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Dating Chinese Women and How to Attract Them

By Edited Feb 4, 2014 0 0

Many guys are interested in dating Chinese women these days. Yet many are very confused by the many cultural differences and wonder if it's actually a practical decision. So, are there actual differences that will have an effect on your relationship with Chinese girls?

After having lived in mainland China for over eight years I have to say the answer is 'yes'.  But don't let that dissuade you, because if you can attract the right kind of Chinese woman  these cultural differences will pale by comparison to the happiness you will get from this kind of relationship.

Chinese Culture

Chinese culture has developed around very different philosophical precepts to western culture, and whereas western culture is largely based on the philosophy of Socrates and Plato, Chinese culture draws its main influences from Confucianism and Daoism (Taoism). The resulting culture is  quite distinct from what is commonly known as 'western culture' and the environment you or I have been brought up in.

Chinese culture greatly values the family and filial responsibility,  but to be honest  many Chinese women are going beyond this and seeking more fulfilment outside of the family these days.

Possible Issues When Dating Chinese Women 

Dating western women can be quite straight forward, but dating Chinese women, even in the beginning, requires some kind of long term commitment. This is simply because without that it would be a big 'loss of face' for her to be in a relationship with you.

Therefore, if you are dating a Chinese woman, or hoping to attract one to you, you should really emphasize in the beginning that you are in it for the long haul, or at least regard her as your girlfriend and be faithful to her for the duration of the relationship. Without this basic point, it would be very difficult for any Chinese women to accept you as a boyfriend. Casual dating is not really the norm in China.

Another very important point to bear in mind, is that she will expect you to be more attentive towards her than you might be with a western girl. This can cause a lot of problems and misunderstandings if you're not careful. In actually fact, in the beginning you may feel she is being overly possessive, yet this is often just the case in the opening months due to the fact that she is trying to make sure this relationship is a serious one.

Reassuring her in those months is also a major issue. The other main issue and problem is that she will often expect you to behave as if you are a Chinese male, being always dutiful and following her culture.

Advice for Dating Chinese Women

Take my advice, and don't allow yourself to fall into this trap. Any couple needs to compromise in order to create a harmonious relationship; yet many mainland Chinese, due to the psychological factors of their upbringing and culturally accepted behavioral patterns in China, will refuse this.

Always be aware when dating Chinese women that everything is a two-way street, and let her understand that she needs to also be flexible too. This lack of flexibility is by far, one of the biggest issues I have come across between Chinese females and western males over many years. 

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