Creating the Positive, Happy and Prosperous in Your Life…The Easy Way
By: J. Marlando
Life, as we all know, is often packed with challenges and struggle—the ups and downs of joy and sorrows (fears and uncertainties), successes and failures and finally hope and disappointment. In other words, we live in a world of constant conflict, no doubt a reason why Prozac so rapidly became popular. In the shadows of all this, however, emerges a bright light and that light is simply called “love.” Love is probably much more than you think that it is, just as you are much more than you might think you are. My intent in this article is to empower you to become in charge of your world, to start making positive changes in your life and…the life of others right now!
You might be skeptical after reading the above but, just think about it, you have nothing to lose by reading forward and so very much to gain. And yes, I am fully aware that I am attempting a sales pitch here but I promise you, it’s only because I am so anxious to share the magic and mysticism that’s taken me long many years to accumulate. And anyway, remember that if you don’t agree with what I am saying, you are always free to dump this article in a virtual trash can.
With the above in mind, let’s get started.
The Magic of Decision Making
Most of us—at least from time to time—have felt like we are out of control in a chaotic world where greed and self-centeredness rules. While we can always and easily find those much worse off than we are, heartbreak, aloneness and despair are relative just as joy and celebration are.
If you are an adult and are NOT as happy in your circumstances as you would like to be just remember that EVERYTHING that has gone right and wrong in your life can be traced back to the chain event of the choices you’ve made. As it turns out, the world really is what each of us makes it. However, there are influences that alter this rule of thumb—the way we were raised, for example, can have tremendous impact on our adult lives and how we decide things. In fact, we can make decisions based on a current of unconscious reasons that we are not even unaware of. Thus when we think about our free will to decide, we must consider all our indoctrinations and our experiences. And so, if you will, the trick is getting rid of all the mental baggage that enslaves you so that you can make positive decisions for yourself out of the clarity of your mindscape.
Here is the first list of affirmations to think about and repeat.
- I am NOT what my parents or anyone else told me that I am
- My parents are no longer in charge of my life, I no longer need to mind them
- My past is what it is, it is meaningless and I cast it out of my head
- I am NOT how much or little that I own
- Every moment I live really is a new beginning
The point is to consciously unclutter our minds from ALL our indoctrinations, concepts and other false information about ourselves and the world. The world incidentally is a place of cooperation, balance and beauty. It is only the egocentricity of our kind that fills it with fear, struggle and hunger. You can make the choice to be of this world or simply in it. This means that you can freely CHOOSE forgiveness over anger, love over hate and kindness over cruelty.
The way to acquire these beneficial qualities is to consciously apply them to yourself—to base your decision making on what is self-forgiving…self-loving and kindness to self is extremely important especially because you cannot give what you do not have.
The Art of Miracle Making
It feels so natural to hope for and/or pray for a miracle when we are frightened about something—when we can’t meet our bills…when we are seriously hurt or ill…when Murphy’s Law seems to be working in our life and everything that can go wrong…does.
During these unhappy times individuals, most typically, blame others or blame fate for their circumstances. And, they will invariably (often secretly) pray or ask for a miracle. If the major problem is money, for example, even the most mature adult might wish that he or she would magically win the lotto or trip over a bag of gold. That is when we feel like failures in one way or another and our brains take us back to our primitive past when magic things happened.
It is important for you to stop seeking the miracle and instead begin seeking the miracle-maker…yourself!
Here is the second list of affirmations to think about and repeat.
- I will stop trusting my brain today and begin listening to the whispers of my heart
- I will trust myself today
- Every Moment I live really is a new beginning
Most people spend a lifetime enslaved by the belief that they are subject to their body/brains where ego reigns and self-centeredness dwells. From early childhood we are generally taught to disregard our feelings and depend on the so-called objective mind. Yet, how many times have people said, “If only I’d followed my heart…” Following one’s heart, however, does not mean being guided by emotions—emotions can be ever as misleading as the mind’s justifications.
Following one’s heart begins with opening to the Universe.
Opening to the universe means to surrender control, the very thing that your ego cherishes and actually believes it has. The will to control, however, has caused more heartbreak and sadness than nearly anything else on the planet and, perhaps in your life too.
Opening to the Universe takes the willingness to become vulnerable and even childlike. Childlike mind you not childish! In any case, once you learn to consistently live open heartedly you will begin seeing the miraculous occurring in your life; you will start noticing positive synchronicities happening to you and soon enough people will start asking you if you changed your hair or had a facelift…I don’t know how this happens but I can tell you it does.
