Control Your Own Destiny



Find Our Why Life is What You Make it

By: J. Marlando


I am about to tell you about how extremely empowered you are to control events in your life; not only that you are but how you are and why you are! I Am also going to give you an intelligent reason why you can't die...well, at least in the traditional sense and, I am going to tell you how to manifest a good and happy life for yourself. I do not ask that you believe what I am saying, only that you give it your most conscientious thoughts and decide for yourself.

I suppose some readers won't get it and scoff at this material but, I believe, those who do "get it" will benefit and begin redesigning their lives in constructive, positive ways. I say "redesigning" because most everyone has been indoctrinated to feel far more the victim than victor. We'll be getting into this on a later page. In the meantime I want you to know that I've touched upon some of the topics to follow in other articles I've written. I feel compelled, however, to devote an entire article not only to affirmations but to the web of events and relationships that are weaved together by making them.

Be prepared for an extensive read but one I believe can reward you perhaps more than you ever thought possible will have experienced at least some positive change by the time you've reached the last page of this narrative.

First, however, we need to agree what the term affirmation means. For purposes here it simply means "something said to be true." 

With this in mind, we will begin.

What We Project is What We Get

We are all subject to our childhood experiences. We are a product of how much or little love, tolerance and attention we were given in our earlier childhoods. Indeed, we carry that child within throughout our lives. Convicts and Congress people have this in common just as all the rest of us do. For one thing our brains are basically a blank slate when we are born but with the capacity to adapt to countless experiences. For example, if you are  Caucasian and happened to be born Japanese, Thai, black, brown or red, your entire world experience would be different and so would your reality. Reality you see is by and large a projection.

What we project is always reflected and how we see a thing is what that thing becomes. I have often used this example: Call a rose bush a thorn bush and that is exactly what it will be...for you.

aaffCredit: wwwaaffCredit: www

If you don't believe this, the molecular biologist, Darryl Reanney, tells us that, "...The eye of a bee can see ultraviolet light, which we cannot. When a bee sees  certain kinds of flowersaffCredit: it sees strange markings invisible to us. Thos markings map out a guidance grid, a landing track, to steer the bee toward the source of the flower's nectar. 

"So what the bee sees is not what we see. Which picture of the flower is 'true' then? The bee's or ours?"

In regard to what is being said here, when Captain Cook and his crew came ashore on the Hawaiian Islands, he had to leave his ship a few yards out because of the shallow shoreline. The Physicist, Fred Alan Wolf,  tells the rest of the story: "Cook pointed the ship out to the native Hawaiians. They didn't see it. If fact, even when Cook rowed back out to the sailing ship with some of the natives, those natives still failed to see it. They didn't see it until they nearly had their noses pressed against its sides.

  "Why? Because they didn't believe that any ships could be built like the giant sailing ship. They had never seen a ship that big before, and so why believe in something that you have never experienced in your life."

If some reader doubts the above story, the very same thing was observed by Charles Darwin with the large sailing ship named the Beagle. Again the big ship was anchored away from the shallow waters near the Galapagos Islands. And again, the native islanders there could NOT see the ship, as the physicist, Jeremy W. Hayward reports, "even when it was pointed out to them...they could clearly see the small rowing boats ferrying the crew between the Beagle and the island, which were probably about the size of their own canoes. But they could not see anything on the horizon that they recognized as a ship."

Returning to Reanney for a moment and the topic of how we see the world we live in, he states: "We feel that if we were to vanish, that the outside world would still go on, that it exists separately from us.

Well doesn't it? No, or at least certainly not the way we think."

And so, if we've paid attention to what has been said in the above, the old axiom proves absolutely true: The world really is what we make it.

Common Indoctrinations

affCredit: org

Nearly all of us are indoctrinated by the significant others in our lives, especially when we are children. One of the first lessons we are given is that the world (out there) is difficult, challenging and...dangerous. This information is what we build our worldview on and so, as a result, we project a world that is difficult, challenging and dangerous. We are told to beware of liars, thieves and cheats as many will arrive in our lives to hurt and betray us.

By teaching us these things our conscientious parents are doing their best to warn us of the perils that exist in the world outside ourselves. And, it is true, there are negative coincidences just as there are positive ones. A fallen rock, however, has no target. If it strikes you and hurts you, you were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Only human beings can plot and plan evil but even so, everything that happens to us is either by chance or choice. Choice is one of our most powerful commodities...after all if you happen to be in an unhappy circumstance right now, do not blame the circumstance but rather yourself for the chain event of choices you've made that have led you to where you're presently at. In this way, each of us are exactly where we are by our own volition.

