Bar Scene
Credit: google images

Many people go out to sports bars and malls hoping to meet someone nice.  They finally meet someone and have a great conversation, but the problem now is how to ask them out for a date.  Whether they are shy or nervous, some of them miss that opportunity to connect with the potential date.  The only way to find out if the person is truly interested is to take that leap of faith and ask them out.

  •  Ask for the number.  If you are interested in the guy or girl, go ahead and ask them for their number.  The worst thing they can do is say no.  If they say no realize, it’s their loss not yours.  After all you’re a great person and they are lucky that you asked them.
  • No substitutes.  Never send another person to ask someone out for you.  By sending someone else you may give off the perception that you are insecure or really shy.  Depending on the person that you are asking out either one of those perceptions may not go over well.  Fear of rejection is something we all face, but it’s the very thing that makes us stronger.
  • Make the call.  If you get the number, then by all means make the call.  Men and women both sometimes play the game of calling two or three days after they get the number.  They believe by doing this they won’t seem desperate.  They don’t realize instead of desperate that may appear to be uninterested.  By the time they finally get around to calling it may be too late.  The next day is fine. 
  • Friends.  If you think they may be more comfortable going out with others, suggest a double date.  Believe it or not people do still go on this type of date.  It can make the two of you more relaxed if others that you are familiar with are interacting with the two of you.  If you are having a great time and want some time alone, you can always leave early and take the party somewhere else.
  • Fun.  Ask your date what they would like to do to make the day or evening enjoyable.  This will let them know that their feelings and needs are important to you.  What a way to make a statement.  Take their ideas and plan for some fun.  Make the first date one they will want to follow up with a second date.
  • Be Respectful.  When asking for the date, do it with respect to the person you are asking.  Don’t be silly or obnoxious.  This type of behavior is sure to be a turn off and will make you look foolish.  If you want to be taken seriously, than approach in that manner. 
  • Texting-As much as texting has become a part of our daily lives it is not for asking someone out on a date.  This can appear to be very cold and insincere.  So save the texting for the next chapter of the relationship, not the first.

There are many things that you can do to succeed at getting that first date.  So go ahead and make the phone call, be respectful and have fun.  You will not only get that first date, but hopefully the second one as well.  And remember, if your potential new friend doesn’t accept the date, don’t take it personal.  That just means the person that’s right for you is still out there waiting.