The Power of Words
I am certainly not the first person to write about the power of words. Words, however, have been known to manifest into reality since ancient times. For example in the meditations of Rumi we read, “Every thought has a parallel action. Every prayer has a sound and a physical form.” In the New Testament, John says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Joel Osteen said, “You can change your world by changing your words.”
Before we go into the metaphysics of words, we will discuss the obvious power of what we say.
Our words can encourage or discourage…can build up or tear down…can create hope or despair…can create joy or sorrow, happiness or unhappiness in ourselves and for others.
Words have healing powers as well. This was well known in indigenous tribal villages where medicine men and women would often repeat and chant words of wellness over ill people such as—your body is cool, the fever has gone away…you are strong again and other words describing good health.
Here is the third list of affirmations to think about and repeat.
- Today my life is happy and healthy
- Today I am free
- Every moment I live really is a new beginning
Words manifest into realities because what we project into the Universe is always reflected. For example, it is NOT uncommon for people to say things such as:
Nothing good ever happens to me
I never have any luck
Everyone is only out for themselves
I never get the breaks
What a lousy life
Or, even more frequently people say things like:
This (or that) makes me sick
I’d rather die
I just can’t stomach it
I nearly had a heart attack
It’s a real headache
When we realize that our brains cannot tell the difference between truth and metaphor, we also realize that these “words” are messages. Returning to an example I’ve used many times, if you call the rose bush a thorn bush that is exactly what it will become for you. This is also applicable to what you call your marriage, your job or your life.
In a way our brains can be looked at as a kind of genie in a lamp. That is, it delivers chemicals that it believes you have requested—indeed, if you say that the hair on the butter makes you sick…it will. Your brain knows precisely what to do!
Words simply create phenomena for ourselves and for others. For perfect examples, in marriage name calling and belittling creates emotional distances between couples and of course we cannot forget Henry Ford’s famous saying—if you think you can or if you think you can’t, you are right.
As an aside we need to talk about the brain for a moment. Regardless of what a lot of scientists say, the brain does NOT house the mind. It is merely a superior gland that receives and transmits messages. It is, it can be said, a marvelous and amazing chemical factory that creates realities for the body it inhabits. The mind, however, is NOT a epiphenomenon of the brain because mind is throughout the body and outside the body. Indeed, each of us is in connectedness to everything else—this is the great phenomenon of consciousness itself. Read “Wholeness and the Implicate Order” by David Bohn. (See end of this article).
What most people never think about is that what they say in terms of judgment values become affirmations and our own affirmations is what constructs the realities that each of us live in. It is in fact as easy to say I love the world today as it is to say I hate life. When you affirm that you love life, loving experiences begin to happen for you.
The Power of Love
Years ago when I taught a workshop on this very subject I would give the students an early assignment. I would ask them to say silently to themselves “I love you” to everyone the greeted or spoke to for a week. I never failed to get astonishing reports. For example, a couple of experiences that was shared with me was that, “I went into this store and the clerk was really unpleasant and was unfriendly when she asked, ‘can I help you.’
It was difficult but before I answered I said, “I love you” to myself and you know that lady’s entire attitude changed.” And another typical story was, “I just said “I love you” to everyone I saw even people I saw from my car or even the passerby on the street and my day turned bright and, I don’t know, better.”
For those readers who think this is mere polyannish gibberish, you need to give this a sincere test over a 5 to 7 day period. If you do, in a sincere way, you will begin seeing results that are truly positive for others but also for yourself. This is not only true for strangers but for those you are closest to such as relatives, friends and spouses. Oh yes, one other thing, it is important not to tell anyone what you are doing. If you do the practice loses its effectiveness.
As another quick aside there are three types of love: Eros, Philos and Agape. Eros love is sometimes called erotic or romantic love because it is connected to our libido urges. Such love is desired to be reciprocal and devoted. Philos love is also a reciprocal loving in that it is about give and take as in a friendship, partnership or even a love affair where Eros has played a role. Agape love is what we are talking about in this article, however. Agape is unconditional love as it is said Jesus had for the world. Agape love encompasses the entire universe and therefore all that is in it.
There is a wonderful and meditative way to practice Agape: Take a walk through the park or even around the block—wherever it is safe—and say to EVERYTHING that you see, “I love you” Yes, this includes the very stones beneath your feet; the grass and the sky. Then spend five or so minutes dwelling on one thing such as a tree or single plant. Open your heart to whatever it is you are dwelling on and empty your mind. What you will be doing is permitting yourself to become in unity with, say, the tree or flower you have opened to.