This is difficult for many people to accept because so many people are indoctrinated to believe they are forever the victim of others or even of their circumstances. As someone once said in regard to this, however, there are no victims only volunteers.

When a person can fully realize this, their world view changes. Their world, if you will, suddenly brightens because they are freed from the encumbrances of believing that the world acts on them...while, at the same time, realizing that the truth is just the other way around. That is, each individual acts upon the world and this is why Carl Jung's theory of "synchronicity" plays a strong role in all our lives even though most people either reject the idea that they are behind their own good or bad fortune. We will also discuss synchronicity on a later page.

Part of the reason that the majority of people do not realize that they are part of the process of creating the reality in which they live is because there has been so many disappointments in the books, videos and other positive thinking media. You cannot simply think yourself rich; into a better job or owning a new Mercedes. All these accomplishments take human actionaffCredit: However, according to quantum physics the world out there is the result of a countless range of options. The flowers in your garden will be different in my world than yours so each of us are, indeed, part of the creative process. (Recall the story of the island natives who could not bring a giant ship into their reality).

Nearly all our indoctrinations are contaminating to us. Racism and sexism, for example, are learned prejudices. We were not born making value judgments, we were actually indoctrinated in at least most of our feelings and beliefs about others. What is most important to know about this is that the other becomes what we project him or her to be.

In fact, the married person who calls his marriage lousy and his mate inept, will live his marriage life in that reality. This incidentally can change by merely changing the symbolism and so consciously naming the marriage happy and content and the mate wonderful and loving. I repeat how we project a thing is what it becomes, recall how the rose bush becomes the thorn bush!


In regard to all this, we live our lives mostly in symbol and myth. In fact, returning to Darryl Reanney, he tells us that, "The way we visually 'decode' the world in our brains has much in common with the way we decode language in our minds...When you read the words on this page, what is happening is that a particular pattern of electromagnetic (light) waves is exciting the retina of your eyes, and the brain is translating that pattern into meaningful images on the basis of past experiences. You can read these words not because your eyes are physically transmitting encrypted messages to your mind, but because during childhood you learned to recognize sets of symbols and to understand the grammatical relationship among them. It is this learned 'structure' in the brain that is actually doing the seeing."

This is applicable to how we "see" our world. If the significant others in our lives taught us that people are basically evil, the world is cruel and those folks with different features and customs are "below" ourselves, then these are how our brains will project the world, giving it these realities.

As a result of the above, it will serve all of us to keep alert to how we think and feel about a thing and how we have been indoctrinated to think and feel about a thing. For an example of what is being said here, there has never been a Muslim born hating Americans or the English or any other non-Muslim. Yet there are those who murder innocent people and foolishly hope to become a martyr because of how they have been indoctrinated.aaffCredit:

And so to be free and therefore happy and content it becomes essential to leave ALL our indoctrinations by the wayside and return to seeing life as a great joy and curiosity.

Adopting a New World View



Most basically at least by the time that we are in our teens we are feeling isolated and alone in a world of others. A reason for this is because our brains have been taught by the authority in our lives that living life is "Darwinistic." And so we project life  in a "survival of the fittest" mode where the rich and strong win and everyone else struggles.

While there is a certain amount of truth in the above view. (Most certainly all governments create elite systems but this is a subject for another article). What is important to grasp here, however, is that part of our socialization included the belief that we are separate from everything and everybody else.  Thus, we were indoctrinated to live in the center with the rest of the world surrounding us.

As a quick aside, this is precisely what is behind all wars and so the torture and suffering of human beings. Each country, race and religion deems itself in the center with everyone  and everything else outside of it. Hitler's Germany is always the best example of what is being said here. This is of course egocentric but after all the ego lives focused on the isolated self being the center of the universe. This is why so many people can walk passed or over the hungry and homeless so easily. They are comprehended as being outside one's own center. In the far reaches of this, all things, including people are considered expendable that are outside one's own center. This, in itself, has brought more pain and anguish to the world than anything else.

A truth granted us by quantum physics, however, is most simply that we cannot separate what we see from the act of seeing. Recall everything we think we see out there is merely the brain's interpretation. I repeat we each project the world that we live in. This incidentally does NOT mean there is no actual objects in the world, it merely means that we see them as we interpret them and not as they truly are. Yes, this means that there is no separation, at least in the common meaning of the term, between the person seeing and what is being seen. In other words, the tree outside your window is really not "over there" as we are used to thinking things are. And anyway, the tree would not exist, as you see it, without you observing it.  

