I am now 26 years old and when I was in third and fourth grade I went through weekly blood tests and constant doctor visits to see what was wrong with me. I was young, I became Anemic, had no energy, and was not healthy. Losing blood when I went to the bathroom was a scary thing for my parents. I had no concern for it. I was young. I hated my doctor, because of all the probing, and no solution. After over a year and multiple doctors, my parents were told that I may have cancer. Who wants to hear that about their child? Who can really deal with that? After more tests and a Colonoscopy they found out that I officially had Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis. I inherited it from my Grandfather on my dad's side. I never really knew any different and just dealt with it during my younger years. It was just a part of life, and it didn't flare up to often. I was also on a daily medication, Sulfazine. It helped then. I wasn't stressed back then, and it wasn't a concern. Only my family knew about the disease. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone that I had a real disease. I thought people would treat me like a Leper if anyone knew. I really can't remember too much back then, but I know today I hate the disease and wish I could be normal and feel normal.
Today my Crohn's disease is constantly flaring up, medication does not even help anymore. Stress has become a huge factor in it acting up. I'm stressed about everything nowadays. I stress about not having money, the bills I have to pay, my relationship, the fact that I've been in that relationship over 3 years and there's no plans of marriage on the horizon for him. It all adds up, and it's the worst it has ever been. It's hard to deal with and maybe just writing this quick little excerpt will help me feel better. It's not like you can talk to people. They just don't understand unless they are going through it too. I feel the worst pain in my stomach from the early afternoon through the night. It kicks in at the same time everyday. Its the worst pain I've felt with it. When you have a disease like this, you don't really have anyone to talk to and that will sympathize with you. There's no way they will ever understand and trust me they never try too hard to understand. It's not them feeling the pain and you aren't dying so oh well. I pray everyday that God will heal me from the inside out and I can feel normal once I again. I'm still waiting and I hope one day the pain of this disease, emotional and physical goes away.