Just as many are entering into marriage, many are seeking a way out of it. In today's world, it is not uncommon to hear of two love birds proudly saying "I do" and a few months down the line say "I quit". Why the decline in so many marriages today? One key reason is a lack of communication. You can liken it to a couple preparing to take a long trip; their destination is to a peaceful resort. Of course, one will be driving, while the other gives directions using a map. In order to arrive at their destination safely and peacefully, they need to communicate. Just how do one communicate properly and effectively? Let's consider 5 ways:
Show Mutual Respect
A relationship cannot strive in an environment where two people do not lovingly respect one another. If a husband fails to show his wife that he cherishes her as a person, her thoughts and feelings, he can in turn put a strain on their relationship. A husband should dignify his wife and honor her; after all they are one flesh. A wife can be wise also by not using her strengths to down play her husband in any kind of way. Instead of speaking sharp with him, she shows him respect by considering her tone of voice and weighing her words carefully. If you are parents, working to show this type of mutual respect sets a fine example for your children.
A husband and wife should do their utmost to listen carefully to one another with the intent of understanding. Many couples feel that when they try to communicate, it goes in one ear and right out the other with their mates. Listen without interrupting your spouse and really try to understand why he or she feels that way. And remember, when frustration is present or one is heated, thoughtless words can easily be expressed. Instead of taking these expressions personally, try to get to the root of the matter. Being overly offended can make matters worse.
In a marriage it is very easy to point the finger at the other. Instead of pointing the finger, try taking a step back and looking at yourself. Ask yourself: What areas can I improve in to help better my marriage? When we do this it helps us to realize that we too have things to work on. You can even ask your spouse: What could I do to help improve our relationship? This will help them to appreciate that you take your marriage seriously and that you really want to make it work. You both can try writing a list of things you would like to improve in and then each week take one of those things and work on it. At the end of the month, discuss how you did and if more work needs to be done.
Avoid the “Silent Treatment”
One of the worst things that couples do after an argument or a disagreement is giving each other the “silent treatment.” This prideful attitude does nothing to support healthy communication. The cold silence only contributes to making matters worse. Some couples go to the extent of allowing themselves to keep silent for days. This is not how two mature persons communicate together. Being married does not mean that you will always agree on matters but it does mean respecting each other’s feelings and points of view. Efforts to understand your mate and come to an agreement works much better than the childish “silent treatment” game.
Know Your Spouse
In order to communicate well and at the right time, you need to know and understand your mate’s personality, emotions, and so forth. Perhaps your mate is not much of a morning person, therefore, trying to talk about something important in the morning would not be a good time to talk. If your mate work a full time job, maybe waiting to he or she gets settled in from work would be better than jumping right into an important conversation. Knowing your mate will help you to know what right words to say or what not to say. Overall, it would help you with being a good communicator.
Marriage is not always easy, but it can be a success. If you and your spouse do your part, your love will continue to grow and your marriage will be a lasting one.