 All that is important to grasp here is that we each live in a universe that we are united with. There are NO centers and so, in actuality, there is only unity; a oneness!

With the above in mind, the next time you see a homeless person or a person in a swanky limousine, a person of a different race, religion or gender; fat or thin, smarter or dumber, richer or poorer you'll know that we are all the same and our differences are merely apparent.

Once you comprehend this, your world will begin to brighten and unfold in a more loving, kinder and happier way; a way that gives you a connectedness to everything and everyone else. As a result you will enjoy a greater empathy as you make your way through the noise and confusion of your everyday life. Indeed, you will naturally stop perceiving the world though the constant judgments of your ego-self and begin to receive the world as it manifests before you; you will begin walking your path in tolerance, understanding, forgiveness and love. You will have created your new world view.

Creating Positive Coincidences


We have been given a lot to think about in the above but the major point has been to show how we are behind the realities we live in. Indeed, we can go through our entire lives projecting dead ends for ourselves by seeing the world as a complex system of barriers such as we're not pretty enough, or wealthy enough, or talented enough or we fear rejection or failure too much to forge ahead. This takes us back to that old Ford axiom that tells us if we think we can or if we think we can't...we are right.

Another problem is that we westerners are all indoctrinated to accept causality as being behind everything that happens to us. That is, to believe that there is an objective cause behind each effect. Carl Jung changed this for a great many people starting way back in 1929 when he introduced the ancient Eastern belief in synchronism. That is that positive coincidences occur in all our lives. He called this phenomenon "synchronicity."

Synchronicity was developed by the famous psychologist, Carl Jung and the famous physicist, Wolfgang Pauli. Fundamentally they concluded that there are no accidents in life but rather that everything (meaningful) that happens to us is something Jung called "a causal parallelisms." At bottom line, this simply refers to two or more events that seemingly occur "accidentally" but has significant meaning to us. For a most simple explanation: A wife and husband are at home eating dinner. Wife says, "do you realize that we haven't drunk wine with a meal for such a long time."

"I was just thinking about that," Husband replies. "In fact, do you remember where we were at?"

"I do," Wife declares. "We were at that fancy Italian restaurant with Julie Barnes. You know I've often wondered what ever became of her. We were always going to keep in touch but...well, things happen."

"Well, I haven't thought of her for years but this wine certainly reminded me of her and that wonderful restaurant we ate at."

Quite suddenly the phone rings. Wife answers it and quite suddenly she is excited, "Good gosh," she announces to her husband, "It's Julie Barnes...I can't believe it...Hi Julie, we were just talking about you!"

These kinds of events is what synchronicity is all about: Not as "pure chance happenings" but rather meaningful occurrences that unfold for us all along our way: Something that occurs in our lives when at least two events are connected in a positive coincidence as demonstrated in the above story of a wife, husband and old friend.

Jung told us that such coincidences were far too "coincidental" to happen by chance but that they were meaningful events demonstrating the interconnectedness of Nature and those occurrences that defy our concepts of time and space where events necessarily follow a cause of some kind.     

F. David Peat, an expert on synchronicity refers to it as, "The bridge between matter and mind." When we look at synchronicity like this we can easily start reminiscing positive thinking theories but I strongly  suggest that it is "open thinking" that permit positive things to happen to us. It simply makes common sense that being open gives Nature the greater opportunity to work throughus than any concentrated effort could. In fact, concentrated efforts are, by and large, closed systems and this is why meditation seeks to empty the mind of all thought. One must be absolutely "open minded" to experience enlightenment.

Being open means without prejudice and/or judgment; to walk our paths without malice, hatefulness or resentment. This means surrendering to the now; to caress one moment after the next and so to simply live life without having expectations or anticipations. This of course means to let loose of your ego, that part of your psyche that separates you from all else and keeps you believing you are in the center. And so, the closer you can get to a state of absolute openness the more positive coincidences will begin occurring in your life. And, the happier, wealthier and more loving you will be.

Comprehending Life as Consciousness


By now most readers should be realizing that they are far more empowered (even magical) than they ever conceived themselves as being.  For one thing, none of us are mere wonderers lost in a maze starting at the entrance, called birth, and ending at the exit, called death. We are eternal, coming and going, in the dance of the universe. After all we are part of the whole or, as the physicist, David Bohm called it, "The implicate order."

As a quick aside, since the unfolding of modernism's reductionism and dead-world theory lots of folks scoff at the idea of life after life but I am convinced that nothing that lives can least in the existential sense that most people subscribe to. What most stirred this recognition for me was so many reports of NDEs and simply observing Nature. I was also convinced by  Joseph Chilton Pearce who made this most elegant statement:  “Mind mirrors the universe that mirrors man’s mind. Creator and Created give rise to each other.”

