Christmas and Birthday Gifts Sign of Bad Parenting?
There are difficult children. There are children who become difficult because of lack of parental guidance. Are parents responsible for bad behavior in their children when they give them Christmas or birthday gifts?
The problem with any form of giving to children is teaching them to be appreciative. Christmas and birthday gifts have created a situation in which children expects gifts and parents feel obligated to buy. Some children have been known to cry or throw away their gifts because they don't like them. Parents are partly to blame for subscribing to the "give at a particular date" culture. The surprise element is gone so children wait expecting gifts they don't even deserve. Yes parents are responsible for creating bad behavior in their children. If your child is disobedient or lazy at school, he should get nothing for Christmas or birthday (only food and water, not even soda).
Do you feel guilty when your child wants something and you can't afford it? That can be normal, what about yearly gifts like for birthdays and Christmas? Should you buy gifts for your children's birthday or for Christmas?
That is a personal decision. However, parents should not buy birthday or Christmas gifts for their children if they cannot afford it. Furthermore, children should not be always allowed to choose the type of gifts they want. What if is the point of being a parent if you let your children decide everything they want (power to the parents)? If your child really wants a gift, he should go out and get a job to pay for it (toddlers are no exception). You can also set up a piggy bank for your children's birthday or Christmas gifts, they only get what the money in the piggy bank can buy. You need to start teaching them that money doesn't fall from trees and if there is no money for birthday or Christmas gifts, they get nothing.
There are a lot of bad parents out there. What constitute bad parenting in one culture might be considered good parenting in another. Does it make you a bad parent if you don't buy Christmas or birthday gifts for your children?
Your children will not be taken away from you just because you don't want to buy birthday or Christmas gifts for them. No social worker will drag you to court for that. Your children will probably compare you to other parents who buy expensive gifts for their children (he can move in with them). Don't be impressed by that comparison. If your child wants an Ipad for his birthday or Christmas and you can only afford a t-shirt, you will still be compared to other parents. It doesn't make you a bad parent just because you don't believe in the hype of Christmas and birthday gifts. There are worse things that can happen to your children (abandon or violence).