you finally get to reap the rewards of all your hard work. Make sure to enjoy it! Party away the night - dance, eat, be merry. You only get married once, right?