I am aware that some readers will wonder why I would bring up immortality in this particular piece but I am convinced that a value of consciousness is energy and energy cannot be destroyed. Thus death, as the finale of life, cannot be true since death cannot be a feature of consciousness. This observation alone should uplift a great many readers who have convinced themselves that there is no meaning or purpose to what we call "life." And this takes us back to the topic of synchronicity which necessarily suggests meaning beyond the aspects of time, space and matter. After all, positive coincidences, in Jungian terms, cannot be random events. Something to think about!

In regard to the above, a major reason why most humans feel so vulnerable is because they have been indoctrinated to believe that consciousness is located in the brain and since the brain is mere matter we are most apt to fall into the trappings of the reductionists (Many of which deny that there is consciousness at all and see us more like gene machines running around only thinking we are conscious).

Consciousness, however, is not confined to our brains but, even according to renowned neuroscientists like Candice Perk, consciousness is throughout our entire bodies. It is the "I" of us! However, there is also consciousness outside ourselves which is the collective mind. The collective mind can also be called God or Universal Mind or Universal Consciousness and whenever we think or speak or feel, we are tapping into it.  It might be said that this is our pathway to the web of relationships with everything else; our connectedness to the physical world and what we have named the spiritual world. Just remember that  Jung taught that mind (or psyche) outside the body was the world that indigenous people like the Aborigines are aware of and experience.

In any case, this external, collective consciousness is what permits us (most usually unconsciously) to tap into the power of the universe. That is to create the realities of our lives not so much unlike a painter painting a landscape and then entering the picture he's created. I repeat, when we name the rose bush a thorn bush that is what it becomes for us.

If the above is true and I convinced that it is, the question becomes how then do we manifest the positive in our lives? We will discuss that next.



First we will question how we became "what" we are, a scholar or laborer; doctor, car mechanic, tile setter, politician, actor; butcher, baker or candlestick maker. If you are lucky, your parents told you when you were a child that you could be "anything" that you chose to be. This is not a mere metaphor for inspiration but a universal truth. While it is true if you happened to be born with one arm you can't "choose" to be a great juggler but this, in itself, is merely a physical restriction not a debilitating disability. My cousin Ken, for example, was born with one arm and today he is successfully retired and a darned good golfer. Remember, in most instances, if we think we can...we can. (I say "in most instances" since we can't overrule Nature).

Before we get into the "power" of thinking, however, we need to explore how "things" come into being in the first place. Since it is valid to say that the observer and observed is one, then it takes consciousness to manifest the world "out there." In this way, you are a participant in manifesting the flowers in your garden. And what this means is that the physical world, as we see and comprehend it, belongs to the world of the psyche.

What becomes difficult to grasp is that each of our minds are connected to a "sea of mind" and so each of us are in connectedness to everything and everyone else. This is a reason why the tree in your yard looks nearly the same to your spouse, children and neighbors as it does to you...our connectedness!

Our "connectedness" is not just a concept of theoretical physicists but of the very ancient sages as well. Wang Shihuai told us the universe is all mind and all phenomenon. Buddha taught that we are all one with the Universe and that when we change ourselves we change our circumstances.  And Jesus said, "Holy Father, keep through thine own name those  that thou has given me, that they may become one, as we..." In the U.S., Thoreau taught that, "Nature is the incarnation of thought" and "The world is the mind precipitated" Ralph Waldo Emerson also believed that there is spiritual unity in all things. It is this unity this oneness that makes affirmations so very powerful in the external world.

As I have written in other articles most folks are in the habit of accidentally creating affirmations in their lives such as:

I'm not feeling well...

I hate my job...

It just makes me sick...

I never had the talent...

I could never do that...

My life is so boring...

My marriage just isn't happy...

The negatives go on and on and on and if we say them enough our body-brains will begin believing them and supply the chemicals that will confirm that what you say is true. And, remembering that how we project the world, the world becomes we clearly become a strong force in "creating" the path of our own destinies.

The old positive thinking advocates knew this intuitively but when people began simply putting positive and winning thoughts in their heads, they typically stopped short of making them actual affirmations. Affirmations do not work unless the brain (that believes it is us) is convinced that what it is told is affirmed through repetition. For example, if you "hate" your job, say to yourself that you love doing what you do. Repeat this many times throughout your work day and see how soon you and your environment have changed. (Not everyone can find work they love but everyone can love the work they do).

