Most of us desire a relationship.


Yet, to have a real chance to have a long-term relationship, we have to choose the best mate for ourselves.

If you are already in a relationship, this article will remind you of why you chose your mate and give you the strength you need to tweak some things so that your relationship can continue to move forward.

Some could be reading this article who no longer have someone and as you read on, you will be able to understand why the mate you chose was not the best fit for you.

Others could be reading this article who hope to be in a life time relationship and want advice on the best steps to take before choosing her.

1. There are many women to choose from, but not all of them are the best choice for us obviously.

I use to believe there was only one true love for us, but I no longer believe that. The reason is when I was in college, I thought I had met THE ONE!

There was a guy(before I realized I was really a lesbian)who was very inspirational in my life my first year of college.

Not only did he help me develop a relationship with my higher power, but he also helped me realize my passion for helping others.

The guy and I spent a lot of time together and we both started having feelings for each other. He was the first person I took home to meet my mom and my friends loved him. We had God and the passion for helping others in common.

He was handsome and nice to. He honestly could have dated anyone he wanted on campus.

The problem was that he was graduating a few years before me and was moving back to California.

I waited for this guy for ten years believe it or not and finally decided to move on with my life with the realization that he was not the best mate for me.

After that experience,  I was so discouraged because I had mastered being single and was ready to spend a life time with someone.

2. Look for/attract the right type of person.

I finally realized the reason I was not choosing the best mate for myself is because I was looking for a man but should have been looking for a WOMAN.

Moreover, when I started looking for the woman of my dreams, I was not as patient as I should have been.

3. Being patient is huge!

I wanted my partner and I wanted her yesterday. When I finally met my partner of almost five years, I threw caution to the wind.

She was what I was looking for and I was ready to get to the everlasting part as soon as possible.

My impatience led to us having to work through so many issues that should have been worked out in the early stages of our relationship.

I was so impatient because my partner had the traits I was looking for in a mate: attractive, a go getter, has kids already, we both were ready for a long tem relationship, and are a great balance for each other.

4. Build a friendship first. 

I should have spent more time in the beginning building a friendship with my partner in order to work through our personality differences, learn more about each other, and simply enjoy just being friends first.

5. Make sure you know what you want or what type of woman is best for you.

If you have not taking the time to really understand yourself and the traits you need in a woman to go the distance with, please do so. 

You may be surprised at how your list changes.

6. There is plenty of time to get physical, so don't get to that part too quickly.

Sex very well could cloud your judgement.  You may think that you`re in love and may just be in lust because of great sex.

7. Don't settle!

Why not get to know the ends and outs of your potential mate.

You are looking to spend a long-term or a life time with an awesome woman so do your due diligence as you look for the mate that is best for you.

Even Dr.Phil and his wife Robin waited three years before getting married because they wanted to work the kinks out of their relationship before they got married.

Finally, there are never any guarantees no matter how much preparation is made when choosing the mate that is best for you, but we can do our due diligence to make the best choice for ourselves to give the relationship a chance to last a life time.