The first date often determines whether a couple will get to go on a second and start conte
With that said, let us first discuss what you should not talk about when going on a first date. Avoid controversial topics, like politics or religious beliefs. Sex is also a no-no, unless you intend on having a one-night stand. Instead, you need to focus on your date’s interests and concerns. Let them do more of the talking, but be cautious when you ask questions. This is especially the case when it comes to exes. For instance, if a date says that an ex lived in the area, do not ask personal questions about the relationship. Focus more on your date’s interests, as you can ask him or her THEY liked to do in their previous relationship.
If the conversation turns more personal, be compassionate. While you should avoid talking about an ex, if your date does it, you should not discourage the conversation. Remember, if your date just came out of a painful relationship, he or she may need a shoulder to cry on. However, on the same token, you do not want to be the rebound lover. With that said, take a neutral stance regarding the ex conversation. Let your date know that you understand their pain, but avoid taking sides. Also, do not try to be the “hero,” explaining how you will treat them so much better than their ex. This type of talk makes you seem disingenuous. If you are at a total loss for words, try to change the subject by ordering a glass a wine, or making a comment about the restaurant.
Even deciding what you are going to order could spark up interesting conversation. Nearly everyone has emotions connected to their favorite food… try to discover these emotions during the ordering process.
If you still suffer from silence, try to do something with your date. Dancing is a good example. It is a fun activity that brings about many laughs, even for the shyest of people. Of course, if you are at a restaurant that does not have dancing, you may have to go to a different venue. Seeing a movie could be an option, though it will interrupt your conversation. On the upside, when the movie is over, you and your date automatically have something to talk about. If you prefer to have, conversation the whole way through, you can take a romantic stroll through the park, or hang out at an amusement park.
Just make sure that you do not put on a phony persona. While you do want to make a positive impression, you still have to be yourself. Otherwise, one of two scenarios could happen. Either you would appear really awkward to your date, or they might end up falling in love with a very different personality. Neither of these scenarios is desirable, which is why you need to have confidence in what YOU have to offer. In fact, confidence is what will really win people over.
Yes, you do need to be presentable, in both appearance and personality, but on the same token, you should not mold yourself based on what you think your date wants. For example, if you are not a funny person, do not try to force jokes just because all the tips for a first date say that humorous people get more love. Talk about things that are more serious (while avoiding the most controversial subjects). Conversely, if you are humorous, do not act differently because your date appears more solemn.
Ultimately, your date must learn to accept you as you are. No amount of conversation will change that fact. However, if your date has some attraction to you already, your conversation will make their feelings stronger… so strong that they will not hesitate going out on a second date.