It is like Dr. Paul Pearsall tells us: We cannot only tell our brains what to think but how to think. Indeed, once you convince your brain that you are a happy, successful person you will no doubt be delighted by what occurs in your life.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz gave us psycho-cybernetics which helps to more easily grasp what is being said here since especially many athletes use this system to better their skills and athletics abilities. For example, the basketball player sees himself making baskets in his mind...His brain does not know the difference between what is being imagined and what is actual and so the player improves in the external world by practicing in his or her internal world. This system can be used (successfully) for everything from painting to football...brick laying to sculpturing....and from sailing to sales.

And yes, if you think you really can! After all, the knowledge and expertise is already in you.



       Understanding Why and How You are Empowered to Change Your World

The physicist, Jeremy W. Hayworth, reminds us of a term that you may be unfamiliar with. It is a term that comes from alchemy meaning, "The world as it was in potential form." The term is unus mundus!

Hayworth tells that for the alchemist unus mundus "was the plan of the actual world that was already present in God's mind before he created it." and for Jung, "unus mundus was the primordial soup, or basic stuff out of which everything comes into existence."

We know from modern quantum physics, as stated earlier, that each of us are a participant in manifesting our worlds; part of the process of creating the flowers in our yards and the neighbors house next door. After all, in the far reaches of existence the observer and the observed are really one!

With this in mind let's take five individuals: Jack decides to be a master carpenter...Mike decides to be an entrepreneur...John decides to be an industrial designer...Jane decides to be a doctor while Jill chooses to be an archeologist.

Most commonly the scientists of today would say that all these people were given their skills and abilities by their genes; that talent is a generous gift of our DNA. But what if all these individuals decided differently? Mike chooses to be an industrial designer...John decides to be a master carpenter...Jack decides to be an archeologist...Jane decides to be a decorator and Jill decides to be an entrepreneur. What happens to the "gene machine" when it "decides" to change the course of "its" life?

The reductionists would probably argue that this just doesn't happen, the our genetic influences are in control. This is nonsense, however, since any normal, healthy child can be maneuvered to do what mommy and daddy approve of and applaud. Every sincere parent will know that I am saying here.

The alternative to the "gene" theory is to turn toward Jung's collective unconscious or, in other words, Universal Mind (or call it God) or Consciousness or, for that matter even the unus mundus. No matter what name you choose you will discover omniscience in it's being. We can virtually become anything we decide to be and accomplish the goal because everything to be known is already in our potential to be tapped into. To say "I can't" or "I don't want to" closes that particular door leading into the depths of the "unus mundus" until another choice is made.

This is clearly how Nature works. For example, everything that is created has remained as a ripple of possibility until an observer brings it into the world of form. When we grasp this, we realize that ALL THING PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE already wave form awaiting to be made manifest in the world of matter.  For the prehistoric person who first created a spear by throwing a pointed object, the rocket ship was in his potential. The first person to use fire to light a torch had the potential of harnessing electricity in him. Nothing created comes from brain but rather through it from the bottomless reservoir of potential. It is as Og Mandino tells each of us: "You already possess all the tools and materials necessary in order to change your life."

It is my hope that you will review all the above and really contemplate it. In the meantime, I will leave you one of my favorite quotes to ponder. It's from "Growth Games" by Howard H. Lewis and Dr. Harold S. Streifeld,

You are almost certainly better than you think you are. More than you permit yourself, you can be happier, stronger, braver. You can be more loving and giving; warmer, more open and honest; more responsible and responsive. You can perceive worlds richer and fuller than you now experience. You have it in you to be more creative, more zestful, more joyous. All the prospects are within you. They are your potential.

References and Further reading

Hayward, Jeremy W. * Letter to Vanessa * Shambhala

F. David, Peat * Synchronicity *Bantam

Reanney, Darryl * After Death * William Morrow and Company

Wolf, Fred Alan * The Eagle's Quest * Touchtone

Streifeld, Harold, S and Lewis, Howard R * Growth Games * Bantam

If You Enjoyed This Article, You'll Probably Enjoy:



Letters to Vanessa: On Love, Science and Awareness in an Enchanted World
Amazon Price: $24.95 $11.52 Buy Now
(price as of Apr 28, 2015)
This is a most fascinating book--I have read it many times and enjoyed it over and over. It's a teacher of the mind and heart.
The Roots of Consciousness: The Classic Encyclopedia of Consciousness Studies Revised and Expanded
Amazon Price: $36.87 Buy Now
(price as of Apr 28, 2015)
This is a most curious and fascinating book--I've had it in my library for years and refer to it all the time.