The Essential of Gaining Confidence for a Guy
Have you always been shy when it comes to talking to new girls you met? Though you really don't want to confront them and talk to them because you think that would be awkward for a guy that she never met before to come up to her and start talking. And then when the new girl comes up and starts talking, you’re nervous and can't relax and be yourself. That can be such of a burden to anyone who suffers that sort of personal issue, knowing that there are just some people who are simply savvy and have a good way with words.
Now first of all, you can’t approach a girl cold, and start talking to her. Even with a stranger you don’t find attractive could possibly freak out if you start talking to them like you knew them well. There is no easy way of being relaxed in a situation that makes you nervous. Having said that, making a plan of the types of things you would say in a certain situation always is recommended so you are not standing there like a lemon with nothing to say as she walks off.
Anyone would always and commonly feel awkward about their appearance and the perceived impression of them on the person they like. How you fight through it is what you need to work on, not eradicating obvious tells of being interested in a person. Best thing you can do is jump in the deep end and put yourself out there, make conversation and be your true core personality and not the “look at me, I’m this and that” or the “nehh, I’d most likely be turned down if I’d try, why bother?” personality.
Now try these, I know this would help you. You’d lose nothing, except with your face if you still fail (which only means you still lack practice or you may not have understood well the tips and exercises provided), but you’re not the only with the same problem. Think “Big” for Chri… cheesecakes.
- Try to go to places the beach, pier, park, amusement park, etc. or places like that, and practice on girls that you don't know. So that there's no emotional attachment, and no loss or feeling of rejection if they just walk away, you know? Like who cares if she walks away, there will be another one coming right up anyway.
- Schools are brilliant for meeting situations as people are forced into a small confined area in lessons and at break/lunch time so you have no excuses when it comes to 'not having the opportunity. Only recommended for those who are still studying and actually still go to school, otherwise you’d look like a “you know what” if you do so. What sick kind of a person would go to random schools just to hit some chicks inside the school premises anyway? Oh well, just a thought.
- What you should do is first make eye contact and smile J at the girl-- no talking. If she makes eye contact back, and better yet, if she smiles, that's great! But if a girl doesn’t make eye contact, or smile, ignores you, etc., then she's not down. By all means necessary, do not fail to turn into the signals girls are giving you. Girls would be crept out if a guy came to talk to them cold; it's too obvious. But if you eyed her, or smiled, she’d think that's gentle, and friendly, and keeping your self being at the right distance. By then afterwards, start with small moves like smiling and say “Hi, I'm [insert your name here]" (It's the universal best opening line, mind you) “How yah doin’?” then you guys will start a small talk eventually after and the rest will develop naturally. Try not to get too cocky and fresh as though you both already knew each other for a long time. It only happens in the movies where guys immediately get the lady he wants by just blurting out suave punch lines like “Girl you must be tired, coz you've been running trough my mind all day!"--- This is reality; keep your feet on the floor.
Don't forget the important part of "tuning in" to a girl's space and what she is like, and what “signals” she is giving you. *reminder: cracking appropriate short jokes would only work (especially when that’s where you really are the best in the field) if the said signals are plain to see, thus very obvious that she likes you. A lot like an improvisation that perfectly fits your personality, otherwise you’d crash-land from mid-air.
Now here’s a much more elaborated guide for the tip mentioned above. Well, to make it a lot clearer for every one to understand.
Girls are like wolves, they can smell when you are not confident or scared. So start off, tell yourself that you can talk to anyone and remember the worst case scenario on what they can possibly do based on trying to have a harmless conversation with them; there could be chances they’ll blow you off. Sure it is a blow to self-esteem but hey, just move on then. Don’t go trying to linebacker rush the nearest girl. Again, try to make eye contact first, which is yet the primary and initial strike a man should do because the eyes tell every thing that is going on inside them. If you manage to make eye contact start slowly working your way over to them, don’t rush or you will appear desperate and that is a no-no. As you approach them, survey your surroundings and see what she is wearing, what she is doing and especially if she has any friends around. Next is say something that can get the conversation moving and don’t use normal punch lines because girls now days are immune to them. Now all the inspecting you did while walking up to her pays off. If she is looking at jewelry, start a conversation about jewelry and don’t lie. Don’t try to nuke the subject like just a casual conversation. Then introduce yourself because if she stuck around for the first part, they eye contact thingy, you are on firmer ground. Whatever you do, don’t use some cheesy line like, “I love that name” or something like that. Then ask her what she is doing (only if it is not painfully obvious). The trick is to keep the ball in her court with you in control by you pitching questions she needs in terms of politeness to field most of them. Now comes the fun part depending on what you looking for depends on where you go from here. If you are just looking to be social then kind of steer the conversation around in safe waters while watching her body signs. If she starts looking fidgety or like she has to go somewhere be polite and excuse yourself instead of her telling you she has to go. If you are looking for info on what to do to pick the chicks up for a date, well that is a different story. Just remember that you need to be confident that you can talk to anyone, be observant to her surroundings and be observant to her body signs. Get these things down and you will be a master, hopefully by sheer effort.
Yes, absolutely, being confident with your self is an essential element to live a life more comfortably that we most deserve. It can be gained by is solely being a charismatic and effective speaker and a strategic communicator. Life’s a lot easier when you’re a good talker, you know? Catching your self tongue tied in front of a girl is just nothing compared with what’s really going on around the world--- conflicts, killing, corruption and stuff. The point is that this thing is just a very tiny problem like of a spec and need not to be magnified. Geez, give your self a break.