This may sound absurd to some readers who have never thought like this or have never experienced his or her connectedness to everything else but all things have a certain degree of awareness-feeling and so it is as the physicist Jeremy W. Hayward tells us to ask such things as, what does it feel like to be my roses or to be the tree outside my window. And, you will discover that love dwells in all things. In fact, I once asked the physicist Fred Alan Wolf what love is and he answered, “The glue of the universe.”
Love is indeed our connecting factor to the web of relationships that each one of us has with the entire world. Indeed, while we are used to thinking that we are over here and the tree is over there, the truth is that everything is in oneness and we can become aware of that oneness through our unconditional love.
The truth is that most of us human beings have been raised NOT to love unconditionally; to especially be beware of others using us in one way or another. And it is true many people will let you down, mislead you, use you and so forth. The greatest strength, however, when it comes to friends and foes, is to know all about them and love them anyway.
When you practice this you will discover your entire world not only brightens but becomes happier and freer. Indeed, the power of love prevails over all else.
Here is a forth list of affirmations to think about and repeat
- I will begin each day saying “I love you” to the person reflected in the mirror remembering that one cannot give what one does not have
- I will walk the path of love today and in the doing I will say silently to myself “I love you” to all thing along my way including strangers
- Every moment I live really is a new beginning
When we permit ourselves to walk in love, our aloneness simply goes away and we begin grasping ourselves as being part of the greater whole. As a result, our prejudice, such as racism and sexism dissolves and also goes away. Our fears dissipate, our courage escalates and we are at peace in the world.
What is also interesting is that when we permit ourselves to love unconditionally our choices become wiser and more productive. We are, as it is often said, in tune.
Love empowers us. As I have mentioned in other articles, some years ago I interviewed Dr. Bernie Siegel, the famous cancer surgeon, who was first to say that love is physiologic; that love heals! A person given lots of love are more apt to survive a life-threatening illness than a person who receives little or no love! Indeed, Wayne W. Dyer told us to, “Know the connection between manifesting your heart’s desire and unconditional love. Unconditional love is the energy of the universe, it is what God is and, therefore, what you are…” and so unconditional love is the creative force we all have innately in us but is commonly subdued by the ways of world. As a result we begin asking questions such as, what happens if I give my love unconditionally to someone or something and I am betrayed or cheated or misused or rejected and so we CHOOSE to deny ourselves the capacity to love unconditionally and instead make Eros and Philos loving our aim, the what-am-I-getting-back syndrome; a life style removed from connectedness except at a distance.
We each have the potential to change this, however, if we decide to. Here is a fifth list of affirmations that will assist you in bring your unconditional love back to the surface.
- Today I will be forgiving, forgiving of self and so of others.
- Today I will be tolerant, tolerant of myself and so of others
- Today I will be kind, kind to myself and so to others
- Today I will love the world…unconditionally
- Today I will know that every moment I live really is a new beginning
Relearning to love unconditionally means deconstructing many of your lifetime indoctrinations. This can only occur through the practice of unconditionally loving. This begins by sincerely and consciously forgiving any and all those who have hurt you or betrayed you in some way. After all, a person who walks in love cannot walk in un-forgiveness as one cancels the other.
It is also vital to practice tolerance since unconditional love judges not. Like the roses that grow under Emerson’s window they “make no reference to former roses or to better ones, they are for what they are…” Life and people are what they are, while they may have countless imperfections they remain perfect in and of themselves and anyway, as the old saying teaches us, we cannot know anyone unless we have walked a mile in their moccasins.
There is never a question of what is right and what is wrong when we CHOOSE to do the KIND thing. Kindness is the cornerstone of unconditionally loving. Kindness in fact is the major action of unconditional love. Without conscious kindness there can be no love of any kind and only self-service.
Because the realizations in this article will be new and so foreign to some readers, it is important to not only say the affirmations but to put the activities of love into your daily life. If you have courage enough to do this you will begin seeing happy, positive and prosperous changes in your life that you perhaps never thought possible.
References and suggested further reading
Bohn, David * Wholeness and the Implicate Order *Routledge
Dyer, Wayne W. * Manifest Your Destiny * HarperCollins
Hayward, Jeremy W. * Latters to Vanessa * Shambhala
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