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Choosing the Right Partner for Marriage

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 1 2
How to Find the Perfect Partner
Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ag2r/7134946449

Choosing the right partner and experiencing love is one desire we all aspire to as humans. It’s normal, it’s good, it’s life and living at its best. No wonder Leo Buscaglia said, “Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.”

In order not to miss life, find an ideal mate but the journey starts with you knowing what you want and being the best that you can be (no matter the circumstances).

When you get a full grasp of these two areas and stay positive, you will be able to attract your future partner and significantly apprehend the opportunities when they surface.

But, before you decide to find your soul mate, first find and discover yourself.

  • Discover Yourself

This means being happy with your life, job, relationships and even singlehood. Being happy about your single status is really key as you find many people unhappy just because they’re single. Please, don’t fall into this trap! Relieve and enjoy every moment of being single because marriage takes away much of the freedom that being single brings; doing this will make you more attractive to the opposite sex.

  • List the Qualities You Want in a Partner

Have a clear idea of the sort of person you would like to be with, don't sell yourself short or be unrealistic. Get a sheet of paper and list all the qualities you want in your partner.

Ideal marriage partner characteristics include:

*Demographics (where the person is staying)

* Interests, hobbies, talents, skills, intellect (singing, drawing, dancing, etc)

* Values, beliefs, character (Christian, Moslem, etc)

* Physical qualities (tall, dark, short, beautiful, handsome, etc)

* Age group (20s, 30s, 40s, 50s or less than)

* Finances (must be comfortable or just coming up)

* Marital status (single, divorced, separated, etc)

* With or without children

There is magic in clarifying what you want in life, on paper. Do not be surprised if this person walks into your life in the very near future. Be open and allow them to come in through any door.

But when they come in, you have a duty to keep them for the long haul. And to successfully do that, you have to develop those qualities you want in your ideal partner, in yourself. And that leads me to the next point:

  • Work on Yourself

Always follow the wise advice given by Russ Von Hoelscher “Don't rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other.”

If you want a caring partner and you realise you’re not caring, you have to start cultivating the habit, otherwise, you won’t be able to attract a caring person into your life. If you want a happy partner, start getting into the happiness mode. In essence, you attract who you are, so, work on yourself before looking for a partner.  

  • Look for a Partner

Most singles think it’s a passive venture, it’s not. You have to actively look for a partner, you can’t wait for the right partner to fall in your laps; you must work for it by showing up at the right places, instead of sitting at home and sulking over your single status. While socialising, please be your self and be approachable. Keep no false airs around you, be down-to-earth, that’s the only way to attract your kind of partner.

  • Be Flexible in Your Dating Choices

 Even though they say first impressions last long, always keep an open mind, especially if a prospect does not look like a perfect match at first glance. Familiarize yourself with him (or her) and let nature take its course. You may be pleasantly surprised to grow to like such a person, overtime.

  • Throw Past Prejudices Away

Due to past experience, you may have decided not to date a certain group of persons (male or female) but that would not help you as you cannot put all (men or women) in a certain group because one man didn’t treat you right. Stop prejudging potential partners; be open to them to avoid missing the opportunity of finding the one that’s right for you.

  • Consider the People Around You

It’s common to overlook the people around you when your singular focus is finding the perfect partner. It’s most likely you’ve concluded they don’t fit the bill and will remain just acquaintances but take a step backwards and look at some of the people you already know and have dated in the past. Chances are some of them have fallen in love with you but cannot say it because you’re not giving them the chance. Give them a second chance. Most times, our decision to be flexible can make us see things in a different light and who knows, a relationship may ensue between you and an old flame.

Summary and Action Points

It’s possible to land your ideal partner but, you must be prepared to

  • Discover Yourself
  • List the Qualities You Want in a Partner
  • Work on Yourself
  • Look for a Partner
  • Be Flexible in Your Dating Choices
  • Throw Past Prejudices Away
  • Consider the People Around You

Follow these 7 steps and land your soul mate, sooner than you ever imagined! With a soul mate, you can have a happy marriage and bright future. But if you are one of those asking why you should marry, consider this: married people live longer, healthier, happier, sexier, and more affluent lives. And if you're thinking I made this up, please know it's according to scientific evidence on the consequences of marriage for adults.

This research supports a mountain of evidence that it's not good for a man or woman to live alone - just as we have it in the Book of Genesis (in the Bible). And even though many people have their versions of marriage (single parenthood, live-in-lovers, etc), it's obvious that marriage is beneficial in more ways than one.

As much as these tips can help you choose the right marriage partner, I feel you need a more lengthy resource like a book and that is why I'm introducing you to a 72-page book by Joyce Tohline. It's on choosing right and builds on the concepts you've been introduced to in this article. Get more information about the book below.
Choosing Right: How to Find God's Will when Choosing a Marriage Partner
Amazon Price: $5.99 $4.15 Buy Now
(price as of Aug 30, 2013)
This completely readable book by Joyce Tohline will help you make up your mind as regards who to spend your life with. It has actionable points and distils the marriage choosing process in so much detail. It's a must-have if you're considering who to marry, among your prospects. Get this book and marry with confidence!


Dec 7, 2012 10:06am
Hi--as a person who thinks and writes a lot about relationships I really enjoyed your article and its insights. 2 big thumbs up from me
Dec 7, 2012 10:21pm
Marlando,Thanks. I really appreciate this.
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  1. Nagesh Belludi "Inspirational Quotations by Leo Buscaglia." Inspirational Quotations Compiled by Nagesh Belludi. 28/11/2010. 7/12/2012 <Web >
  2. Rebecca "16 Interesting Quotes on Relationships." Life Lists. 24/09/2008. 7/12/2012 <Web >
  3. Maggie Gallagher "Why Marriage Is Good For You." City Journal. 8/12/2012 <Web >

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