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Cougar Dating

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 0 0

Dating younger men can be a huge amount of fun. While in many respects, it's much the same as dating any other guy, the guidelines are a little different.

Once you have figured out how to meet a toyboy, then the next step is, of course, the dating game. And, in case you're wondering - I married my toyboy, so I know the facts from experience!

Here are some rules to make your toyboy date run smoothly:

1: Don't show him your emotional baggage. At least, not at first. Younger men simply don't come with so much baggage and are at a stage where they are often still learning about their emotions - one of the pitfalls of integenerational dating. If you drag them down with tales of custody battles, alimony payments and career worries, he's going to run the other way. Keep things light and fun – that's what you're both there for.

2: Be open and receptive. While he's recounting his last crazy guys night out, don't judge him or act disinterested. Just because you may be more of a weekend in the Hamptons kind of woman, he's probably not been around anyone with the means for that kind of definition of 'fun'. You know he'll try pretty much anything, so don't dismiss his ideas, if you haven't tried them yourself.

3: What are his intentions? Is he just after some fun? Something more? What about you? The worst scenario can be when you're looking for something steady and serious, and after a time, you find out he's only after some fun. If only you'd both been clear at the start. Of course, things may get more serious and may change along the way, but start by being clear on both your intentions and his to avoid unnecessary heartbreak.

4: What are his cougar credentials? Has he dated older women before? Are cougars and dating older women his thing? If it is, that's good for you. He'll be used to dealing with women, rather than girls, and know the score. If he's new to intergenerational dating, then he may be victim to the media image of a cougar, and be expecting you to give him the whole Mrs Robinson meets Kim Catrall treatment. If that's not your bag, you need to set him straight, and put his expectations in check.

5: Don't lose sight of your self esteem. When faced with a date who is a handsome, fit and gorgeous younger guy, it's easy to feel a little intimidated. But the allure of an older woman is her confidence and self-esteem. Older women dating younger men are hot! Lose sight of that, and you'll be worried he's going to run off with someone younger, that he won't find you attractive and you'll become no better than the same age, needy ex he decided to get away from. Many of these worries can turn into self-fulfilling prophecies, so don't entertain them – not for a single minute!

Happy dating!

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